Jump to content

Meeting up with her.


Recommended Posts

PcPaNGELdUSTt

my ex wanted to meet up this monday, idk why and i dont really care. I debated on whether or not to go. i havnt seen her in around a month and i miss the piss out of her so i decide that i will go. as monday nears i find myself nervous, i have not eaten and i have yet to sleep tonight. i dont even know what we will say when she gets in the car. its going to be really weird. thoughts? opionions? views? anything?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea -- anoher sleepless night for me as well. At least your ex is willing to meet up -- mine of 2 1/2 yrs broke things over the phone, and despite now living walking distance from me, wanted to send me an email when our friends demanded she give me closure...

 

As for you, I would stress that ou have to be really calm the entire time. Go in there with a pessimistic mindset, and don't expect that she's there to do anything other thanbreak things off. If she decides she wants you back, make sure you tell her it's not that easy and tell her it won't work unless XXX. Be strong.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

I was thinking the same thing, i just have to play it cool. If something comes up about her wanting me back, i actually just read a quote on here that said something like "give me the power to erase you from my memory or show me im your everything." if everythings neutral and nothing sparks im going to drop her off say good bye and go nc. that is the game plan anyways.

 

as for not sleeping im tired but im not.

 

as for not eating im hungry but im not.

 

as for longing to see her i can not ****ing wait.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha -- that might be cool. If you think it'll make you look stronger, sure, why not.

 

Seriously, though, I envy your position. Your ex at least cares about you enough to talk to you like this. Just whatever you do, don't expect anything. I feel like I've been rejected by my ex 6 or 7 times over the past few months because every time I have contact with her, I expect something -- i.e. that she'll care about what I'm doing, that she'll want to at least get back together some time in the future, that she's thinking of me, etc.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

well when we dated when ever my phone went off she would be the one to grab it and text that person back saying something jokingly to them, in that case i suspect if its going off all night she will get curious and steal it there for if she does have feelings seeing txts from girls saying come see me and what not might really wrench her gut. just an idea.

 

dude it took for ever to come to this i used to ask her if i could see her tonight almost every day after we broke up. went NC for 4 days and now she wants to see me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea -- I mean after I begged my ex to see me and she said no, I did a whole month of NC, and nothing. Only when I broke NC and asked her about a friend dying did she contact me again, with a cold email saying what happened. My friends have told her they won't see her again until she gives me closure, and she asked them if she could just send me an email....might as well write me a Dear John letter. Then she finally agreed to call (should call this week supposedly), but doesn't want to see me because she's a coward who's "not really up to it." I feel like I should demand that she meet me in person, but then I risk no closure -- of course, I might be expecting something at that point.

 

 

But this thread is about you :). I think you'll be fine -- she must miss you and and maybe wants to talk things through. But I wouldn't expect anything, like I said.

 

I wish I were as calm as you about these situations :).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

I'm only being "Calm" because like everyone here i have been through alot of hell. i am ready to take the consequence of what ever happens. if she wants to be with me and will give 100% i would be ecstatic! but i also realize that if that is not what she wants then its time to go NC and let her live her life and ill live mine. either way im looking at this as a win - win. if she doesnt want to be with me then i have been through hell and im ready to let her go and stop causing myself so much pain.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember this: The opposite of love is not hate it's indifference.

 

She wants to get back with you or at the very least wants to see if you're still hung up on her. Either way this is for HER benefit only. If only to stroke her own ego. I maybe being a little harsh but from my experience when someone is done...they are done. There is no need for any meetings or conversations. Hence the indifference. When you are indifferent there is nothing to say...you just don't care therefore you don't waste your time.

 

Ex's prey on their ex's like hunters prey on the hunted. It is important that you operate from a position of STRENGTH!! Make her think YOU are over her. Make her think it doesn't really matter to you anymore. Then you will be in a better position no matter what SHE does.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just act casual and cool, don't really take much interest in what she's saying. If you want to play games, you can do that too like the idea you had earlier.

Link to post
Share on other sites

One word...Indifference! Act indifferent. If you have to pretend! Don't be rude, be indifferent.

 

I know at this point you're afraid of taking this kind of approach in fear of losing her but I assure you that in the end this is a win, win situation for you.

 

She's not asking to meet you so she can exchange recipes!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
any ideas on how to help make her think that im over her and or to prove that im back to being strong?

 

Act like the person she fell for, be witty, happy......don't talk about the relationship unless she brings it up.

I'd advise against having your female friends ring you up during it, scripted things like that rarely work out as planned. Just be relaxed as possible and you'll be fine.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The best thing you can do for yourself and the situation is to be happy and talk about you and the things you've been doing. Do not (I cannot stress it enough) do not, talk about the relationship. Be calm and light hearted. Keep your expectations low, but go in with a positive attitude. Try not to make yourself sick over it. As one of the other posters said, she's not meeting to swap recipes. Be grateful you have this opportunity.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you take anything from your posting, please remember this: be careful. You obviously still care for her greatly. Tread with caution. Inspire her to see who you are when you see her, but don't fall into your weakness.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

I drunk called her friday night around 4 30 am she didnt answer but around 1 pm she txt me and said "you called?" i went NC all weekend and didnt reply or talk to her all day sunday. Mondays here and i got a txt this morning that says "good morning" around 8 30. thats early for her so it was first thing. now what?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lucky Strike

Saturnfell is exactly right. It's hard, but try to avoid going on about the relationship, why it ended, or any begging or expressing how gutted you feel. She doesn't need to hear that, and it'll put her off wanting to see you again. Express it subtly, you don't want to make her think you don't care, but try to focus on other things, especially things you are going to do in the future, things that you could have been doing together (but don't mention that, let her work it out for herself). And most important of all, is make sure YOU decide when it's time to end the meting and go home. You'll probably notice when she starts getting fidgety, so make sure YOU then suggest it's time to go, that's an important emotional trick, not as easy one coz you'll want to drag it out as long as you possibly can, but you shouldn't. Then about ten minutes after send her simple text saying thanks for meeting, it was nice, and tell her you love her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

we didnt go last night becuase she got out of work late, we will see what tonight has in store. i have been showing interest but very little. she was never so nice is saying she couldnt go last night but can tonight "if its okay with you." she said, which really surprised me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

so we had plans to see a movie last night i get a text saying she was sorry but had to cancel again. i was not having it. i told her how pissed i was and she had made plans and so on. i get a txt that says rent us a movie and i will call you when im done running around. that got me excited because we werent just going to the movies anymore, she was coming over. 12 40 am i pick her up and we have a light conversation on the way to my house. when we get her i turn my tv on etc. while she lays down in my bed under the covers pretending as if she was cold and wanted me to lay down next to her. i eventually slowly laid down next to her. she told me she was only cuddling with me becuase she liked to cuddle with me. i was denied my first 4 kisses but she would let me come so close i could taste it. she was playing with me. finnally i rolled on top of her for a little bit and we lay in silence for a few min. when i went to ley next to her again she said no dont move and that she was comfortable. i slowly started pushing into her groin with mine and she slowly started doing the same. she called it off maybe 2 times before we kissed and were going at it. we both reciaved oral and had our session. afterwards we laid in silence trying to fall asleep i asked her when she wanted to go home and she said it didnt matter but befor emorning. i couldnt of been happier. so we sleep for a good 4 hours then i wake her up and tell her to get dressed i need to take her home. she initiated sex one more time. i initiated the first time. i then took her home and we hugged and said our good byes.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PcPaNGELdUSTt

she also told me that she was really drunk on her birthday and she told one of her freinds to get her a shirt from her room, i guess the friend grabbed one of my shirts and brought it down she said she started bawling her eyes out.(this was after about a month of not seeing her) does this girl still have feelings for me?

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...