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I Regret Breaking Up With Her!


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Beyond Broken

Hello, new here. I read a lot of posts, and it looks like people have a lot of good advice. And that's what I need right now, so here goes...

 

I have been dating this woman for about a year and a half. I broke up with her on Halloween (about 5 weeks ago) she was much younger than me and I never had intetions of marrying her. A lot of things about her would annoy me. But I never spoke to her about them. I let things bottle up, and then I just exploded that night and said Get the "F" out of my life. We talked and spent time together for 2 weeks after. Trying to work it out. She really wanted me back, and I kept pushing her away. Now she is with someone else, and it is killing me. I am so messed up in the head. When I had her, I didn't want her. Now that I cant have her I want her more than ever. I contacted her to tell her that I was sorry and I wanted her back, and offered my full commitment. She said it was too late. After being without her I realized how much I really did love her. Now the pain has gotten so deep, that I can not function at all anymore. I've read books on getting over a break-up and how to get your girlfriend back..etc. And I'm doing all of the things they advise. I joined a gym, I go out with friends and family, I've applied "No Contact" for 2 weeks now. But I just cant seem to stop thinking about her. This is so hard. I cant sleep or eat or concentrate on anything... I even see a therapist, started taking a anti-depressants sleeping pills. I'm doing everything I can. But the pain and thoughts will not go away. Please help me.

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The first help you need is clearing your own head ;) .

You did not want her when you were together for 1,5 years (!) and now suddenly you remember how wonderful all was !! Ooooohhh ...

 

Just seems too ... sentimental you are ;).

 

You need no antidepressants. You need a good kick on your a** ! ;)

 

Now call her up and tell her how much you love her and tell all that from the bottom of your heart if you really feel love to her . She will feel all fake tones .Beware! And she will be back if she loves you too !

 

(but if she does not make her mind,then just stop talking of antidepressants !!!!! They may damage your sexual functions!!! :mad:and no woman will go with you !! You hear me??? )

 

 

:bunny:

 

 

God bless!

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Beyond Broken

I did tell her that I loved her dearly. But she is with someone else now...

 

 

And yes, I have noticed a decrease in my sex drive... oh no...

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Ooooh ,Damm!!!

 

Stop taking those antideppies now! They won`t help unless you want to help yourself !

 

 

She is with someone else whom she met after you in just this short while ?Then go to her place and kick her a** !! :D Ok,urs is saved!;)

 

 

God bless!

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i think you just want what you cant have. Do you really love her. If you did, why didnt you talk about her personality traits that annoyed you . As soon as she left and is with another guy..now you love her...opposed to the 1.5 year after you said get the F out my life. Im not trying to sound judgmental, but it sounds like she blew you off and now you feel bad. My Ex had every reason to dump me...and she did. As the months passed, i just accpeted it and went NC, and tried to move on. Now she is txt'ing and calling me because she is not sure what she wants now...but now i'm at a point where im not sure if i want to get back right now...maybe your ex feels the same way. You jerked her around for so long, she might be fed up. JUST MY 2 CENTS

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If the only reason you have for wanting her back is that she is with someone else and you can't have her, then I would focus on just letting her go. It is more than likely that your interest in her would diminsh again if she did come back. People want what they can't have. It's a normal reaction, but you have the responsibility to admit to yourself that you are doing this. You want her back because she moved on faster than you. In a sense, she has rejected you. It was easy for you to reject her as long as she wanted to get back together.

 

Take some time to think about your relationship with her. You said you let everything bottle up. Why? Why were you unable to communicate with her? Do you believe that you'll be able to if she came back? Do you think you've changed? Do you think she has changed?

 

Also, lay off the pills. Rejection hurts, and you have to learn to accept and deal with your feelings. Trying to hide them with drugs is irresponsible. You're not depressed. You're grieving.

 

If you truly love her, you will want her to be happy, even if that means she is with someone else. By begging, pleading, and trying to change her mind, you are just saying, "I want to have what I want. Give me what I want." This is the same message she got when you broke up with her. "I want to have what I want. Give me what I want." It's all PRESSURE. Pressure never brings people back. Give her a chance to come back on her own, because that is the only way she ever will. You can't change or control people. You can only control yourself. You are responsible for yourself and your feelings. Let her go, and begin looking at why your relationship went the way it did.

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I have been dating this woman for about a year and a half. I broke up with her on Halloween (about 5 weeks ago) she was much younger than me and I never had intetions of marrying her. A lot of things about her would annoy me. But I never spoke to her about them. I let things bottle up, and then I just exploded that night and said Get the "F" out of my life.

 

 

 

...and who told her to get the "F" out of your life ?

:mad:

 

and now you realise you loved her ? :confused:

 

very interesting ... hmmm :confused:

 

 

YOU HURT HER SO MUCH ! NOW YOU WANT HER BACK ? how old are you,baby ? :bunny:

 

 

 

 

God bless!

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i understand how you feel. Unfortunatly like the the old saying goes "you dont miss you water til the well runs dry". I think you took her for granted. 1.5 years isnt very long to "fall" out of love with someone. Uusally around the 3 or 4 year mark is when most people stop trying. i say mail her a hand written apology and a statement about how you feel. Then go Total N.C. Total. She is with another guy now. He could be just a rebound. Maybe after a month with that guys, she might realize she still loves you, and contact you again. Maybe not. But by trying to stay in her life, you are not respecting her wishes...and if you love her( love is selfless and does not look out for its own intrest), then you will do whats best for her. Which might be leaving her alone for right now. After a year and half, i doubt she can just get over her feelings about you in 2 weeks. Expect the worse, and dont hope. False hope can be like cancer, eating away at your very being, until there is nothing left but pain...if not removed.

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Beyond Broken -

 

Notice how you are feeling right now. This is how she felt when you broke up with her and wouldn't take her back. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm encouraging you to look at things from her point of view. Even if she does still have feelings for you, the fact that you broke up with her has damaged her trust in you. You no longer feel safe to her. How does she know you won't do the same thing again if she comes back? Notice again how heartbroken you are. She likely doesn't want to feel that way again. Words are cheap. Saying you are serious now means nothing. Saying you're sorry means nothing. Saying you made a mistake means nothing. The truth is demonstrating in your actions. You have to show her that you mean what you say.

 

With that being said, she is in a new relationship. You should respect that, and not try to intervene. It is no longer appropriate for you to express these feelings to her. It is disrespectful to the new relationship and the guy she is with.

 

Stick to NC. Let her have a chance to think about what you've said and give her a chance to miss you.

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Agreeing with Justletgo07 ,

 

You need to think over your further actions.

She was HURT.

She was very HURT .

Now you say you want her back .

How will she feel of you ? How much trust will she have in your words now ?

Think and act only after thinking your thoughts all over ...

 

 

Anticipation of getting hurt again once she is back is the worst feeling she may probably have .

 

 

 

God bless!

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From the girlfriend's point of view, I wouldn't sympathize one bit towards you. But as an outsider, you clearly are regretting ever letting her go. It's hard but you have to face your emotions, instead of using medication to numb the pain. You'll heal but it'll take one day at a time.

 

Of course you won't get your ex back because you're the one who screamed to her " to get the **** out of your life". If she has any self respect for herself she wouldn't put herself in that same position again.

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Beyond Broken

So, dont send her a letter? I've been workning on one for a week now...

 

I do think that the new guy is a rebound. And I know there is nothing I can do about it. I just want to apologize to her and let her know just how i really feel.

 

And I know she has been checking my myspace page lately, is this maybe a good sign?

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So, dont send her a letter? I've been workning on one for a week now...

 

I do think that the new guy is a rebound. And I know there is nothing I can do about it. I just want to apologize to her and let her know just how i really feel.

 

And I know she has been checking my myspace page lately, is this maybe a good sign?

 

Sending her letter would only show how desperate you've become. Even if the guy is a rebound, it doesn't necessarily mean that she'll want to get back with you. You're a complete mess and no women would be with someone's that's a complete wreck. Lay off the Myspaces and Facebooks, and use your spare time to help yourself let go of the past.

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Beyond Broken

How do I do that? It's so hard letting go. I'm trying to move on. Doing everything possible. But it hurts so bad. I have so much regret...

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Go on crying . You will win nothing .

 

All you can do is To Show Her That Love which she wanted from you .. (if you can only ... do not stress yourself too much showing what you are not able to give (!) and then end up taking antideppies again !!! :mad::mad:)

:)

 

 

:bunny:

 

 

 

God bless!

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you stick to NC !

 

 

Fine!Now tell me what NC means?

I am new on this forum,

and had never met this word before anywhere :o

 

 

God bless!

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I was once like you. I dated my x-finace for 6 yrs. I want what I cant have syndrome. When she is with me, I dont feel love or want her. Until when we broke up, she found someone, I was panic and angry. I beg and please to ask her to take me back but it works against me. I should leave her alone and move on. If I have to do all over again, I would do thing differently and that is NC=no contact.

 

So the more you push or beg her, the more you will push her away. Give her respects, and leave her alone. Rebound or no rebound, it makes no difference cause my ex had someone after we broke off 2 weeks later. Who know? Maybe she changes her mind, and give you another chance(highly doubt it). In the meantime, I suggest you should get yourself together and move on.

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