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I miss my boyfriend after dumping him and meeting a guy I really like. Is this normal


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Old 15th August 2009, 12:34 PM   #1
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I miss my boyfriend after dumping him and meeting a guy I really like. Is this normal

I dumped him after 3 years. College love. It wasnt working. I wasnt happy the last few months. Constant bickering.
I met a much older and better man who Im floored with. He's amazing. But after 2 months, I moved away to another college. Now instead of missing my new boyfriend, I find myself missing my ex like crazy!!

Is this normal? Is this because my new boyfriend distracted me from going through the "proper grieving process"?
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:51 PM   #2
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wish my ex was feeling the way you are? did you dump your ex for this new guy? Maybe this guy was totally distracting you from your true feelings? Have you ever considered contacting this guy again? or is that definately a no go?
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:00 PM   #3
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I dont know. I held the NC rule myself when he tried to contact me a few weeks later.
The thing is the new guy i met, I had always liked for years. He's MUCH older (im 22, he's in his 30s). Very good looking and just an incredibly mature person. Took me to amazing places before I left. I was so happy and reassured, that I hardly got to think about my ex at all. And he did mean a lot to me.

But now I find myself alone in a new place, and I thought that I'd be crying over missing my new boyfriend. I don't know if I should contact my Ex. I feel like I had to move on. But I can't explain why I feel so much love and longing for him now when I was with the other guy for over 1 month.
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:05 PM   #4
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Could this be because everyone needs to go through the "heart break" faze?
I felt so lucky, that I sort of "cheated" or "fast forwarded" my sorrow by
keeping busy and being with someone else. I hardly processed the relationship.

Is it inevitable? Does your mind/heart eventually catch up with you?
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:11 PM   #5
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it does sound like you have been so busy with this new guy that you have pushed your ex to back of your mind. When ever i do something new or exciting my ex is first person i want to tell (but i dont). If you contact him or not is it really going to change how you feel? if not then i would totally be against contacting him. Do you consider yourself happy in this relationship then you could risk losing it? You need have a long hard think of what you really want and what really makes you happy and then just ride it out.
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:12 PM   #6
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It's too hard to suddenly go cold turkey after a few years.
I tried it and failed. It catches up to you hun. Even if you're sick of him.
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:13 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubcake View Post
But now I find myself alone in a new place, and I thought that I'd be crying over missing my new boyfriend. I don't know if I should contact my Ex. I feel like I had to move on. But I can't explain why I feel so much love and longing for him now when I was with the other guy for over 1 month.
It is normal. Youre not with the new guy anymore and youre alone, thats why you miss your ex now. You have alot more memories with him and they are etched in your mind.

But under no circumstances do you call your ex, unless youre sure you plan on getting back with him. You will screw him up royally if you contact him just to saisfy your longing only. DO NOT contact him.
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:32 PM   #8
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Enjoy the new college and meet someone locally; here's the important part, after being alone for a number of months and processing your decision to break up with your ex.

IMO, it's not fair to any man you will meet if your thoughts and feelings are distracted by memories of your ex.

Tell me, when you were involved with your new beau for the short time you were together, how often did your ex pop into your mind? Sights, sounds, smells triggering thoughts and emotions? When that is over, after being alone, then you're ready
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Old 15th August 2009, 5:17 PM   #9
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sounds as if your not use to being alone.
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Old 15th August 2009, 5:40 PM   #10
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Is your ex happy and moving on better than you thought he would? If so this might explain it.
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