jazzyjazz22 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Ok, I have posted a few times before but today, i talked to 1 of my old friends and I explained to her that I am going to be leaving my boyfriend of 17 years and that am going to get my own place. She told me I shouldn't leave. She said that things will get worse if I leave and that I should stay and continue play the game. if you not sure what the game is, I'll explain/give some backround.... love of your live,highschool sweetheart things arent perfect but you working on it, have 2 beautiful kids together, love each other.Lived together for 14 years. boyfriend cheats, lies, cheats, lies, I find out part of the truth, he gets caught, he lies some more, etc. if I go, he will still be part of my life becuase of the kids. If I stay, he will be with the OW and I have to deal with that Drama. My friend says play the game, you do your thing, He'll do his thing,(hes already doing it) and then eventually you'll both come back together. After he finds out you are reallly the one for him. Let it run it's course. Be confident and know that you are his woman no matter what.Fight for your man. I was so sure about my decision to leave the other day but now after talking to her, She is making me think, am I really making the right decision, I do love him, i just want to be happy. Please give your advise. p.s I am on an emotional rollercoaster right now..... Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I will apologize ahead of time ...your friend is an idiot You deserve so much better...if you respect yourself...walk away...why wallow in misery while your boyfriend...cheats lies...cheats lies You deserve to be LOVED and RESPECTED....if your BF can't give you that....then walk away then walk over to your friend's place and tell her never to give you advice again b/c that is horrible Link to post Share on other sites
mma_j Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Wow, your friend's advice is extreme. Take it with a grain of salt. The talking to friends and listening to their advice is more of a way to just talk out your feelings, not introduce new ideas and confuse you. That is some really horrible advice, though. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 OP, look at yourself in the mirror (literally) and answer these two questions. 1. Do you like drama in your life? Why? 2. Do you respect yourself? Why? I think that honest answers to those questions will give you perspective on how make a healthy decision for you. There is no right or wrong answer. You will follow your unique path. I know someone who was married for 20 years who followed your friend's advice. She now pushes away good men (myself included) and doesn't even really know why. She thinks it's acceptable, though not desirable, for her BF to cheat on her. <Edit: she "tolerates" it; "acceptable" is really inaccurate> She "fights" for her man. She'll likely follow this path for the rest of her life. Do you want that? Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 She told me I shouldn't leave. She said that things will get worse if I leave and that I should stay and continue play the game. No matter her motivation or agenda, which likely is coming from an honest and good intention for your well-being, the actual "advice" part is obviously coming from negative, fear-based thoughts. Maybe she feels it is what SHE would do in a similar situation, maybe she's got some (misguided) beliefs about self, life and relationships. Who knows? It might even be subconscious for her, as well. But. I much prefer your love-based approach -- do what you have to do to create a space in which you are free to pursue genuine happiness and success -- not have to pretend at it through some weird, reality TV-type "game playing". Also, to role-model for your children that it is perfectly fine and reasonable to not put up with undesirable, limiting situations. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
justaman99 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Sorry but your friend's advice is pretty poor. Why stay in a relationship with the most important piece being non-existent, trust? You don't even have a relationship. You have a partnership revolving around the kids and nothing emotionally. At least I would think the emotional aspect is gone because of his constant lying and cheating. Move out and move on with your life. It will be hard, it will be tough but down the road you'll be better off. -Just Link to post Share on other sites
borelandkaren Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 And this person is your friend, why???:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
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