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anyone else not looking forwards till xmas?


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i know its still over a month away and i will problalby feel difrent nearer the time

 

but as it stands seeing everything/everyone out doing there xmas shopping and lights starting to appear just makes me feel like this chrismas is going to be well crap,my parents are separated and neither of them and there new partners realy bother to much about chrismas useualy just have a bit of dinner and go to the pub,last year i was realy looking forward to it shopping for the girlfriends presents etc and just felt realy good and couldnt wait to spend chrismas with her and her family (they all liked to have a proper family chrismas etc big table and turkey the lot) and just felt realy good it was perfect infact me and my ex fell asleep watching one of the xmas movies thats on every year,i think it was home alone or somthing like that :laugh:

 

and iv just realised this year its going to consist of,getting up nip around the family,dinner and then sit here alone and board friends etc seam to go away for xmas alot

 

at this moment in time im hoping work decide to star up boxing day and il just work right throgugh to keep my mind on somthing at least

 

sorry for the depressing posts just having a bad couple of days

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I've found a positive if it doesn't go my way...

 

One less xmas present to buy....

 

shallow I know, but there IS a recession on..

 

*sigh*

 

chin up 106...

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I know exactly how you feel. I am dreading Thanksgiving AND Christmas, plus my birthday is two days before Christmas. I just want to fast-forward to January... or actually to March, past Valentine's Day.

 

It is so sad that I will not see my ex-fiance or his family at all these holidays. I've seen them every holiday for three years now. Yes, I love my family, but it's pretty much just me & my parents in this area now... the rest of our family live in different states, and my nephew is leaving for Marines boot camp next week.

 

I am afraid it is going to be a very lonely, depressing holiday, too. Since we're all adults, there's not really any gift-giving... I used to love finding unique, thoughtful presents for my fiance and now I don't even know if we'll really speak that much. We may possibly reconcile (remote chance), but right now he just wants to be "friends"... long story, but yeah I'm with you and you shouldn't feel bad because it's understandable that you'd feel this way.

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I've found a positive if it doesn't go my way...

 

One less xmas present to buy....

 

shallow I know, but there IS a recession on..

 

*sigh*

 

chin up 106...

 

 

made me smile lol!

 

i suppose that is one thing,but lets be honest whats money againsed love

 

 

and stacey i know what you mean i loved it last year searching around for her presents (ugg boots last year) i went all over the place to get them but her face when she opend the box was worth every mile and over priced penny they cost me

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made me smile lol!

 

i suppose that is one thing,but lets be honest whats money againsed love

 

 

and stacey i know what you mean i loved it last year searching around for her presents (ugg boots last year) i went all over the place to get them but her face when she opend the box was worth every mile and over priced penny they cost me

 

Not to be a total downer, but the gifts I bought my fiance are pretty much in the forefront -- a nice Fossil watch, some really nice sports-themed memorabilia to hang in his apartment. I keep wondering if he looks at those things and thinks of me. I hope he does, anyway. :)

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made me smile lol!

 

i suppose that is one thing,but lets be honest whats money againsed love

 

 

and stacey i know what you mean i loved it last year searching around for her presents (ugg boots last year) i went all over the place to get them but her face when she opend the box was worth every mile and over priced penny they cost me

 

Good, that was my intention!.. we ARE allowed smile at these times after all, I just need to keep reminding myself that though.... :confused::D:laugh:

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again i know what you mean,iv gotton her loads in the time weve been together,13ks worth infact,i wounder if she ever thinks anything of it when shes pulling on the desighner shoes or many cloths she has off me or weather they are just seen as possesions now,problalby the second one but dunno

 

i did notice on some recent facebook pictures from weekend she is still wearing the ring i got her last xmas aswell again possably just becuase it went well with her outfit rather than as somthing that means anything :S

 

 

she got me a new ipod last year and had it engraved iv always treated it with the best care and i still do becuase it reminds me of her :S maybe i should stop useing it or cover the engraving up with a case or somthing

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Well, all you folks, there is ONLY ONE way to fix this. :) Btw, stace, my birthday is one day after Christmas. :) Haha.

 

That one way is this: invite a group of very close friends over. Start volunteering. I'm spending some of my Christmas time with sick kids, other part with the elderly at a nearby home. I'm also spending some time with the family. I'm determined NOT to have a bad Christmas this year - last year was horrible. So, I'm decorating a tree at the elderly home and dressing up as a fairy elf for the kids. You all can do something like that - go skating, get out in the public, invite some friends, and STOP thinking about the ex. Be around people. That's what Christmas is about. And if you're feeling lonely, make someone else feel happy. It'll make you feel better. Trust me. :)

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Well, all you folks, there is ONLY ONE way to fix this. :) Btw, stace, my birthday is one day after Christmas. :) Haha.

 

That one way is this: invite a group of very close friends over. Start volunteering. I'm spending some of my Christmas time with sick kids, other part with the elderly at a nearby home. I'm also spending some time with the family. I'm determined NOT to have a bad Christmas this year - last year was horrible. So, I'm decorating a tree at the elderly home and dressing up as a fairy elf for the kids. You all can do something like that - go skating, get out in the public, invite some friends, and STOP thinking about the ex. Be around people. That's what Christmas is about. And if you're feeling lonely, make someone else feel happy. It'll make you feel better. Trust me. :)

 

I totally agree with you -- I already volunteer but will continue to do so, and I may go visit family somewhere else for a change of scenery. I am not resigning myself to just being miserable, but I do know I will miss the love of my life.... your positivity definitely helps though. :D

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I totally agree with you -- I already volunteer but will continue to do so, and I may go visit family somewhere else for a change of scenery. I am not resigning myself to just being miserable, but I do know I will miss the love of my life.... your positivity definitely helps though. :D

 

Well, obviously you'll miss him. Hell, I would be lying if I said I won't miss my ex. But, the important thing here is to stop thinking about them and move on with our lives. I'm a strong believer in "Everything happens for a reason". I might not know what the reason is, but some day it will become clear. :) Negative thoughts just bring you down and waste energy. Positive thoughts lift your spirits up. You know, one day, when I was feeling really down and depressed because of the break up (I was going with "I hate my life... I'm worthless... I'm this and that"), I was walking on the street and saw a homeless person just sitting there. I looked at myself - I have clothes, I have a job, I have family and friends, I have a roof over my head and yet I'm not happy because of the mere fact that I parted ways with someone?! :confused: And this person sitting here, probably doesn't have ANY of it. They don't have someone to tell them that they're loved - because really, they wouldn't be homeless if they had someone like that. So, that's how I look at it now. I remember everything I have and put myself in the worst case scenario as soon as I start feeling miserable. What is there to feel miserable about?! :confused::)

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Dark_of_the_Moon

*deep breathe* Yes. I am not looking forward to the holidays either. I don't know what I will do. The holidays are always hard for me though. My father and brother commited suicide years ago. I don't have close friends that I can share it with and with no lover either...

 

I also tell myself "everything happens for a reason" but, I wish I knew what any of those reasons are.

 

Anyway, already have myself on anti-depressants and will try to find some way to keep busy. Just a hard time to get through alone. But, I will manage, always have, so I will again now.

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*deep breathe* Yes. I am not looking forward to the holidays either. I don't know what I will do. The holidays are always hard for me though. My father and brother commited suicide years ago. I don't have close friends that I can share it with and with no lover either...

 

I also tell myself "everything happens for a reason" but, I wish I knew what any of those reasons are.

 

Anyway, already have myself on anti-depressants and will try to find some way to keep busy. Just a hard time to get through alone. But, I will manage, always have, so I will again now.

 

Do you volunteer? :)

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Yes, but I live in the country so there is not a large demand for volunteers.

 

Ah. I was going to suggest volunteering for an organization which helps people that have gone through similar things you've gone through (about father and brother committing suicide). It helps you and it helps them.

 

I would suggest just grabbing every volunteer opportunity you get and trying to get out there. Don't be home alone.

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I know how the OP feels in two different instances (one not quite the same, and the other having to do with this coming Thanksgiving).

 

The first that actually has to do with Christmas is when my Grandma died several years ago. Up until then, we would have a big christmas eve dinner at her house every year with all the cousins and everything. Well she died just before Christmas, this caused lots of family infighting as emotions were high, and not only was there no gathering of the family members (once again a tradition that I had known as an abolute for 24 years), but my father was truly depressed for the first time that I could remember. To compliment this fact, my mother had to work Christmas eve and day (nurse on a surgery recovery floor), and there was a huge snowstorm that kept me from even leaving my apartment.

 

So on Christmas eve, a time that was normally happy and fun, I was not only very depressed about my grandma dying, but I was also unable to spend any time with my family at all. Basically all alone. So I walked down the street to a bar that was open, went in intent on getting smashed, and saw an old guy sitting at a table by himself. Firguring what the hell, someone to talk to is better than no one, I bought two shots of whiskey, walked up to the guy and asked if he could use a shot and a drinking buddy. Old guy spoke very broke english, but he cracked me up and I sat and talked with him for hours and drank, and in the had a pretty good day.

 

Now to jump to more recent. This coming Thankgiving (which also happens to be my birthday). I was supposed to spend it with my ex because her family would be out of town (I was planning on spending it with her, but before she dumped me she said she was split on that and spending it with her ex's family for some damned reason, but I cease that plight). I had offered to cook, and have a dinner just for the two of us so that she would have someone to spend the day with. When I first brought up the idea she was extatic about it, and it being my Birthday also she started planning all kinds of great things we could do. So for about 2 months until she broke up with me, I had ben excited about spending Thanksgiving and my Birthday with her. So much so, that I even let my parents know that I would not make it home to spend it with them this year, so they made plans to visit my sister.

 

 

Now, after the break up, I found myself stuck with no one to spend that day with. Family will be away, and I can't go with them because I locked myself into working the day before and after Thanksgiving (thinking since I was staying where I lived, no reason not to), and all my friends will be with their families. This depressed me (still does a bit really), so I looked into one thing. I live right on Ohio State University Campus, and it seems that each year they have a huge dinner on Thanksgiving for their international students and students that can't make it home for the holiday. So I volunteered for that.

 

Now I admit it's not nearly as great as spending the day with a would be awesome partner, but it's what I have now (that and the joke from my friends that I will have my choice of international/exotic student girls), but it makes me feel better to know I have something.

 

So, even if you can't find a place to volunteer, jus make sure you find something to do on that day. You have a whole month to find a friend to spend the time with, place to go, or anything. Just don't sit around and mope on that day, because you will not feel good about it.

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I'm dreading Xmas. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick.

It'll be the first Xmas in 10 years where I don't see or speak to my ex-fiance and stepson.

 

I am dreading being alone. I'm already hating the sight of happy families in and around London.

The decorations that have already gone up in some places and shop windows. Eventually the sound of brass bands playing carols.

 

Sometimes, as I walk past these scenes, I just want to cry.

I wish I had my family back.

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Also think, this may be the best time to meet someone, People are in better spirits and voluntering may be the best way to meet people. So you can help thoes less fortunate and have fun too.

 

The hollidays will sure be hard though. I just lost my 10 year girlfriend, I guess I still felt in love ,but she didnt . I would still decorate my house, put up my tree.. ect, and most of us have people we can still visit and buy gifts for.

 

I would say too that going to church for those of us who are religious will help.

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Yes, I am dreading it. I will be on my own, I don't have kids and my family aren't close (emotionally or distance wise). I'm not a big fan of xmas (it's mostly commercial crap).

But last Xmas was awful as my ex was so ill we had to go to hospital Xmas day, I said to him last time I saw him, I didn't realise this xmas was going to be even worse than the last one :eek:

I am really quite frightened about the enforced time I will have to spend alone, as I wont be able to go to my voluntary work etc as they will be shut. I already hate sundays home alone all day, so I am dreading 2 or 3 days on the trot alone, twice-with new year as well.

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I feel the same, I was with my ex 18 years :(

 

 

I'm dreading Xmas. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick.

It'll be the first Xmas in 10 years where I don't see or speak to my ex-fiance and stepson.

 

I am dreading being alone. I'm already hating the sight of happy families in and around London.

The decorations that have already gone up in some places and shop windows. Eventually the sound of brass bands playing carols.

 

Sometimes, as I walk past these scenes, I just want to cry.

I wish I had my family back.

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I do voluntary work most days but they'll be closed 2 or 3 days :( My friends will be with their families, I don't have family to go to, well there's my parents but my dad can't be bothered to drive to see me, I don't drive.

I'm too shy to go into hospitals or care homes, I've got social phobia.

I'm just going to get through it the best way I can, head down and push through it and try not to lose my marbles :laugh:

 

 

Well, all you folks, there is ONLY ONE way to fix this. :) Btw, stace, my birthday is one day after Christmas. :) Haha.

 

That one way is this: invite a group of very close friends over. Start volunteering. I'm spending some of my Christmas time with sick kids, other part with the elderly at a nearby home. I'm also spending some time with the family. I'm determined NOT to have a bad Christmas this year - last year was horrible. So, I'm decorating a tree at the elderly home and dressing up as a fairy elf for the kids. You all can do something like that - go skating, get out in the public, invite some friends, and STOP thinking about the ex. Be around people. That's what Christmas is about. And if you're feeling lonely, make someone else feel happy. It'll make you feel better. Trust me. :)

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I think a group of us need to get together over Xmas to keep the spirit going.

 

Anyone else near London?

 

Sadly, I'm on the other side of the pond. :) But I will be with you in spirit!

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Not near London no :(

I'll be online though, probably the only one who will be.

 

 

I think a group of us need to get together over Xmas to keep the spirit going.

 

Anyone else near London?

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