He Called.

[BookGurl]

The saga continues.

 

My ex called 2 times the other day. I was very happy to hear from him, but the conversation soon turned concerning. We talked about the film he's going to be working on, and his concerns and worries. He asked me if I would assistant direct, and I told him I didn't think that would be a good idea.

 

He sounded so very depressed. I needed to get back to work, and he told me he'd call me later. He called again that night.

 

He told me that he wasn't going to do the film. That he wasn't ready. I felt terrible. He said it upset earlier in the day, that I sounded like "I never wanted things to happen for us again". I told him that -I didn't know what was going to happen, but if things were meant to work out for us, that in time they would. He cried...tried hard to hide it.

 

I'm so worried about him. He's been in a constant stream of relationships since he was 12. He doesn't have a nuturing family. I feel like I was the only one to really care for him in a while. I suggested to him something about therapy- he said he was looking into it.

 

I know you can't force someone into therapy. But, he seriously needs help. I haven't talked to him since the phone call. I just want him to feel better. I wasn't good to him--and he sat and took it 'cause he was afraid to loose me.

 

Is there anyway I can get him help? I know I'm not supposed to talk to him, and that in some ways that may be the best help...but I still care about him. And I want him to be happy-- with or without me.

 

Sigh,

J.

[Ally Boo]

That is only something he can do. You have done what you can...suggest it. He has to make the phone call...he has to drive there, he has to talk. Now, you could get therapy for yourself on how to deal with the situation, and they'd give you at least professional advice, which we can't. But in order for someone to change for the better, they have to WANT it. If the desire isn't there, then it's hopeless.

[Tony T]

It is not your responsibilty to help this guy. He is mentally unstable and you should be very grateful you are no longer with him. Suggest that he get professional counselling and that he can find sources for that in the Yellow Pages of the phone book under "psychologists."

 

Once you do that, cease all communications with him. Anybody who would turn down a job to direct a picture because you won't be there with him as his assistant is purely insane. To let a personal issue interfere with one's professional life is pathological. Finding an assistant director for his picture should be a matter of holding interviews with qualified candidates.

 

He needs help but you can't give it to him. The best thing you can do is stop talking to him, stop mailing him, stop seeing him, cease any and every form of communications with him. That way he can proceed through the healing process unimpaired and get his life back together.

 

This guy's pretty crazy and you don't need to bog your own life down with his nutty stuff. Let him deal with it, unless he is 16 years old or younger, in which case you should call his mommy and let her know what's happening.

[BookGurl]

I'm a huge advocate for therapy...been doin' it for years.

I guess I thought if went and worked on himself, he'd not only be a happier human being, but there might be a better chance for us in the future.

 

I dunno...Just talking as usual.

 

J.

[yes]

why have u been in therapy?

i have a sense that nowadays lotta people go for therapy even if there aren't any major troubles in their lives... not saying that's yr case or anything...

 

so, out of curiosity, why didja go for therapy in the first place, why do u keep going, and how does it help u?

 

-yes =)

[BookGurl]

My parents sent me to therapy as a kid- during their divorce. I guess I was a massively intense kid. Then when I was in high school I was hospitalized for depression and a whole lot of mess. I attribute therapy helping me to climb out of a very dangerous period of my life, when I was a severe threat to myself.

 

In general: I think its nice to talk to someone who is considerably objective. I tend to over-think and overwhelm myself- so it's nice to talk out my feelings/thoughts. Talking things through helps me figure out a direction. It's so much better than bottling things up inside. I find that I begin to become more depressed when I do so.

 

It's difficult work, and I'm sure it's not for everyone. It's helped me deal with difficult things in my past, and currently helps me deal with my present and future.

 

Then again...not all therapy is always sitting and talking. It's whatever helps you realese what's hurting. I think that's how I see it.

 

J.