Dont know what to do.....

[vindaloo]

I was dumped over the internet three days before going on holiday with my mates after 15 months with my girlfriend. She cheated on me (kissed) with her manager the night before, and the best reason I could get out of her was "things werent the same". Naturally I was hysterical, and also rather drunk by the end of the night, seeing as I had missed my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary to see her that day. She came over the following day to talk about it.

 

Amazingly to me, she was just as upset and as much in tears as I was, and said she still loved me and would really miss me. she kissed me, and we ended up having sex. For the rest of the time she was there, it was as if we were still together, and we were both happy, except for the occasional cry from either of us about breaking up. She was even reluctant to leave when the taxi came. When I talked to her later she said she was really confused, and didnt know what she wanted, but I later got a text saying she couldnt see things being like they were.

 

During all of this time, my life has been hell, I keep putting her feelings first, letting her go without a fight so its easier for her, warning my mates to leave her be, and its putting a massive strain on me but I cant help it. I love her more than anyone can imagine, and I'd do anything to get her back, I dream of her every night, and songs she liked make me break down in tears.

 

Ive tried to let her go, but I cant stand it anymore. Im considering meeting her when shes back from her holiday next week, and telling her everything thats been in my mind, and to get her back, but I dont know if its the right thing. A little help, anyone?

[Tony T]

If she already knows that you desire to have her back, leave her alone and let her make the next move.

 

She broke up with your for a reason. Breaking up is a pretty serious thing to do and most sane people don't take this action without giving it serious consideration.

 

If you continue to pursue her against her wishes, you will become an annoyance and an aggravation and she will grow to resent you.

 

The possibility of the two of you getting back together will be directly proportionate to the degree you are a gentleman about this and don't harass her and beg her to come back to you.

 

By itself, working to get somebody back who has announced they don't want to be with you is not very rational.

 

Do the work you need to do to heal. And if there are any behaviors of your own which contributed to the breakup, work on those. Most likely, this relationship just wasn't meant to be.

 

If she doesn't know how much you desire to make this work, then write her a letter and tell her...just don't be too pushy or too mushy....then let her take the next step.

 

Don't make this hard on her. Your future with her, as a lover or as a friend, depends on how you conduct yourself during this time.

[velvet]

Let her make the first contact. If she calls let her talk first and get everything out before you tell her about whats burning in your mind.

 

Allot of times I'll run a conversation over and over in my mind about what I'm going to say to this person and how I'm going to express myself when saying it. I think it releases allot of the emotions so that when you do finally confront the person things can be said allot better and more rational.

 

Being needy is unattractive as well as too much anger.