Ilovehim Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I want to hang out with my ex because there is so much inside of me and it's eating at me. It felt SO GOOD to just let some of it out...Umm basically that is it. Obviously I dont want to make it too emotional or uncomfortable but I want to just meet up and then take it from there. 1. I KNOW this DOESN'T mean we are going to get back, I'm not looking for that. 2. I'm not emotionally unstable anymore and I KNOW I can control my emotions. 3. I feel like this is eating at me... How do I ask him to hang out? We talked a week ago but about nothing personal and sursprisingly I felt better. Holding all that anger inside sucked. You cant force someone to feel guilty. Now it's hard to know how to act when you dont know who you're dealing with anymore. And if he truly doesnt even care then I dont think I even want to know that. Anyway advice on how do I ask him to hang out without being "annoying" or "weird"? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 And if he truly doesn't even care then I don't think I even want to know that. Anyway advice on how do I ask him to hang out without being "annoying" or "weird"? Hmmm.. Well I think if you try to hang out with him and he refuses you several times, then you'll pretty much find out he doesn't care. So this is a tough spot for sure. Maybe give it some more time in between when you two last talked and then ask him to hang out. But keep whatever you want to to with him neutral and you should probably avoid going to places you once went to as a couple. Depending on where you live, I find walks are pretty neutral or going for coffee. Just keep it very simple and low pressure. The less pressure and more date-neutral the hang out is, then you shouldn't come across as needy. If he doesn't respond, then leave him alone. Don't chase after him for a response. Link to post Share on other sites
Tryng2Trust08 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 What do you want to hang out for? Do you feel you have more to tell him I think it's a bad idea....Think of yourself and your feelings, dont set yourself up to be hurt. I let all my anger out on my ex, we talked and talked about the breakup for awhile and it did nothing but hurt me. We both clearly had different views.... I wouldnt hang out with him. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I would suggest you give this more thought. When 2 people get together after a break-up there are major hurt feelings that you the dumpee is experiencing and sat with him, looking face to face all your hurt feelings will bubble to the surface and you might very well explode. Just remember, he doesn't have those "feelings" you have but when he is confronted with accusations, rehashing of what went wrong in the relationship he will in turn get confrontational and for him to take the blame off himself he will most likely hurl insults, twist what you had to say and basically, you will just feel like sh*t afterwards and nothing will be resolved and if this happens you will end up taking another big hit on your ego. He's been nasty enough to you, don't let him cause you anymore grief. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I want to hang out with my ex because there is so much inside of me and it's eating at me. It felt SO GOOD to just let some of it out...Umm basically that is it. Obviously I dont want to make it too emotional or uncomfortable but I want to just meet up and then take it from there. 1. I KNOW this DOESN'T mean we are going to get back, I'm not looking for that. 2. I'm not emotionally unstable anymore and I KNOW I can control my emotions. 3. I feel like this is eating at me... How do I ask him to hang out? We talked a week ago but about nothing personal and sursprisingly I felt better. Holding all that anger inside sucked. You cant force someone to feel guilty. Now it's hard to know how to act when you dont know who you're dealing with anymore. And if he truly doesnt even care then I dont think I even want to know that. Anyway advice on how do I ask him to hang out without being "annoying" or "weird"? Hang out as what? Friends? Come on, you need to think about this. There is nothing to be gained by trying to hang out as friends, because you really want more. It will be way too painful to meet up as 'mates'. Trust me. You are grasping at straws, if I can be so bold. And I understand it, as we want any excuse to be back in their lives. But if you honestly look at it, what you are proposing will do nothing but bring you pain. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You are grasping at straws, if I can be so bold. And I understand it, as we want any excuse to be back in their lives. But if you honestly look at it, what you are proposing will do nothing but bring you pain. I agree. What you are trying to do is backdoor your way into his life, hoping that he'll see you and change his feelings. It wont work, trust all of us - we've tried. Aside from that, it seems that youre hoping that seeing you will make him feel guilty or like he made a mistake. Again, it just wont happen. Give it 5-6 months and decide if you want to meet up. Chances are, by then, you wont. Link to post Share on other sites
7117 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 BCCA is so right no need to meet up.I have done that and wish i never have your setting yourself up for more hurt.I know it may be hard but move on.Your gonna meet somebody else and will forget all about this guy.I wish you the best with you decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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