Hurt, Sad, and Feeling Used

[HurtStudent]

Hey everyone. I'm a male student studying in England in my final year. My flat mate was an exchange student from the United States (only here for 3 months), and we hit it off right away. The relationship started pretty slow, I didn't know if she was interested, but she really drove it forward and eventually we became boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

But, the whole time- things didn't seem right. She refused to update her status on Facebook, and in the beginning- she even told me she had a boyfriend, but things were complicated. I confronted her about it. She said that she didn't want to be with him, and that he was suicidal, etc. etc. She said that he had given his mom $2000 for a eurotrip that was already paid for and that she was going to live with him and she didn't want to.

 

I'm a very understanding guy, so I tried to help, and I told her it was okay and that we would work things out. I told her to go on the trip since I didn't want her to lose the money. She was incredibly sweet, drop dead gorgeous, and she was so hardworking- having a full scholarship. Things were great, we would spend morning to evening together. We did have a hiccup where she broke up with me over an argument, but that only lasted a week and our relationship just grew stronger than ever. But, the whole exboyfriend thing always seemed suspicious, and when I asked her why she talked to him everyday on msn- she responded it was because "he had done a lot for her."

 

But, she had made me fall in love with her, and she talked about spending her future with me in New York and even children. I was the one who just wanted to end it after three months, but she was pushing for a long distance relationship that would last forever. She seemed so genuine about it all, and I thought things would last forever. I sacrificed everything for her. I changed myself completely for her. I spent over $1,000 of my savings on her. I skipped class and fell behind in all my classes. I just wanted to prove to her how much I loved her.

 

Two days before she left for her trip (Which I asked again and again for her not to go), she tried to break up with me because she didn't know if I loved her enough. I spent the entire night shopping, and gave her flowers, stuffed animals, and literally dozens of dollars worth of presents. She cried and took me back.

 

So, I took her to London- the first stop on her eurotrip, and left her at the hotel with her ex. I tried texting her, and she responded immediately, but after a couple times she stopped. I got really depressed and sent her a text saying I was going back to the university, and she responded why so soon and that she wasn't sure about the whole trip anymore. I went to her hotel and stayed waiting for her and she came out and said she wasn't going to go anymore and that would she stay with me- that he found out about me and read all the texts. She tried to stay, and they missed two flights in a row, but in the end she went.

 

During her trip, I wrote to her two times a day- and she responded to me in secret every few days. But it was always in secret, and she never called me or let me call her. I was manically depressed and miserable. I also was writing a 2500 word essay for her because she convinced me it was an important sign of my love.

 

When I went back to England (im an international student)- I could call her, and I tried, but she would immeadiatly say she was busy and hang up. I tried texting her, but she was slow to respond. I brought her luggage for her from the unviersity (I was storing it) and she inititally only wanted me to give it to her at 11pm, then changed to 9pm, and then finally just came to meet me at 2pm.

 

She said she fought with him, and we spent the day together- but she seemed distant. She seemed as though she didn't want to kiss me, but did anyway, and we hugged and laughed, but things weren't the same. I gave her a present, a scrapbook I had worked so hard on and a crystal necklace. She said she loved me, and she was still serious about me.

 

Then she left on Friday. On Saturday she didn't call me. On Sunday she didn't call me. Sunday night I grew desperate and sent her emails to her accounts, to her facebook, and everything telling her to please call me- that if she loved me she would do me this one favor. I was in so much emotional pain. I didn't sleep a single minute that night.

 

She didn't call. She sent a message saying she was incredibly busy.

 

Tuesday morning, she was on msn. She was working on the essay I had done for her, and nitpicking small things regardless of the fact she only looked at it hours before it was due. She didn't respond to any of my questions about how she was. I said we need to talk. She agreed and said I could talk during her class breaks. I tried calling her then, and she didn't pick up and yelled at me for calling her. She then started going on about how she didn't know if it would work between us because of how my parents didn't like her. I got angry, and told her that she had been lieing to me the whole time, that she got back together with her ex, and then said this was goodbye. I deleted her from msn, I deleted her from my facebook, everything.

 

Because, the truth is- she had actually never broken up with her ex. She had been messaging him behind my back and abusing my trust. The entire time. She had lied to me about the trip- he was actually paying for all of it. She had lied about so many things. And now, I think she went back to her exboyfriend and the reason she hasn't called me is that she promised him she would never talk to me ever again. I think she's deleted all my emails and any trace of me.

 

And now I feel hurt. I feel so alone. She still hasn't messaged me since I said goodbye to her on msn. I don't know what to do, I loved this girl to bits, and I think she did love me back at one point.

 

Any advice? I don't want to end things this way, but I doubt she'll ever talk to me again.

[lmauk]

Oh my god its true!! the devil is real!!! and is walking around in the form of your ex girlfriend!!

 

She is one B***H ! People like her are a waste of skin. Why are people so cruel? My god.

 

Its hard and i know you dont want to hate her but you HAVE to let her go she is not worth any of your time. She has chewed you up and spat you out my friend. And now you have two options - a) you stay in this horrible limbo or not wanting to let her go and wondering what she's doing, whislt she's swaning off with Mr ex (by the way dont be jealous of him, your lucky you dodged a big bullet) OR b) you move on, forget about her and find someone that will treat you how you deserve to be treated.

 

You should never have to 'prove' you love someone. That's the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard.

 

TIME FOR TOUGH LOVE:

You gotta man up. Dont ever ever ever do that for someone again EVER.

Dont ever speak to her again. she does it once its her fault she hurts you again its yours. I learnt that the hard way. Dont do the same.

 

[GrayClouds]

You got played by a player and that sucks. Time to find your strength and go NC.

[HurtStudent]

Well, I have no evidence!

 

I called her today and she was willing to talk, she explained how she was upset that I said I would pursue a Masters here instead of coming to the States.

 

I said I would come to the States if she gave me some form of commitment and she hasn't really replied and just doges my questions. She also dodged the question about me accusing her of cheating. I mean, I don't know any girl who takes that type of thing lightly....

 

Sigh. Should I just give up? Should I move on? It all seems so much more trouble than its worth, but I do love her at the moment.

[Catseye8]

She refused to update her status on Facebook, and in the beginning- she even told me she had a boyfriend, but things were complicated. I confronted her about it. She said that she didn't want to be with him, and that he was suicidal, etc. etc.

 

I sacrificed everything for her. I changed myself completely for her. I spent over $1,000 of my savings on her. I skipped class and fell behind in all my classes. I just wanted to prove to her how much I loved her.

 

she tried to break up with me because she didn't know if I loved her enough. I spent the entire night shopping, and gave her flowers, stuffed animals, and literally dozens of dollars worth of presents. She cried and took me back.

 

I was manically depressed and miserable.

 

I also was writing a 2500 word essay for her because she convinced me it was an important sign of my love.

 

I brought her luggage for her from the unviersity (I was storing it)

 

I gave her a present, a scrapbook I had worked so hard on and a crystal necklace.

 

I was in so much emotional pain. I didn't sleep a single minute that night.

 

She was working on the essay I had done for her, and nitpicking small things regardless of the fact she only looked at it hours before it was due.

 

She agreed and said I could talk during her class breaks. I tried calling her then, and she didn't pick up and yelled at me for calling her.

 

Oh. My. God.

 

HurtStudent, I get that your head and your heart are a mess right now, but believe me, letting this girl have any influence in your life at all is just going to hurt you more. Forget the situation with her 'ex'-boyfriend, whatever's going on there - look at what you've done for her, and look at what she's put you through! You sound like a great guy with a lot of love to give. Do not tie your happiness up in this woman and whatever she's going to pull next.

[MarcMann]

You sound like a really nice guy, so I'll give it to you straight.

 

Move on. When a girl (or guy) sneaks around and doesn't give straight answers, they are hiding something.

 

So keep yourself busy. Focus on your school and have fun. Eventually she'll fade out of your life.

[HurtStudent]

Thank you for the kind replies. I know. I've done so much for her. I guess this is because I was always lonely before, and I just always wanted to be in a relationship, and it just seemed like there was so many good things about her, and I'm just scared I might not find anyone like her. I think secretly and possibly shallowly, I'm just scared I'll never find someone so beautiful and successful.

 

The kicker is, the ex has done even more. The ex pretty much emptied his bank account, possibly got a tattoo, and then took out a loan to finance this trip. I think the ex is the one who is actually a nice guy, but she said he was psycho and suicidal.

 

It's as though suddenly I've taken his position in the relationship. She used to talk to him on msn and simply close the laptop when I came in without saying bye, leaving him in the dark. She never called him, and she only talked to him on msn. It makes me sick to my stomach. I bet she's probably told him I'm obsessed about her and suicidal or anything.

 

She pretty much got angry at me because I mentioned once in passing that I may stay in Europe because the States is unrealistic.

 

I told her I would only go the States if she helped me, but she doesn't talk to me on msn, or doesn't even send me emails or anything. I also said for her to just break up with me if she wanted to break up with me.

 

I'm just in awe. Because, I'm a guy with a very positive outlook on the world. Maybe I'm naive. But, I've never met anyone who was like this, I mean- I figure I'm a good judge of moral character, but for her to pretty much ignore me when she went back to the States is just painful.

 

Why is she doing this? Is it her childhood? Is it her past relationships? It doesn't make much sense. How can someone care so much about themselves and care so little about other people. Is there any way to offer her a pamphlet on not being the devil?

 

Everyday, it gets better and better. I just wish I had NC from the start. How should I end things with her, again?

Edited January 14, 2010 by HurtStudent

[HLP234]

 

I'm just in awe. Because, I'm a guy with a very positive outlook on the world. Maybe I'm naive. But, I've never met anyone who was like this, I mean- I figure I'm a good judge of moral character, but for her to pretty much ignore me when she went back to the States is just painful.

 

Why is she doing this? Is it her childhood? Is it her past relationships? It doesn't make much sense. How can someone care so much about themselves and care so little about other people. Is there any way to offer her a pamphlet on not being the devil?

 

Everyday, it gets better and better. I just wish I had NC from the start. How should I end things with her, again?

 

I know what you mean by not finding anyone like her. That was how my ex was..knew her for years and thought she was different than any other girl I had ever met. To a point she was, but her problems from the past rose up when we started dating. She wanted a break and then just moved on without giving me any closer, saying its over, I got nothing.

 

I found out I was removed from facebook so I could not see her profile, removed from all other contact forms. Its a childish and cowardly thing to do but sometimes you got to realize this stuff happens.

 

Your ex did not really ever get over her other bf. She was using you because you are nice and gave her support. Its time you forget her and never even look back. At least you got a goodbye.

 

The thing is we nice guys are naive. You can be nice to everyone but you can't let that come out in a relationship or they will see it and fold you like a pretzel. Sure I have the same views as you on the world and how things should be, but sometimes others are not at that level yet.

 

You should not even bother with her anymore, focus on you and meeting someone else. Doesn't even have to be for a relationship, just some friends to keep you busy and about. Have fun and finish your school, there is more to life than this girl..and there are plenty out there you will run into..but you can use this as a lesson learned.

[Catseye8]

Is there any way to offer her a pamphlet on not being the devil?

 

LOL! I wish... If you do manage to get hold of that pamphlet, make sure you print off a lot of copies. You'll make a fortune.

 

As for why she's doing this - it might be that she's a very damaged person coming out of bad experiences in her past, or it might be that she's possessed by a demon, or it might be that she's just hugely selfish and manipulative and has worked out that she can get away with this kind of behaviour. I'm guessing option C, myself, but I don't know her and at any rate it doesn't matter. She's acted the way she's acted, and that's that. What matters here is you. Get yourself back.

 

How should I end things with her, again?

 

You can go NC right now and resist the urge to answer if she calls you. You can send her a short, polite message wishing her well in her life, and then go NC. You can send her a longer message telling her she's a manipulative demon and you've had enough, and then go NC. You can send a barbershop quartet to her house... Well, you get the picture. Basically, you need to do what's best for you right now, and to do it without worrying about or secretly hoping for a particular response from her.

 

If I was in your position, I'd send her a short message calling things off myself, so she wouldn't get the satisfaction of thinking I was just waiting for her to call, and then go total NC. Even if she apologises. Especially if she apologises. But you don't need to do that - you can go NC now without a word, you can write her a long letter telling her how much she's hurt you and everything bad she's done, whatever. (If you do that, do not send the first draft!) What would you rather do? What do you think will make you happiest in the future, looking back on this situation from a great distance?

[HLP234]

Sometimes when you are hurt, and she has left you, there is nothing for you to say. You just have to leave things unsaid and go NC. What may happen is you send something, she apologizes, just so she can keep you on hoping.

 

Then it ends up with more questions that you don't have the answers to. You would be stuck wondering what is happening next.

[HurtStudent]

HLP234: You are right. I guess I just need to be much more protective next time and learn that love has to go both ways.

 

Catseye: I decided I had to write a letter. So I wrote to her something extremely lengthy, and I just wished her the best in life and I stated that I couldn't do this anymore because she was hurting me too much and I needed to move on with my life.

 

Now I just need to uphold NC. I've already removed everything that reminds me of her and deleted all her contact details. Part of me wants to delete all the emails from her as well.

 

During this time, all my friends have supported me. Even my parents have comforted me and supported me after I explained the situation to them. I've just been so happy to have all these people care about me, and I know that all my friends and family love me more than she does.

 

I guess I just have to figure out my life without her now, and focus on myself.

[PACT]

While this doesn't really remedy your situation, you might consider yourselfsomewhat lucky. This girl clearly has some issues and I understand you are emotionally attached to her but it's good you got out now. From your posts it seems like she is doing the same thing to you that she was doing to the other guy earlier. And the fact is, she's gonna do it to this guy again and focus on someone else and then either go back with him or stick with the new guy and then eventually find another new guy and turn her current bf into the "msn guy" if you understand what i mean.

 

I think with this girl it will always be a never ending cycle of this BS with multiple guys and you're lucky you've had it happen now rather than had you moved to the States or something like that. The other guy on the other hand...look at it this way, he's still screwed because he's still with her. She must be lying to him too because otherwise why would he still be with her if he truly knew everything about yours and hers situation? This guy is going to end up way more hurt down the road than you are now so think of it as a positive that you got to jump ship early.

[HLP234]

My ex also did something similar to me. She had this this best friend she always went to when she was feeling down or needed to talk about something. She would tell me it was nothing but a friend (of course) and that she would not date him.

 

Guess what, she left me without saying crap and now she is with him. I'm sure if this guy knew my side of the story as well as hers, he would be worried too. But he doesn't know and now she will just hold everything in and forget it because she wants to be happy with him.

 

These type of girls will always have this problem. They won't realize what is wrong until they take time to heal and figure stuff out without getting from one relationship into another.

 

She will never say anything to me I know this..and I have nothing to say to her after what she did, so that is the way it will be. It hurts knowing what she did and that she'll never acknowledge it but I know I deserve better than someone who wanted to take a break for no reason, so they could use that to see if they can get with someone else.

[HurtStudent]

This guy is going to end up way more hurt down the road than you are now so think of it as a positive that you got to jump ship early.

 

I know, and I feel so sorry for this guy, because I didn't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt people, I hate hurting people. I try to avoid arguments, I try to be so positive in life. I didn't want to do this, and I wouldn't if she told me. And she knew, and she lied to me.

 

And I know she misled this guy, she talked to him about kids, about spending forever with him. She did pretty much the same exact thing she did with me. By the book. And he loved her, and he still loves her even knowing about me (Although I don't know if she lied about me, she probably did.) When she was with me, he would call her- every day desperately, but she never picked up the phone. I never saw her talk to him on the phone- it was always on msn.

 

I found out that the guy actually spend upwards to $10,000 on this eurotrip for them both, and that he actually took out a loan to finance this trip. He used to walk her to all her classes, every single one, he would do anything for her. He spent all his money on her. I don't know why she did this to him, I don't know why she hurt him too. I asked her, I asked her if he knew about me when we were together, and she said no. I tried to explain how she was going to hurt him, but it didn't seem like she cared.

 

One day, I tried to explain to her that she was using people, and she was so angry and shut the door on me. And I had to literally tell her I was talking about something else or else she would break up with me. She said that everyone she knows thinks that she uses people and she can't stand to know her boyfriend thinks the same. She does all of this, and is either on purpose or she's in complete selfish denial. She tricks herself into thinking she's actually a good person. And it hurts me, because I know she can be caring, and she is kind- she does volunteer work, and is always friendly to anyone she meets regardless of popularity.

 

But I know, I'll never be able to reach her, and everything is too far gone now. Now, I can only hope that one day she wakes up and looks at herself in the mirror before it's too late. Before what happened to her mother, happens to her. That the guy she marries can't stand the pain and leaves her. Now, I can't deal with this anymore. I'm just going to live my own life to the fullest.

 

NO CONTACT!

[HLP234]

You never know if they will realize what they are doing wrong but you can only hope. One day at a time, as they say karma is a bitch. It will hit her one day when she realizes that everyone is tired of her crap.

 

The best you can do is look out for your own good and have no hope of you two being together. There are so many others out there that can treat people right, it just takes a lot of time to find them.

 

We all wish getting over someone was so simple but its not when they hurt you and you are left to deal with the burden yourself. But just think of the future, and who you could be spending time with then. It will make you feel better, because at least from this you learned something that may help you understand..which you can use these signs to avoid next time.

[HurtStudent]

Thank you for all the help!

 

You are right- I know now what to avoid, and on the bright side- the bar for any of my future relationships is set so ridiculously low that I'm sure anyone special in the future will always treat me better than she did, and make me feel special. To think I cared for someone like her, imagine how I will care for someone who truly appreciates it.

 

Now, I just have to stick to No Contact. It's getting better with each day. I get sad, ridiculously sad at times- but I've built a very good support group. But, I'm no longer tempted to check her facebook for any signs, and I'm beginning to think about myself. I'm going to the gym, I started listening to Jack Johnson again (which she hated), and I'm beginning to think about the plans I used to have.

 

It hurts to think she could truly be like this. But, Imauk said it right, I dodged a bullet and managed to break free from a relationship that was ultimately borderline abusive. It was not healthy in any shape or form. I tried to make a list of all the things I didn't like about her when we broke up, and it proved to go on and on. I know I wasn't in love with her, I was in love with the idea of being with her and the idea that she could change if I loved her enough.

 

Thank you for all the support everyone. My goal this week is to not contact her at all.

Edited January 17, 2010 by HurtStudent

[Kelebek]

I only just read this and felt so upset for you - I'm so glad you seem better. Don't know why but your story struck a chord with me, it really upset me - it sounds like you were a WONDERFUL boyfriend, don't forget that, you couldn't have changed anything, some people are just so, so cruel. Horrible that you had to go through this but one day you'll find a girl who will SO appreciate your kindness and not need you to prove your love (what is that?! Horrid girl!)

 

Best of luck with everything, you deserve better x

[HurtStudent]

Thank you for all the kind words Kelebek. =) I know love is waiting for me around the corner- I just have to wait for it to come to me and not chase after it now! I'm happy I put my heart and soul in the relationship even if I was hurt, because I kept my word and backed up everything I said- and as someone said before, karma.

 

I know this isn't as serious as some other people here, but I just guess it hurts because of the way she used me.

 

Day 2 of true true No Contact. Things are going good- got a new haircut, and a new outlook on life. Whenever I feel like wallowing in my own self-pity, I'm just going to the gym. I've completely lost the desire to check up on her.

 

I've also bought Forgetting Sarah Marshall again and it's making me chuckle and laugh, which is good- I'm getting my humour back.

[Kelebek]

Don't belittle it, if something upsets you, it's important, bottom line! You're doing sooo well!!

 

I think it's brilliant you put your heart and soul into it, at least you know you went into the relationship 100% and that's DEFINITELY something to be proud of...that it didn't work out obviously says more about her than you. You don't sound bitter at all which I think is an amazing thing, you'll be hurt for a while but I hope you continue to put your heart and soul into future relationships, someday someone will appreciate it. I always do, even though I keep getting hurt I'm like, "oh well, I'm not going to stop putting my all in, cos the one time I do will be the time I should've!"

 

Sounds like you're making great progress. One day at a time, no other way to go about it

 

x

[HurtStudent]

Aww... now you're making me blush.

 

Thank you for all the kind words! It makes me feel so much better about all of this. You showed how this has been a positive experience, and it's true, it has been positive.

 

The more and more I move on, the bigger I realize how bad everything really was. I guess love just makes you play mind tricks with yourself. =) Can't wait to move on!

[Kelebek]

What a great way to look at it!! It's so true, you always learn something, even if it's not til much later. At the moment though you already seem to have learned what you will and won't accept in the future, in terms of treatment towards yourself, and I think that's a great start. You know you deserve better, don't ever let anyone walk over you like that again. I wouldn't blame you being a bit guarded next time, but that's a good thing, will ensure you don't let the warning signs pass you by again, you'll have your eyes open next time.

 

 

I feel a bit hypocritical saying that cos I've done it, said I wouldn't let it happen again and it DID, but that's only because I'm an optimist and always believe in love and it usually means I get walked all over, lol. But you know, they say, "love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching," and all that, don't they, so I try to follow that! Not good to tar everyone with the same brush and I honestly don't think there's a lot of girls like that. I could never do that to someone.

 

You also know how awful it is to be treated so badly so I bet you'll be a wonderful boyfriend to whoever snags you next

 

Keep doing what you're doing and stay in the now. We only worry when we think of the future and how we'll cope etc etc, and that's stupid cos the future doesn't even EXIST yet. So don't think about it, just focus on your day today, that's the only way to cope through something like this. You seem positive right now so that's great And obviously if you have a down day this website is a godsend!

 

Good luck x

[HurtStudent]

Thanks again Kelebek for all the kind and thoughtful words =)

 

"love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching" - I love this quote! I guess it's just being smarter. All the signs were there, but love does make you blind.

 

I've been focusing on today and yesterday mapped out a small outline of my future so I have something to look forward to and keep my mind off things. I've been very disciplined.

 

I've also been very serious about no contact. I sent her my last email on Saturday (very very long explaining what she put me through), and I haven't contacted her since. It's now day 5, and I've removed her from Facebook, removed her from Skype, and deleted her from msn. I think she knows now though that I did these things. She tried contacting me on Skype Monday to say she was finally finished with unpacking.

 

I haven't checked up on her or checked her facebook, so I've been very good about things. I do think about her because she is quite beautiful, and we did have a lot of good memories, and there are times when I get so sad during the day, but I've managed to press on.

 

A bunch of my friends have offered me to buy me beers if I go a week with NC, they've all been so supportive.

[HLP234]

Definitely go out with your friends as much as you can. You need to be around people at a time like this. It helps to know you have some support in people who actually care about you.

 

The best way to approach it is to not think about anything. Don't have any doubts or second guess yourself. Don't even plan a response out if you were to talk to her in the future. Moving on is tough, but also don't go looking for love. Just be yourself, do you, and it will come unexpectedly on its on.

 

I know its hard to believe but that is the way it works. No point to jump into other relationships after breaking up because it doesn't amount to anything good. It is what my ex has been doing and she may be happy now but in the end there will always be the same problems.

[Silver_star]

To heal your heart you nees laughter and you need distractions. Soon she will be a distant memory, and you will laugh and think about how gaga you were for such a mean person, it happens..dont blame yourself.

 

Go out as much as you possibly can with friends, and even make new friends...start texting old friends. That way you are always caught up in other conversations. Get caught up in someone elses drama, it really helps taking your mind off things. Good luck. You sound like a terrific guy and you deserve a girl that will treat you right.

[HurtStudent]

Thanks for the replies guys =)

 

The best way to approach it is to not think about anything. Don't have any doubts or second guess yourself. Don't even plan a response out if you were to talk to her in the future. Moving on is tough, but also don't go looking for love. Just be yourself, do you, and it will come unexpectedly on its on.

 

I know, and this has actually been very productive for me. I analysed the relationship, and even though it was a bad and borderline abusive for me- I know there's a lot of things I can change to make myself better in the future.

 

That being, I'm not very goal-orientated, slightly introverted at times (not wanting to go out) and very bad at replying to people. (I almost didn't reply to this, hah.) So, it's actually done a lot for me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the careers advisor here on university and have looked at Masters programs in different countries, I've been trying to drag myself out to various events (I've joined a bunch of different clubs on campus yesterday), and I've decided that I will always reply to people when they talk to people (I'm so bad at keeping in touch with people!) I used to write her twice a day when she was away, and it made me realize that I could put all that energy I had writing to her, and start writing for myself and really trying to update my blog.

 

Thanks for the compliment Silver_Star- my friends have all been so supportive of me =)

 

I still get sad, and I fear that sometimes I idolize her and think that I'll never be with someone like her again. And there are times where I stare at the phone wondering if I should call her, but I always manage to refrain from doing so. And I know it's going to take time for me to move on, but I have to- and this will be best in the long run. No matter how sweet she was, she did too many things to me that I can't forget.

 

Going on to day six of no contact and proud of myself. =)