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how can i let him go when it hurts so much


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 15th October 2008, 12:52 AM   #1
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how can i let him go when it hurts so much

the thing i want the most in the world is to get him back but i have a better chance of walking on air than that happening but i miss him, i truly am in love with him. people use that word like it's nothing but i mean it. my life feels empty without him. so my question is how do you let go when letting go brings so much pain to you? i literally get sick and can't stop crying when i imagine him out of my life. i feel better having him as a friend. it makes me feel better to tell him how i feel, than to just pretend im okay when inside im dying. because the thing with that is staying away from him does not make him want me back, it just makes him even more distant. how do you let go of someone that your heart wants to hold on to? the one person that you confided and gave your heart to? because he was not just my boyfriend, he was my best friend and simply my everything..i'm confused...because of all the pain and how i feel for him, i'm not able to think or function...it's weird...and people may think they know but unless you truly love someone and then they change and leave you, they wouldnt understand...i oon't know how to deal with this situation...i don't want to lose him completely. that would devastate me even more

Last edited by alwayssme; 15th October 2008 at 12:58 AM..
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Old 15th October 2008, 12:59 AM   #2
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the thing i want the most in the world is to get him back
Do you have a good revenge plan hatched out? Just remember the only rule is that there are no rules. All's fair in love and war.
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Old 15th October 2008, 1:07 AM   #3
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We let go when we know there is no chance of them coming back. Even a little text message from him now will have you running back. You need to let go. Letting go now will be painful now but your wounds will heal. I don't know if anyone has died of a broken heart. You're not dead yet, so go out there and mingle!
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Old 15th October 2008, 1:09 AM   #4
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I don't know if anyone has died of a broken heart.
It's more of a living death, if you know what I mean. And that's way worse than just getting it over with.
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Old 15th October 2008, 1:09 AM   #5
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I am so sorry that you are in such a pain. Always remember two things

1. No Friends - U can never be friends with him again once u have gone far in a relationship. This is the path most of us take after the break up because we are so void from inside. Him being out of the life makes us so alone that our heart agrees to any kind of contact we have with him just to have him in our life.

U guys can NEVER be friends again.... whenever you will look at him ... u will remember all the pain u have gone through and it will be worse when you will see him with another girl just because you are "friends". Please do not let ur emotions convince you to get into a deeper and longer pain just to get rid of this pain of loosing him.

2. Talk to him - if you think you are holding something back... just let it out ... who cares what will happen. The worse that could happen is u will be alone which you are anyways now. Tell him how you feel and if/ or not you are willing to give it a second chance (or whatever is in your heart). No matter what happens atleast u will never regret it ever in your life that if you would have said something he would have been with you....

Good luck
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Old 15th October 2008, 2:15 AM   #6
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Sorry to hear you are feeling this way alwayssme... I think the same thing, noone must really know how it feels to lose that someone you were deeply in love with. But there are so many heartbreak songs, stories and movies out there, surely some people out there have felt this, right? Think about the people that are together 20+ years and get divorced, I'm sure that hurts alot.

I agree with Drmnlyzr, you can't be friends at this point...maybe years from now one day when you both have moved on to other people, but not now. It's just preventing you from healing. Quote from a movie that I held on to "When you really truly love somebody, you can't just be their friend". Most people here say going NC is the best route to healing and if there's any chance to get them back, going NC will help. He needs time to miss you, not having you there all the time. Go NC for atleast a month, sort through your feelings. Write them down, feel the pain and whatever. Hang in there, others have been in your shoes and have made it through.
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Old 15th October 2008, 8:30 AM   #7
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It's more of a living death, if you know what I mean. And that's way worse than just getting it over with.

I know what you mean living death I literally feel nothing anymore no emotions no pain nothing.
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Old 15th October 2008, 10:07 AM   #8
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I am sorry

I have felt that lonliness recently. I have dated.........and have been successfull! I have gone out and had fun. You always think of "your love".......I know, i know.

You have to let some anger IN. You have to wake up and realize you were wronged and you are not some nobody loser. YOu are somebody.......you have your own life and mind and body.
You have to wake up and realize that. You can't be trapped in a pain bubble of wanting and longing?

This life, this world has infinite possibilities. Ok.....this is a pep talk, I know. You have had plenty of them I am sure. The old.........other fish in the sea baloney. Its kind of true.
You DON'T have to settle for being treated like an old shoe. You don't have to. This is your choice. You may temporarily be a victim of circumstance but...............................
Take comfort!! Alot of people are! I was!!
My ex broke be down and turned into a whiny, chasing, puppy dog!
I was pathetic, until I went NC and began to think before I acted. My actions have spoken to her! And I havn't even said anything! I have remained silent as a stone.
"WHy isn't he callnig me anymore?" "No more texts about missing me or loving me?" "WOW" "Has he gotten over me" "remember that time we..........." "I can't believe I dogged this dude so bad after he has done so much for me" or............maybe she doesn't care at all. I will not know because I am not talking to her. AWESOME. No more pain for me!! I am alive and free!!
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