alwayssme Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 my ex deleted me of his facebook and when i asked him about it, he said its better for us to not be friends on facebook...he wouldnt give me a reason why, he just said he doesnt feel comfortable with me being his friend on it....but YET he says we are friends and if i need anything i have his number...he is so rude about certain things, why would he not want me on his page? and how come he doesnt want to see mine either? i know he is probably hiding things from me and just doesnt want me on his business but then how can he say we are FRIENDS?? that is not a friend to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 He probably means the 'friends' thing in a very loose and general way. As much as it probably hurts, this is the time to just bow out gracefully and walk away. It's a complete waste of time trying to figure out people's motivations and usually even if you did get the answer, you still wouldn't fully understand. When relationships end, it is very, very hard for us to wrap our minds and hearts around it. He's probably trying to cut that tie with you because he knows that he will be guarded in what he does and says knowing you can view his page. It's just his way of keeping his privacy. Who broke off the relationship - you or him? Link to post Share on other sites
audrey_1 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 my ex deleted me of his facebook and when i asked him about it, he said its better for us to not be friends on facebook...he wouldnt give me a reason why, he just said he doesnt feel comfortable with me being his friend on it....but YET he says we are friends and if i need anything i have his number...he is so rude about certain things, why would he not want me on his page? and how come he doesnt want to see mine either? i know he is probably hiding things from me and just doesnt want me on his business but then how can he say we are FRIENDS?? that is not a friend to me... I deleted the guy I've been seeing because I don't feel comfortable with him being there. He treated me badly, and I don't think he has a right to pry into my life that easily. If he wants to be in my life, he should try harder, not be able to "log on" and get a snapshot of everything I've been up to. Did you break it off or did he? Maybe it's for the best. Do you hope for more than friends? If the answer is yes, being able to look at his page will do you more harm than good. The ex of the guy I just blocked created an account just to find him. His is the only wall she's written on. It's kind of sad. It's a website. I wish we hadn't all become so touchy and base reality on myspace and facebook. I wonder whether they've done more harm than good. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 There's no conspiracy. He's not trying to hide anything from you; what he's doing is hiding you from him. It's SOP for guys; especially if the girl broke the relation off. You cut off FB, MySpace, MSN, Yahoo, and any other online contact you may have with her. It makes it easier to get over the girl - out of sight, out of mind. He said that you two can stay friends because he's a guy, and likes to be needed. If the brown stuff hits the fan, he'll be there for you, but it's not likely he wants steady contact with you as friends. At least, not for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted October 2, 2008 Author Share Posted October 2, 2008 he broke up with me cause he is not in love anymore..so why wouldn't he want me on his page? i know he could care less about what i'm doing...i just don't understand, he is fine without me and has no feelings for him...its not like he needs NC to move on, he has already moved on..i'm pretty sure he is talking to girls and doesnt want me to be in his business...it hurts, it sucks Link to post Share on other sites
BoerumHill Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 ...it hurts, it sucks Yeah...it does. Think of it this way; it is a blessing. It does hurt, but if you could go view his page (and you would...right?), that would just be worse. Now you know you won't be tempted to see how he is doing. It's hard to see it today...but it is for the best. Here...have a good laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 he broke up with me cause he is not in love anymore..so why wouldn't he want me on his page? i know he could care less about what i'm doing...i just don't understand, he is fine without me and has no feelings for him...its not like he needs NC to move on, he has already moved on..i'm pretty sure he is talking to girls and doesnt want me to be in his business...it hurts, it sucks Bingo!!! Most new gf/bf don't want to be in a relationship with residual romantic relationships lingering about. I am sure if you moved on you wouldn't appreciate your new BF having his x's lingering. My guess is there already is someone new and he is being respectful of her feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Simplycaroline Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 he broke up with me cause he is not in love anymore..so why wouldn't he want me on his page? i know he could care less about what i'm doing...i just don't understand, he is fine without me and has no feelings for him...its not like he needs NC to move on, he has already moved on..i'm pretty sure he is talking to girls and doesnt want me to be in his business...it hurts, it sucks I can understand him not wanting to have his ex as a reminder on FB. If you are done then be done is what he is probably thinking. There is nothing to hide from you. It is not like you are together anymore. He owes you absolutely nothing so stop expecting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted October 2, 2008 Author Share Posted October 2, 2008 but then he says were friends?? and easy to say "he owes u nothing" but we were inseparable for so long...i cant believe things changed so much....and regardless he's over me, he is not dating..he just doesnt want me on his business...we still talk and are friends...i guess its time to have no contact with him at all.....starting today...i just wanna move on from him.....this situation has got me sick to my stomach literally Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 I doubt he's over you that completely. This is why he's keeping you at a distance because he's trying to move on. Relationships are always significant and no one - and I mean no one - ever walks away unscathed, unthinking, unfeeling, or unaffected. They impact us hard, whether they last forever or not. Whatever the reason is that he wants out and wants his space, you need to respect his decision. Stop dwelling on this friends thing - guys say that crap all the time, and people say things they don't mean all the time. Learn to read the signals and go with that. He merely means that he wants things to stay peaceful between the two of you - and if he's uncertain about being without you, this is his way of testing the waters. Do not underestimate the power of silence and absence. If he ever plans to come back, it will be through this method. Just remember that you were and are significant to him. And it's never over until the fat lady sings. Instead of being pessimisstic about it all, be upbeat and keep the faith. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted October 2, 2008 Author Share Posted October 2, 2008 angel, i guess ur right but the thing is he told me he is over me but its best for us to keep our distance.. (so he can COMPLETELY be even more over me) but i know he's not coming back, im just trying to move on now...as hard as it is, im trying...and im doin the NC rule even though he was my BEST FRIEND as well...its one thing losin ur boyfriend, but its even harder when that person was the one u confided in as well....but im guessin this is life and there is nothing i can do about it...im keeping my faith but not about him still having feelings for me or comin back to me, but my faith that hopefully with the help of God someday i will get over this and be content with my life...no contact is extremely hard when all u wanna do is is reach out to that person but then i know its for the best...im not even logging in on facebook...and im not checkins his page or his friends cuz all it would do is hurt me...until i get over this heartbreak...it sucks Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I doubt he's over you that completely. This is why he's keeping you at a distance because he's trying to move on. Relationships are always significant and no one - and I mean no one - ever walks away unscathed, unthinking, unfeeling, or unaffected. They impact us hard, whether they last forever or not. Whatever the reason is that he wants out and wants his space, you need to respect his decision. Stop dwelling on this friends thing - guys say that crap all the time, and people say things they don't mean all the time. Learn to read the signals and go with that. He merely means that he wants things to stay peaceful between the two of you - and if he's uncertain about being without you, this is his way of testing the waters. Do not underestimate the power of silence and absence. If he ever plans to come back, it will be through this method. Just remember that you were and are significant to him. And it's never over until the fat lady sings. Instead of being pessimisstic about it all, be upbeat and keep the faith. Excellent post Angel - it's important to remember that we aren't always the only ones who have feelings when things end, even if it is the end and we have to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 angel, i guess ur right but the thing is he told me he is over me but its best for us to keep our distance.. (so he can COMPLETELY be even more over me) but i know he's not coming back, im just trying to move on now...as hard as it is, im trying...and im doin the NC rule even though he was my BEST FRIEND as well...its one thing losin ur boyfriend, but its even harder when that person was the one u confided in as well....but im guessin this is life and there is nothing i can do about it...im keeping my faith but not about him still having feelings for me or comin back to me, but my faith that hopefully with the help of God someday i will get over this and be content with my life...no contact is extremely hard when all u wanna do is is reach out to that person but then i know its for the best...im not even logging in on facebook...and im not checkins his page or his friends cuz all it would do is hurt me...until i get over this heartbreak...it sucks I think if you feel he was your best friend, then he must haver felt the same way, too, and this isn't really as easy for him as you probably think. I don't know what happened between the two of you but I'm really sorry. It is extremely hard to let go of love, especially when that person was your dearest friend. Hugs, hon. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Excellent post Angel - it's important to remember that we aren't always the only ones who have feelings when things end, even if it is the end and we have to move on. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 my ex deleted me of his facebook... Hmmmmmmmmph... even though I hit the "Quote" button for this, I was thinking that somehow "ALERT US" seemed more suitable given the topic. Link to post Share on other sites
survivingcollege Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 angel, i guess ur right but the thing is he told me he is over me but its best for us to keep our distance.. (so he can COMPLETELY be even more over me) but i know he's not coming back, im just trying to move on now...as hard as it is, im trying...and im doin the NC rule even though he was my BEST FRIEND as well...its one thing losin ur boyfriend, but its even harder when that person was the one u confided in as well....but im guessin this is life and there is nothing i can do about it...im keeping my faith but not about him still having feelings for me or comin back to me, but my faith that hopefully with the help of God someday i will get over this and be content with my life...no contact is extremely hard when all u wanna do is is reach out to that person but then i know its for the best...im not even logging in on facebook...and im not checkins his page or his friends cuz all it would do is hurt me...until i get over this heartbreak...it sucks Facebook makes the NC rule SO GODDAMN IMPOSSIBLE. I can follow it and not talk to him, but not checking out his page is impossible for me, I'm a self declare FB-addict. And even if I am being good and not checking his page, bam, there he is on my news feed. **** technology. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Facebook makes the NC rule SO GODDAMN IMPOSSIBLE. I can follow it and not talk to him, but not checking out his page is impossible for me, I'm a self declare FB-addict. And even if I am being good and not checking his page, bam, there he is on my news feed. **** technology. If you truly want to stop torturing yourself and learning about what the ex is up to, you need to do one of two things: delete him off your friend list, or if you can't manage that, change the settings so you don't get the feeds on his life, or get any updates on him...........it's hard, but it's the only way to get over him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted October 4, 2008 Author Share Posted October 4, 2008 I think if you feel he was your best friend, then he must haver felt the same way, too, and this isn't really as easy for him as you probably think. I don't know what happened between the two of you but I'm really sorry. It is extremely hard to let go of love, especially when that person was your dearest friend. Hugs, hon. thank u angel Link to post Share on other sites
ninjaturtles Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I totally understand how you feel! You know, when my Ex broke up with me, I deleted him from facebook because I wanted to get over him. (I told him this). Well, a few months afterwards, I was was curious as to what was going on his life...I added him back but he just didnt accept the request...neither did he ignore it. I felt really hurt because it seemed as though he wanted nothing to do with me. You know, I deleted him only because he hurt me. I was hurting and wanted to move on (And he knew this). Thus, I didnt understand why he refused to accept my invite. Well, I actually took back my request (after he refused to accept or reject it- by blocking him and unblocking him). Well, some time past, my friends told me he was having a really good time in University.(He is doing a post graduate) All this time, he barely contacted me and I felt so hurt. I Kept on wondering...why doesnt he want me on his friend's list'? I felt really really sad...but you know what with time and determination I just decided to live mylife. My ex then de activated his facebook for a few months. Lo and behold, after reactivating his account, he ADDED ME! I kind of felt good. Boy, was I shocked to see his request.....I accepted him but you know what...about two months later.. I DELETED HIM AGAIN! You know why? Well, his new girlfriend had a lot of stuff written on his wall, he added a picture of both of them on...I felt sick! I could not help looking at his page and seeing all this. It made me soo sad. Hunny, count this as a blessing. Trust me, you don't NEED to see what's going on with his life. You need to focus on moving on, being happy without him. I can imagine how sad you feel, but life is full of dissapointments. People you least expect, hurt you very much. Please try as much as possible to cut off all forms of contact. He would not forget you simply because you are not friends on facebook. They say out of sight is out of mind, but they also say absence makes the heart grow fonder. My Ex added me to facebook, after totally ignoring my request when i least expected it! You know what, I felt really good deleting him, because this time he would have no idea why I did so. He would most likely think I deleted him because I want nothing to do with him. Whatever he thinks, I dont care... Hunny, please count this as blessing. He may truly want to prevent himself from getting drawn back to you, hence his deleting you. Bear in mind however, that just because he deleted you from facebook,does not mean- A) He will forget you. B) He does not remember the good times. C) He never for once missed you. Right now, he may happy, relieved about the breakup. However with time, after he has some time alone, I am positive he will think about you and miss you. He is human. It may take him some time away from you, and some dates and snogs with other girls to actually miss you. You on the other hand, should concenterate on moving on. It must be very hard loosing a friend...however I know a lot of people who have been through similar situations. They did get over it, albeit with time, determination and peace within.(i.e learning to be happy alone). Years after, most of them have happily involved with other men. Take things a day at a time. Ok? XXXXXX Link to post Share on other sites
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