Aaliyah Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Here is my situation I was in a relationship with guy #1 for 3 years. During this 3 year period we have had many bumps in our road, between him preferring to hang out with friends, disappearing at nights, meeting other woman behind my back (although I've never found out he's cheated..he has been at the very least conversing & saying he is single!..he probably has), and really being a sweet guy sometimes then this ******* all of a sudden. All I knew is he never wanted us to break up ever and if I ever left he would go to the end of the world to find me. A lot of our relationship was up and down, break up to make up. But I love him deeply through all of it. We have introduced our families to one another, he has helped me in so many ways and been there for me, and we really were head over heals in some crazy love! l finally I realized I was not getting the attention & love I deserved and the fighting became unbearable. Some how some way I shut my feelings off of him and broke it off, I just didn't feel he was giving me what I deserved. About 1 month later of being single, I met guy # 2, who from the beginning has had my mind blown, I've never met someone so sweet, so caring, so genuine and so attentive and really catering to me. We don't fight, we really have a great time together. Both him & I have decided to go back to school together, he's brought me to meet his family, let me leave my belongings at his place (I'm there every weekend) and has shown me how to trust someone and how a real relationship should be, he has also told me he loves me (we have been seeing each other for 5 months now During this time I've been seeing guy #2, guy #1 has not left me alone for one second! He has been calling me every day since the break up, sending me flowers, completely turned around his life style. He has now admitted all his wrongs, explained to me while he was trying to get his life and career in order he was very selfish and when he career was failing he was taking it out on me and now 100% is serious and is ready to do whatever and I mean whatever it takes to make us work! AND....and has now PROPOSED to me. WOW. This is what I had wanted. Here is the thing now, I cannot for the life of me make a decision. Do I go with my ex? who was playing around and now wants to be serious, he has spoken with my parents, got us a place, and is ready for me to move in and get this engagement going, he's finished school with 2 degrees from university, is a model, and really can be a good guy..less our past history. OR do I stay with guy #2 who in a short time has given me the breath of fresh air, who is an open book who dedicates himself to our relationship, he does need to go to school, and will be a struggling student, isn't as attractive as my ex, but his personality more than makes up for it (just trying to give you guys the full background). I really feel I actually love them both and am pulling my hair trying to figure out what to do! Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
Unistudent Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Do you really think that you can forget all of the crap that the first guy put you through? If you really do and you do actually love him and not just his looks/education and everything else... then I would say you should stick with him... just because you guys have 3 years of history together whereas with the second guy you have had only 5 months. You really have to think long and hard about it though... because the first guy might go back in to his old ways once you guys are settled down. The second guy seems to really care about you though... and who knows he could be the right one for you. Tough decision ahead of you... Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I'm going to tell you the same thing I recently told my ex. She was also "torn/confused" on which guy to choose. She "loves and sees herself with me forever but, cares about him"..she broke up with him after we met up the other night.. anyways.. I told her she needs to take some time to herself and make sure that she's happy with who she is before coming back to me,him or being with anyone. One month is not a lot of time to get over a 3yr relationship. In a sense guy #2 was/is your rebound. There's no guarantee that guy #1 won't go back to his old ways. In turn, guy #2 may have some serious hangups that you've not seen yet. So, take a step back from both for a bit and let your head clear. Link to post Share on other sites
XKatieX Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 From what it sounds like the baggage with you and guy #1 will just always be there. I honestly don't think people really ever change, and if they do definitely not that quickly. I think he just hates the fact that you found someone else, and is clinging on to you doing whatever it takes when really he doesn't see the reality of it all. The past is the past and he had his chance right? Unless you REALLY missed him, and wished you guys were back together when you were apart, I wouldn't take him back. #2 seems like a great guy, for me personality is everything and he treats you right. I'd really give #2 a chance and just cut the ties with #1 Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Pentel Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 [quote=XKatieX;2513825 I honestly don't think people really ever change, and if they do definitely not that quickly. i changed really fast for my ex, i still got some stuff to work, but i will get it right because i love her, Link to post Share on other sites
JDB22 Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 I am in the same predicament! except just think if both hadn't done anything wrong from the beginning! I don't know what to do either! I think you have to follow your heart but be smart about it, it isnt about looks or jobs, its about how happy you can be with that other person. hope this helps! you should let me know how it ends up! Link to post Share on other sites
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