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Week 1 NC success...strategy for week 2?


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soleharmony1123

I feel great about completing my first uninterrupted week of NC. Yesterday's voicemail from him was slightly upsetting except that I got the overall tone of his message and it was simply worded to elicit a response from me to no avail.

 

So, this starts a new week in which I have no doubts my ex will be calling since he hasn't stopped since he broke up with me. It's oddly coincidental that around the same time I had been introduced to the concept of NC on this site, I had also "landed" on another website discussing the same concept...all this within days before he broke up with me.

 

Needless to say, the knowledge I had already foregleaned from both sites (especially LS) was enough for me to accept the breakup with ease and dignity...no asking him for explanations, demanding anything...except one thing I did slip up and ask was if he was seeing someone else. I asked because the whole "needing space" line made little sense to me because we live about 50 miles from each other. I wanted us to spend time together on weekends or at least every other weekend.

 

Anyway, at this point in my life, I have made a conscious decision (which I reinforced since the breakup) to make ME the priority. Whether or not he ever "wakes up" and chooses to do so is his business. One day he may wake up and realize he's not the only one calling Sole and leaving a message on her voicemail. It's a sobering thought he may have to wrestle with for the rest of his life. Deep in the recesses of his mind and heart (if indeed he has one) he knows there is only one woman who has had his back, been in his corner and been willing to stand by him through his WORST...and that woman was me, unconditionally. And since he chose to downgrade me from a priority in his life to a mere option, he will reap the consequences from that decision. I believe already that he contacts me constantly because he feels guilty. But more than guilt is required to repair the damage he has done here.

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soleharmony1123

Rearden Metal, by all means, I need this site. lol!! For one thing, I don't know what "hand" he might try to play in the near future. Since LS has seen and heard it all, I still need the advice and moral support that I've been getting from the "experts" on this site. I'm dealing with the male mind, so I'll need insight from male LS'ers for sure!

 

-Soleharmony

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skydiveaddict
I feel great about completing my first uninterrupted week of NC. Yesterday's voicemail from him was slightly upsetting except that I got the overall tone of his message and it was simply worded to elicit a response from me to no avail.

 

.

You're doing fine except for one thing:DONt listen to the voicemail. When you get a V-mail from him just delete it.

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soleharmony1123
You're doing fine except for one thing:DONt listen to the voicemail. When you get a V-mail from him just delete it.

 

 

Okay, Skydive, I understand the strategy behind deleting the vmail. That helps me continue to detach emotionally because I no longer hear his voice.

 

But what if he arrives at the point where he REALLY wants to talk about the relationship? He's not going to drive 50 miles to show up at my door unannounced. So, the phone is going to be his first choice of reaching out - if he gets to that point.

Edited by soleharmony1123
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