moo Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I made a list of things to do instead of breaking NC (go for a walk, excercise, deep breathing, meditation, etc.) 11th consecutive day that I have not tried to contact my ex. Still going strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Only thing I need to keep me going is realizing that contact will get me nowhere. Someone in another thread today mentioned how constantly contacting and smothering is just going to remind them of all the bad things about you. Only by leaving them alone and letting them miss you is there a chance that some of the good memories will pop up in their minds and maybe they will regret what they did. If they wanted to talk to you, they would get in touch. No sense trying to convince yourself "I bet they're waiting to hear from me". They aren't. Link to post Share on other sites
angelface78 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Oh yes...if u keep calling them you look unattractive! People want what they cant have...its human nature. When we dont contact them it makes them question themselves...why is she or he not calling me anymore. They are over it. I guess they are not that into me..etc etc. When you dont call even if youve looked pathetic in the past you start to redeem yourself and take on a new form in their minds. Yes the good things about you start to arise in their minds. Everybody......KEEP NC!!! ITS THE ONLY WAY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lsb Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 This is true. I dumped my ex mainly because he was smothering and clingy. Instead of giving me space he would still call me and try his hardest to make up reasons for me to call him. It felt like he was forcing himself on me. I do believe if he just gave me space things would have been better. I would have at least considered being friends and seeing him ... now I told him it is best that we stop talking. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I play my guitar. I find the best thing to do is something you NEVER did with that Ex before. Something totally yours, that you didn't share with her/him at all. Mine were: Getting my tattoos- she always stopped me before. Now that she is gone, I get my ink on! My guitar- I never had time to play it with her around. So it's all mine now. Link to post Share on other sites
trueblue72ny Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I made a list of things to do instead of breaking NC (go for a walk, excercise, deep breathing, meditation, etc.) 11th consecutive day that I have not tried to contact my ex. Still going strong. good job moo. 11 days is a lot. i am on day 5 and it has been hard but still going strong. i keep thinking its really not going to help matters by trying to contact someone who doesnt want to hear from me really. Link to post Share on other sites
NightLord1 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I play my guitar. I find the best thing to do is something you NEVER did with that Ex before. Something totally yours, that you didn't share with her/him at all. Mine were: Getting my tattoos- she always stopped me before. Now that she is gone, I get my ink on! My guitar- I never had time to play it with her around. So it's all mine now. Right on dude that is something I enjoy doing myself is playing my Ibanez. I get so absorbed in the music everything else just fades away into the background. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Right on dude that is something I enjoy doing myself is playing my Ibanez. I get so absorbed in the music everything else just fades away into the background. Rock on NL! I have an Ibanez acoustic and a BC rich electric Mockingbird. It's therapeutic. Just kind of takes you away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 good job moo. 11 days is a lot. i am on day 5 and it has been hard but still going strong. Thanks and good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Peanut9330 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I'm happy for you Moo I’m glad you’re able to focus on other things rather than trying to call him when you know it won’t do any good. I been doing NC for 2 weeks not except I'm not having any problems continuing it because I moved on and I feel great, I hope the same for you!! Link to post Share on other sites
DSM2709 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I kept the NC going for 6 days, until last night when she called me to tell me she met someone last week, and he's everything she's been looking for. Then it dawned on me early this morning, she was lying to me, this "new" guy she met last week, was someone she's been seeing since May, and I know this for a fact because back in May she left a piece of paper on a table by the phone with guy's names, numbers and where they are from, low and behold the same name she mentioned last night and where he was from matched. So I know she was full of crap, but I didn't catch it until this morning, had I remembered that while we were talking, I would have called her out on it, and called her a freakin liar. She knows how to play the game with me, and unfortunetly for me, I'm too predictable, and nieve. Man, do I have alot to learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Well done Moo!! I dont want to put a spin on your ideas, but when I broke NC yesterday, after 2.5 months of forceing myself not to break it, I realised by her reply that i dont want her anymore. Sure, I miss her, but I dont want her back, and I dont want to talk to her. So i never replied, and that's that So all im saying is, after with holding the urge for so long, and breaking it, at first i felt like crap, then i felt relieved, then i felt acceptence as she has quite obviously changed and really moved on with her new guy. Now i can cut her out for good and not have to worry about fighting myself. But if you are HAPPY in NC then please STAY NC Link to post Share on other sites
trueblue72ny Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I kept the NC going for 6 days, until last night when she called me to tell me she met someone last week, and he's everything she's been looking for. Then it dawned on me early this morning, she was lying to me, this "new" guy she met last week, was someone she's been seeing since May, and I know this for a fact because back in May she left a piece of paper on a table by the phone with guy's names, numbers and where they are from, low and behold the same name she mentioned last night and where he was from matched. So I know she was full of crap, but I didn't catch it until this morning, had I remembered that while we were talking, I would have called her out on it, and called her a freakin liar. She knows how to play the game with me, and unfortunetly for me, I'm too predictable, and nieve. Man, do I have alot to learn. sorry to hear someone was playing games with you like that dsm. that is very sneaky. and very rude of her to tell you she's found what she is looking for. its just a sign of immaturity on her behalf. and i doubt her new interest will last forever. at least you know now you can't trust her. so if you hear from her down the road i hope you will remember that. no one is an expert on relationships so i wouldnt say you have a lot to learn. after all the only way to find out about someone is to go through something with them. you wont know if they are going to burn you unless you put yourself out there. Link to post Share on other sites
carnegie Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 It's very tough to do "NC rule", not only cuz i miss her so much, and cant stop thinking about the past", but also cuz we have so many same close friends, and i meet they ( and so does she) everyday in our works. What should I do when i see her over there, be talking to my friends, and laughing with them? I wonder if NC works, cuz there're many friends around her can make her happy and laugh! Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 But if you are HAPPY in NC then please STAY NC I'm not happy doing NC but the alternative is much worse. Everytime I initiate contact with my ex to understand why he did these things to me, either he treats me like he doesn't know me or he ignores me. I do NC not because I like it, but because I have no choice. If I contact my ex, I end up in tears and have severe crying fits. For me, NC is the "lesser of the two evils." NC keeps me sane. Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
redy2 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 i have made it nc for 20 days and its been 4 weeks today since ive seen her. some days are better than others. during the week im busy at work so its easier than the weekends. weekends i normally spend all day at the pool. but i feel acomplished going this long. and gives me encouragement to keep it up because i can feel myself getting stronger as each day goes by and missing her less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 Last night- emotional set back...tears, tears, tears. But I did not contact him. did deep breathing and cried to my roommate instead. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I've been NC going strong for over 2 months now, and I am not looking back. Sure, sometimes I miss my companion of old, but that person is gone, replaced by someone I can't love, because of the changes she made. It's all good. Bigger things loom on the horizon for me. But I am glad to hear you guys are going strong. Strength in numbers! Link to post Share on other sites
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