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HELP, My situation is really ..... Well I could be on Jerry Springer


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Okay here is the deal my boyfriend and I were in love ect. and a state away from eachother, we are talking a two day drive. So anyways I was drunk and lonely and slept with the one person that reminded me of him, his older brother. I told my boyfriend and we didn't speak for a month, but now we talk a lot over the phone and I miss him and want him back. He calls me more than I call him and says he isn't mad at me anymore. But we aren't together and I really want him back. How do I get him to truely forgive me and believe I would never hurt him again?

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I am very sure he has already forgiven you and I'm very sure he still loves you. But you have proven to him that you cannot be trusted and that you won't think twice about hurting him by screwing his own brother. In his mind, if you'll screw his brother you'll surely do anybody else.

 

Forgiving is a lot easier than forgetting. He will never, ever forget this heinous transgression and your relationship will never be the same no matter how much either of you try to pretend it never happened. It's like a disease that goes into remission and then comes back all your life.

 

Your best bet is to enjoy his friendship but go out and find a guy you can be true to. And when you want to screw somebody on the side, for Gawd's sake don't screw the guy's brother and make sure you and the guy keep your mouths shut about it forever.

 

Wow!!!

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By sleeping with someones brother, sister, father, mother or whom ever would be the straw that breaks the monkeys back.

 

I know someone who slept with his g/f sister to ensure that he wouldn't get back together with his g/f.

 

If he accepts any apology from you and the two of you get back together. Than I just don't wanna say.

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Ok basically here's the deal....

 

If you had cheated on him with ANYONE else, it might have been different, but because it was his brother he'll nor his brother or family will EVER be able to look at you the same way again. The relationship with his brother is changed forever, and so is your relationship with both of them. There is NO hurt in terms of cheating that is worse than that. You did the absolute worse most hurtful thing you could do to him. Don't expect him to take you back, because even if you did, it would NEVER be the same...and he'll never be able to respect you or look at you the same way.

 

Learn from this and grow balls so that next time you feel lonely or insecure, you talk to your BOYFRIEND and don't deal with it by cheating.

 

You've screwed up, admit it, move on and allow it to change your life, because it has, whether you realize it now or 6 months from now. It's TOTALLY over.

 

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

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Thanks guys, your advice was everything I knew but needed reinforced. It will still take a lot of time to get past this. I still feel so guilty. It does seem that moving on would be my best option, I am really scared that I won't ever be as happy with someone else. Life goes on....

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You weren't happy to begin with. If you were, you would have never been tempted to cheat, or ever been lonely. Don't have selective memory, be fair and honest with yourself!!

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I know you said you did this while drunk and slept with the one person who reminded you of your boyfriend, his brother.

 

But this just doesn't ring true to me.

 

I'm sorry, what you did was willfully cruel to your boyfriend.

 

I just am not wired to understand how someone can do such a thing and rationalize it away by saying it was some method to satisfy a need to see one's boyfriend.

 

The way I see it you were intentionally trying to punish yor boyfriend for not being there to satisfy your needs, so "I'll show him" you slept with his brother.

 

A few drinks and a "I was lonely" is way to feeble of an excuse.

 

You need to cop to the truth, at least to yourself, if not to your boyfriend.

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Hey now, your right it was a horrible thing to do to my boy. I feel that I had my reasons but that's all they were reasons. I am not in anyway excusing what I did. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I know it was my own stupid choice no one forced me to to sleep with his brother. It will remain my biggest regret in this life.

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