Tinkerbelll Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 Ok. So, I've been reflecting lately about the breakup and everything.. There are a couple of things I'd like to share with you. It's been 16 days NC so far: I just kept him in the msn (without ever IM him of course..) and I'll explain you why. I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO CONTACT HIM. I won't break NC and I'm not struggling against this. I don't feel any need to do it..the ball is his court and I'm perfectly aware of that. The matter is that I don't need to kick him off of my life, and most importantly I don't need to erase in my mind all the good times we had together. Actually, I feel good about it. About having met him, having shared great moments together, having had fantastic sex with him. I'm ok with that. I know he's not interested at all at my point of my view, and it's ok, I won't tell him anything about that. I've assumed that he's not coming back, and I'm fine with that also. But I warn you: I no longer feel anger towards him..I'm more likely experimenting loss, but somehow I like this feeling as well. I don't want to close the door: love should be a place to give, and whenever he will feel like, I 'll be there to explain him that I'm grateful we met, I'm grateful that we had those great moments together and I will wish him well. My life is going on anyway. Yes, maybe I'm just healed. Link to post Share on other sites
moonmoon Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 i wont be on completely level footing until I talk to her again. and I would be the most happy to be with her. Maybe at least partially more happy than I am right now to hear from her that she unequivocally doesnt want to work things out. Link to post Share on other sites
electriclove Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 I like your different stance on NC. I wish I had your attitude; you seem well on the road to recovery. It has also been 16 days NC for me but I still find it a daily battle not to pick up the phone and ring him I don't think I will though because I've said all I want to say, he knows how I feel. To use your expression - the ball is in his court. Every day I will him to ring me, but its never going to happen. But if he ever did ring me I don't think I could close the door on my ex either. I spent nearly 3 years of my life with this guy and he was such a massive part of it. There was a lot of love there and I don't want things to be bitter between us. It kills me sometimes if I think too much about how he remembers me. I just think he has bad memories of us, where as I still carry all the good. I wish I felt the way you do. Wish I wasn't struggling every day. I guess I'm not in the acceptance stage yet. How long have you and your ex been broken up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tinkerbelll Posted November 25, 2008 Author Share Posted November 25, 2008 Well, he's the guy I "felt in love" with when I was 8 years old! Today, I am 30 Somehow, as i told him, he was a dream that had become true.. We met again a couple of moths ago, started dating etc..But I felt that while I was getting involved day past day, he was becoming more and more distant.. I was feeling the storm on its way, but when it finally arrived I realized I was still unprepared..That afternoon, how could I forget his eyes..they told me everything in an instant, without need to say anything.. Link to post Share on other sites
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