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I broke no contact yesterday missed six year friendship prior to brief romance


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Yesterday I broke no contact it was the first time I had spoken to him in a month. I kind of figured I had enough time in a month to process my thoughts. I don't know if my situation is a bit different because the guy I was going out with I was also his friend for about six years. I missed the friendship. The romantic relationship wasn't that long anyway just a couple of months.

 

So I called his home number and I said "I don't hate you."

 

He said "Okay thanks for saying that."

 

We talked for a few minutes and then he said he would call me back.

He texted me at 8:00pm saying he would call me in half an hour. He did call and we talked for an hour and a half. We basically talked about anything and everything. We talked about the fact he is still in the closet and I am out. We talked about the fact his family basically controls his life. We talked about the fact his family wants to place him in an arranged marriage to a woman.

He next said he had to go to the washroom and he would call me back and he did. And we talked for another hour.

 

I hope I did the right thing. I realize there is no romantic future for us. Do I have feelings for him? I will be honest of course I do but the feelings are a bit less I feel. But there are feelings there. We both told each other we care for each other. I think I realized that it was the frienship I missed the most. We were friends for most of the six years prior to getting involved. I do think it was interesting though that after not talking to him for a month that after I initially made contact he called me back twice.

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I do think it was interesting though that after not talking to him for a month that after I initially made contact he called me back twice.

 

Interesting perhaps but entirely normal. You can love each other but not be compatible for a romantic relationship. If you didn't love each other as intimate friends, you wouldn't have called and he (and you) wouldn't have talked for a few hours.

 

This happens all the time for myself and my old female friend. We'll say "OK, only an hour today" when going to lunch and then, after 10 iced teas, find it's 3 hours. We just mesh together emotionally, almost like one person. It's not giddy romantic lust (don't think it's ever been) but rather an intrinsic understanding that we "get" each other and accept each other, no matter what.

 

If you feel that way with your friend, value it and consider yourself fortunate. Many people go through life never knowing that kind of connection. We've never tried the "brief romance" part because one or both of us has always been married or in a LTR. I think after nearly 25 years, it likely would feel weird, but what do I know :D

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But now I feel a bit weird. I wonder did I do the right thing? Why did I tell him that I missed him? Why did he tell me he missed me? Why did we talk for three hours yesterday? I don't know now I feel a little bit embarassed.

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