Living with an ex

[2.55]

I have been on and off with my ex-fiance for the past 6.5 years. We have lived together for about 5.5.

We have a lot of issues. We have been through a lot with each other but somehow in the past we kept coming back together.

 

Right now he has no intention of being in a relationship with anyone but he is living freely like a single man. He wants his time and space alone to be with whomever he likes ... and he deserves it because he says we are not together.

 

However..

We still live together. We can't afford to move out yet.

 

Yet.. we make meals together, we sit down together, we spend loads of time together.. and we still sleep in the same bed (and we are sexual).

 

Everything is the same in that regard except he does not want to classify it as a relationship.

 

He really wants me to move on and get on with my life, see other people if I feel like it.. stop focusing on him however.. I can't get over him because I still feel things for him and he is here with me.

 

Right now we are in an awkward situation because we cannot afford to leave yet. I have no friends who's couch I can crash on and my family lives far away.

 

We were friends before to a point. We spent time cuddling and enjoying each other.. he told me that he loves me and was confused about our situation because he thought we were separating and he was starting to feel differently?

 

My emotions went totally out of control and I question him about a lot of things.. different women (he has not slept with yet, but has come close.. he seems to be interested).. I have become obsessed with wanting to know every detail about his life and he is sick of it. I am sick of feeling this way too.

 

So a relationship that was a fairly loving one (albeit totally unhealthy) went from one where he totally hates my guts. He has few things to say to me and what he does say is really cruel.

 

Where do I go from here?

I want us to at least be friends but he says I am quickly becoming his enemy.

 

I've tried focusing on other aspects of my life. Work, excersize, partying, being single, shopping.. whatever.. but none of this calms my anxiety. I find myself just questioning him more and more when I only want to be his friend.. but jealousy is driving me mad.. and it is pushing him more and more away.