Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 here goes.. i was with my ex 6 years and ok it wasn't perfect as no relationships are but he was a really sweet guy. i consider myself to be a pretty good judge of character btw so im just so shocked that he seems to have turned into a monster overnight, i really thought i knew him. he was always so sweet and would have done anything for me always told me he loved me blah blah blah and was just lovely with me (sure we argued at times but he was generally a good character and had a good heart) well suddenly he dumps me back in february really cruelly and just turns so nasty. it came out of the the blue for me. since then he has just changed so much. he has become really arrogant and really vulgar, he was not like this before. he has also started smoking-something he hated before. now i know people grow up, change, grow older, grow apart but it's more than that. his whole character has changed, and not even just his personality but his beliefs and things he stood for he has gone against. it's like some kind of early mid life crisis that he seems to be having. and this was a guy i knew for 6 years so i knew him VERY well. it all just seems so sudden and i don't know what triggered it. maybe he is hanging out with new people but he has just become a real sleezy nasty guy and he was not like this before. i've drifted apart from friends in the past or as teenagers iv had friends change or hang out with other people but this is more than that. everything about him is just different, it was just so sudden and he has actually turned into the type of person he used to dislike. also he went from adoring me almost putting me on a pedastal to just hating me and talking to me like some 2-bit hooker! i did nothing wrong btw, i never cheated on him, he just dumped me because he wanted to be 'one of the boys' and now he is living that lifestyle and is just a completely different person. my question is- can people ever change back? like could this be just some kind of phase? could the novelty wear off. it's like he can't actually see (or else he doesn't care) how nasty he is being. is it possible he could just wake up one day and go 'what the hell was a doing? why was i such an ass?' i'm a decent girl and i'm a good catch even if i do say so myself lol i just want him to realise that he has made a mistake but he has this whole new personality now. can he ever snap out of this and go back to how he was before? the thing is aswell because he has changed so much it has actually helped me to get over him. i wouldn't want to be with him the way he is now. i wouldn't want to go back to that.. ofcourse i miss him, but rather i miss the way he was, i hate what he has become and i don't want or love the 'new him' his vocabulary is also repulsive and his language is just so crude. he changed so suddenly, could he ever grow up, wise up and change back to how he was before? could he ever see the error of his ways? or will he just stay being an @sshole? because he changed so suddenly is it ever possible for him to change back to the sweet guy he was before (he is 24 btw so it's not like a teenage phase) Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Is he doing drugs, or has he fallen in with a bad crowd? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Is he doing drugs, or has he fallen in with a bad crowd? He hasn't become a Republican, has he? (Sorry, JB, couldn't resist.) It's possible that it's just a short-term phase, something he feels he needs to "get out of his system." But he's doing it for a reason, he's getting something out of it, otherwise he wouldn't be doing it. But regardless of whether he'll revert back to his old self or not, fact is that he's your EX. He's not your problem anymore. I know you still have feelings and all the rest, but he's a grown man (well, if 24 can be considered grown). He's got the right, and responsibility, to make his own choices. But I know it sucks to see someone you care for damage themselves in this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 i don't think it is drugs, tho it would explain things as its been so drastic. but im pretty sure it isn't drugs. i think he is hanging with a bad crowd but i don't understand why its happened now. the crowd he hangs with he has known most of them since he started a new job a year ago and yet his crazy behaviour has only began in recent months so i dunno. something has made him cocky, maybe just this new lifestyle makes him feel like the boy in the big picture Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 i don't think it is drugs, tho it would explain things as its been so drastic. but im pretty sure it isn't drugs. i think he is hanging with a bad crowd but i don't understand why its happened now. the crowd he hangs with he has known most of them since he started a new job a year ago and yet his crazy behaviour has only began in recent months so i dunno. something has made him cocky, maybe just this new lifestyle makes him feel like the boy in the big picture I don't know, hon. I mean, I don't know this guy from Adam, but if I had to bet money, it would be on him doing drugs. OR, also keep in mind, that certain mental illnesses will begin to manifest in one's early 20's, such as schizophrenia. If someone's personality has changed THAT drastically, drugs are often at the core, and if not that, then his friends are influencing him in a really profound way, or, he could be acting out from some type of mental disorder. Hard to really say, but those are my guesses. Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas X Forever Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I changed through deep understanding of psychology, a lot of determination, and a ton of introspection. I used to be selfish, a jerk, even a bit narcissistic. And God, girls loved me back then for it. I think i'll stop being nice and go back to it. No one truly likes a nice guy after so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 thinking about it he has always been abit of a sheep, very influenced by other people and follows the crowd. i'm the opposite of this and beieve in being an individual. like if his friends all think its cool to dump their gfs and party he would too, hell, if they decided to stick their heads in the fire he prob would. tho that doesn't excuse his behaviour he made the descision can't blame his friends entirely Link to post Share on other sites
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