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A story to share - Here's what ed me finally move on


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FeedingOnFever

Bleh to my title. "A story to share: Here's what helped me finally move on."

 

Hey everybody,

 

I know I haven't been here for quite a while. Life's been weighing down rather heavily and I've been meaning to put an update in here for a long time.

 

I found out something rather shocking about my ex a few weeks ago. Apparently he cheated on me and slept with another girl EARLY into our 2 and a half year relationship, then proceeded to keep it quiet and lie and say I was the only girl he had ever been with. I'm not sure when exactly this happened, but it was early enough that he might have even lied to me about also being a virgin when we slept together for the first time.

 

The first thing that popped into my head was "Holy ****, I might have an STD." We both got tested the same day (when he confessed this to me twoish weeks ago) and we are clean... but he opened me up to a risk I would have had no clue about if he hadn't told me. It took him almost 2 years to wake up and say "Oh wait, I should get tested. Duh." Seriously, wtf?

 

Then the reason he told me this: he would have said nothing if the girl he cheated with hadn't started blabbing to all my friends about her sexual exploits with him. Yep, she came up to my friends' lunch table at school and started bragging. One of my friends called me up in a semi-panic to tell me, but I gave my ex the benefit of the doubt since the girl had said it happened "a few years ago." Therefore I reasoned it could have happened before he and I dated. But nope, it was legitimate cheating. He confessed it to me later that day because he'd heard that she was spreading it and he wanted to head off the situation himself.

 

Ever since then, nothing has been the same. I expected to hate him. In fact, that's what he expected to... he told me he was shocked I hadn't cussed him out and blocked him on MSN. I was shocked too... but that's when I realized something.

 

I don't ever want him back.

 

I may not be completely healed from this mess of a breakup, and I do remember nice things about our relationship, but so much has been incurably tainted. I will never respect him and never trust him again. I can coexist with him just fine, and I've grown pleasantly civil both to him and to the other girl (not the girl from this post, but the girl he rebounded with 9 days after our breakup... I mention her in earlier posts.) I really have no strong feelings about either of them either way. I just plain don't care... not even enough to avoid them.

 

It's liberating.

 

Plus, there's a new guy in my life. Things are moving a little fast for me, so I'm going to try to slow it down a bit... but I really do like him. He's funny and energetic, spontaneous and really seems to genuinely care about me. Plus, he's a real cutie ;) I don't want to mess things up, so taking it slow is a MUST. But I'm pretty happy right now. I just want to leave all of this behind and continue moving on. And I never expected the news of this ultimate betrayal and dishonesty to be the final straw that helped me heal. Who would have imagined? But I guess it's like someone said in another of my threads... you can handle only as much as you can handle... once you reach that final breaking point, then you automatically start to heal on your own. It's an amazing process... I can't say I wish this on everyone, because everyone is different... but I hope that everyone hear finds that one piece of knowledge, deep within them, that also finally helps them to look at their ex and go "Wow. I just don't want you anymore."

 

Cheers everybody, and peace.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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FeedingOnFever

Okay, so... here we go again. The guy I was seeing got really clingy really fast... he freaked me out and I had to end it. Not going into massive detail, but let's just say that the amount of emotional attachment he had for me (all of the sudden) was equivalent to a 3-year relationship after less than 3 weeks... not good.

 

Meanwhile my ex and I had agreed to not be friends, and now he's being friendly with me again. WTF?! I'm just severely annoyed all around right now. Grrrrr.

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