When will it all go away, bad anxiety but depression lifting

[gorillacupcakes]

sorry it's long...

 

It's been two months to the day since we broke up, it was mutual and throughout the relationship I would sometimes think to myself how I didn't want to be with her the rest of my life. I still loved her regardless of those thoughts, and there were also times I thought I wanted to marry her. We were together for nearly 3 years and the first half was great at least.

 

The first week I was doing alright but I was also drinking quite a bit, I also hooked up with some girl I had no feelings for which was regrettable. The days seemed to fly by the first month and I hardly have any recollection, my memory seemed terrible, It was difficult to concentrate or focus on anything, and my motivation was incredibly lacking. I had a panic attack at work so I went home which resulted in me losing my job. I had problems with anxiety before the break up but never this intense, is it normal for anxiety to intensify following a break up?

 

Anyways I slipped into a pretty bad depression for the next few weeks after that, I had a hard time getting out of bed, It was difficult to eat anything, I felt as though I was going crazy and sometimes still think I am although I think that it's because of my anxiety. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me clonazapem for it which I'm not going to take considering I hate meds and don't want to experience the side effects or become addicted. He also suggested an anti-depressant but I refused that too, instead I've been taking St. Johns Wort and a bunch of daily vitamins and fish oil... it seems to be helping but it could also just be that time is healing.

 

Anyways I am no longer bed ridden from depression and I am able to get up and go to class and hang out with friends just fine, it's when I'm at home alone I feel like crap and feel as though these thoughts will never go away. I still am quite anxious out in public at times, one of my classes I can't stand to sit through for 3 hours because I find myself dwelling on the loneliness. I know I can be with other women because I have been with 3 in the last two months, I really don't want to though and I regretted each encounter afterwards to an extent. I think it makes things worse to try and be with somebody else right away actually.

 

I have plenty of things I want to do but I don't have the money right now, my student loans are exhausted and I have no income since I lost that job. I had to move back in with my parents after we broke up because the apartment was in her name so I think that's another thing that bothers me. Not having a job is definitely bothering me and I've had a few interviews this last week, I'm just afraid to get back to work because of the anxiety. I can at least concentrate better but I'm afraid I'll break down or something at a new job like I did at the one I just lost.

 

I also had a terrifying experience of not feeling real for a few days, it was after a night of heavy drinking. I honestly felt entirely disconnected from reality, it was the most surreal and frightening experience I've ever had. I decided after that I would cool down a bit with the drinking, I've had to anyways because of being broke.

 

I just need a job I think because it's not having any money to go out and have fun that depresses me more now, I mean I still miss her and we talk here and there and still want to remain friends when we are both ready. I'm just scared I won't ever feel like myself again... I can enjoy things again finally but still not 100%, and it's really hard for me to sit down and write the papers I need to for school when I'm by myself.

 

I'm just wondering if it's normal for anxiety to intensify after a break up and if it will go away in time just as it seems the depression is? Is it normal to feel this way after two months? I still feel somewhat lost but not nearly as depressed as I had been.

[Thomas X Forever]

It's very normal to feel that way after two months. VERY normal.

 

Due to you dating 3 years, it will take about a year for you to start feeling good again. And I mean a year of NO CONTACT. Change your number if you must. Completely cut him out 100000000000000000000000000%.

 

So about 10 more months from now, and you'll be on top of the world again. May take longer, may take shorter though.

[Flying Burrito]

I went through something similar after breaking things off a second time. It was my choice but it sucked the same.

 

It took me around 2-3 mos. to start truly taking part in normal life again. I went out, worked, faked it for a while, but inside was crap.

 

From experience, would advise you to lay off the St. John's wort since its a vasoconstrictor, it could very well add to your anxiety instead of removing...

 

What happened to the job? Can you take it over your boss's head? F*ck. Missing a day is a piss poor reason to get sh*tcanned.

[gorillacupcakes]

thank you for the the replies, it's really only when I'm alone I sit and dwell on what the hell I'm doing with myself and can't do much of anything. I just feel like I lost the only thing that meant anything to me and I have to find myself again. I know a job will help, and yea I don't think there is any way of getting my old job back.

 

I am in school and all but I just can't focus and do the papers I need to, I am still doing well on the tests I've taken but it's hard to get motivated to do the papers.

 

All I want to do really is get out of the house and go to the bar and play pool, or darts, go skating, just go for a walk and other things I can enjoy. This is all an improvement to how I was at first, not wanting to leave my room and all, but it's bad in a sense because I'm not doing what I need to do.

[anni1979]

Hi there! My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and I understand how hard it is to write papers right now - I had a massive one due last week!

 

I also could not sit down and write it by myself. What worked for me was to break it up into smaller parts, and do some of it at Starbucks, and the rest at a friend's house. If you have friends who are also students, get them to go to a coffeeshop with you and sit and all do homework together. And don't try to do it all at once! If you do, you'll fail and feel AWFUL. If you manage to work on it for half an hour, pat yourself on the back. Then take a break, and then try for another half an hour.

 

I handed in my paper 3 days late, but it felt so good to get it done - it was like breaking free of him a little bit more. It felt so good to know that what he did affected me, but that he wasn't going to hold me back anymore.

 

You can do it, hon. All the best.

[Circe]

Gad! I'm closing on 50 and I don't know how long it takes, myself. I was coming here to post my own thread asking the same question. If anyone here has some facts or figures on how long it takes to get over someone, please post them.

 

It's been my experience too that anxiety escalates. That's happening to me now. And you feel depressed and just in general like s--t. I am going to see if I can order some amino acids to help boost my dopamine levels for a while to get me past this.

 

Panic attacks? Yes, I went through a tough break up about 11 years ago and panic attacks were part of that for a while.

 

I went and did some reading online about how to get over someone, but it seems to me most of that advice is about having self-discipline even though you feel like screaming the whole entire time. I want to STOP feeling like screaming!

 

Just please don't think you're weird. Believe me, if I can feel like this at my age, you're SO normal.