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Heartbroken-idiot

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Heartbroken-idiot

I met up with my ex yesterday and went for a walk, we talked about the normal little things but then got started on the relationship, she told me a lot things about how much pain she's been through in the summer and how hard everything has been for her.

I asked if I had a chance again to which she says no, I know still loves me I can see that by the way she is, we still get along as well as we ever have but I know she won't be with me because she's scared of being hurt again, we kissed for the first time in 3 months as we left and I know she felt what I did and she still finds me beautiful.

I know that I should probably just try and move on but I can't let this girl go, so what can I do?

She still wants to hang out just not as much as before because she's scared of being hurt, I know that I wouldn't be doing anything to hurt her.

I love this girl with all my heart and I still know she loves me I can see that, god I wish things were easier.

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I know how it is to be her. I have loved a guy that has hurt me a lot, many times. It's hard when you know he's a good person and you know he loves you but he just can't stop hurting you. You have to go away sometimes but it doesn't mean you stop thinking about him and caring. The one thing that at once soothes me about and makes me feel completely sick to my stomach is the fact that I know he hurts himself even worse.

 

The best you can do is try. No matter what anybody says, that is the best any of us can do.

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Heartbroken-idiot

But how do I try now? Do I hang out with her when I can and have a great time and let her see how i am different now?

I know she's not intrested In anyone else and neither am I.

 

I'm scared, scared of giving my all and still not having her back.

Especially when she says there is no chance for us, but I know she only thinks that because of being scared of being hurt again. Which I know I won't be!

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don't promise her you won't hurt her, and MOST of all don't promise YOURSELF. Cause I get the impression you are the type of guy that takes his failures and transgressions really hard...feels really guilty and feels a lot of remorse and you feel real bad about yourself like you're just an awful no good worthless loser. Am I right? sounds just like my guy, that's why I have experience with this kind of thing.

 

don't set your expectations up to be perfect, cause no one is capable of that. And it's great that you feel such remorse, because the next best thing to not hurting someone in the first place is to feel true remorse for it and apologize, it shows that you have a good conscience and also that you genuinely care about her, and you can apologize to HER because SHE needs to hear that you really care about her wellbeing ..but you don't have to be so hard on YOURSELF for messing up, because we ALL do sometimes.

 

I just don't think it will help you at all to try to be perfect...you might just set yourself up for failure...that's too hard, for ANYBODY, not just you, you can't be superman. better to try to be better than you WERE previously and keep working on making changes day by day. I am sure if she really loves you (I bet she does) she is playing close enough attention to notice them, and it will hopefully help convince her to let you into her life again. good luck.

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Heartbroken-idiot

You are right, that's how I am, I take what I did to heart so much it kills me with how I used to be, no matter what I did I try and make up for it now.

I am sure she still loves me but I'm worried it's not enough for her to try anything again, should I just play it along as her friend, see her when I can, and hope with time she changes her opinion?

She says she doesn't want anything heavy because she can't deal with it atm.

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Heartbroken-idiot

My temper was the real issue, it started about 6 months ago when we broke up but then continued to see each other everyday and still sleep together, she knew that I loved her and I thought she still loved me but kept saying she didn't, well this went on for a few months untill June this summer where I had had enough of not being official and I went on and on at her for a few days untill she told me enough was enough I then lost my temper rather badly I scared her a lot and myself, I didn't touch her I never would but I hit myself and shouted a lot. After that we didn't speak for a month, she ignored my apologies for the month but then we started talking as friends and have been for the past two months.

I have for the past 3 months spent a lot of time working on my temper and havnt lost it since then no matter what has happened and I proud of that.

After the talk we had last night she told me that she was in love with me back then and that is why she was so hurt, I still believe now she's In love with me or we wouldn't be the way we still are.

It's just I don't know the best way to go about getting her to believing I won't hurt her and showing her I am different.

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Do you really want to meet up with her less than before??? i mean everytime i saw my ex last year i was left in pieces because i wanted more and more time that she wouldnt give to me..... In the end it ended up hurting me more and more??? To be completley honest to you i think that maybe meeting her is not a good idea.

 

She needs time to miss you so much that she wants to see you more and more and you wouldnt be giving her that if you give a little of your time !! you love her so much thats not the way to go. Make your feelings 100% clear to her then leave this alone. Best way. then if she really wants you then she knows where you are!

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Heartbroken-idiot

Well I know what you mean about giving more time and less but before we probably did spend too much time together where now I know to give more space, if I left her alone she would only think I can't handle being friends and I do believe that is the only way to get her back by showing her a little at a time she can trust and have faith in me.

It's just scarry because I'm gonna put my all into this and at the end I

might not get what I want but I do believe she is the girl that if i walk away I will think what if too for a very long time.

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Heartbroken-idiot

I just tried to hard all the time, not giving her space to do her own thing, texting her constantly, and if she didn't reply I'd ring untill she did, it drove her mad and then I couldn't stop it. I did it quite a bit when we weren't together it's only now this summer I've learned to give space and time.

Not much help now..

 

Any ideas anyone?

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I say, if she loves you, she will come around. I understand you want to know where you stand, but life is not that easy in where we get the answers we want.

 

My advice, leave her be for a bit. Let her think about you and what you're up to.

No txt'ing, unless she txt's first etc.

 

Is she can't see you're trying to work on your temper, then it becomes her issue

If you are working on yourself for her benefit, then your work won't stick.

Work on yourself for you alone

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Heartbroken-idiot

The reason I believe we should be together is because we get along great, have the same things I'm common, never a dull moment for us and don't really argue.

 

I'm trying to work on the temper for myself because I hate losing it, the feeling of not being in control, and not being able to calm down, I havnt lost it now In 3 months and it does feel great when I don't and i know before I would have done.

 

I guess I'm fighting a battle which will be hard to win but I've tried now for 6 months to get her back and I don't wanna give up when I still love her so much.

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