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If We Broke Up, Why Does She Call/text?


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0hpenelope
Forgive me. I can only speak as a guy. But I surely don't want to get branded as sexist on LS. :)

 

Gimme opinions: is there such a thing as a mutual breakup?

 

Nah, it's alright. The beauty of LS is, there are always users who will challenge your views so you can strengthen them or you can see that they're a little wrong. I didn't know your story and from another thread that you're actively posting at at the moment, I understand better why you thought that and perhaps, why you may still think that way.

 

Mutual breakup? I have yet to meet a couple who says they had a mutual break up in which one side doesn't want to work things out whatsoever. At least from the friends I have who have gone through this mutual break up stuff, the reason why some of them agreed to is because they love their partner enough to let them go. To find their happiness, even if their happiness isn't with my friends.

 

So basically... their mutual break up is something along these thoughts: "I love him/her, I love him/her so much but if he's/she's not happy with me then we might as well break up. F**k, this hurts like hell, but I won't let him/her see how much I'm hurting." It became a mutual break up because they recognize that their partner has given up or wanted out. Do I make sense? :)

 

I'm sorry for the threadjack, sid. How are you feeling now? Any updates?

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0hpenelope
Forgive me. I can only speak as a guy. But I surely don't want to get branded as sexist on LS. :)

 

Gimme opinions: is there such a thing as a mutual breakup?

 

Nah, it's alright. The beauty of LS is, there are always users who will challenge your views so you can strengthen them or you can see that they're a little wrong. I didn't know your story and from another thread that you're actively posting at at the moment, I understand better why you thought that and perhaps, why you may still think that way. And you're not speaking as just a guy: you're speaking as a brokenhearted person. If I said "Men are all dogs" as a result of my break-up well... I can only imagine the unholy tidal wave that the male LS members will unleash upon me.

 

Mutual break-up? I have yet to meet a couple who says they had a mutual break-up in which one side doesn't want to work things out whatsoever. At least from the friends I have who have gone through this mutual break-up stuff, the reason why some of them agreed to is because they love their partner enough to let them go. To find their happiness, even if their happiness isn't with my friends.

 

So basically... their mutual break-up is something along these thoughts: "I love him/her, I love him/her so much but if he's/she's not happy with me then we might as well break up. F**k, this hurts like hell, but I won't let him/her see how much I'm hurting." It became a mutual break-up because they recognize that their partner has given up or wanted out. Do I make sense? :)

 

I'm sorry for the threadjack, sid. How are you feeling now? Any updates?

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Mutual breakup? I have yet to meet a couple who says they had a mutual break up in which one side doesn't want to work things out whatsoever.

 

So basically... their mutual break up is something along these thoughts: "I love him/her, I love him/her so much but if he's/she's not happy with me then we might as well break up. F**k, this hurts like hell, but I won't let him/her see how much I'm hurting." It became a mutual break up because they recognize that their partner has given up or wanted out. Do I make sense? :)

 

You are right. She wasn't happy. She wanted out, but she didn't explicitly say that. I wasn't happy. I didn't want out; I wanted HER to CHANGE. She wanted ME to CHANGE into an ENTIRELY different person, it seems.

 

Mutually, we said F*ck this: it should NOT be this hard.

 

You're f*cking right. I wanted to work it out, she made it clear that she didn't think that was possible.

 

But I'm not calling, begging, bugging. I have self-respect and dignity. And yeah, I'm not gonna let her see how much this hurts.

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0hpenelope
You are right. She wasn't happy. She wanted out, but she didn't explicitly say that. I wasn't happy. I didn't want out; I wanted HER to CHANGE. She wanted ME to CHANGE into an ENTIRELY different person, it seems.

 

Mutually, we said F*ck this: it should NOT be this hard.

 

You're f*cking right. I wanted to work it out, she made it clear that she didn't think that was possible.

 

But I'm not calling, begging, bugging. I have self-respect and dignity. And yeah, I'm not gonna let her see how much this hurts.

 

The underlined portion is really good to hear. I used to think that if Lawrence saw how hurt I was, he might change his mind and that he made a mistake, etc.

 

Nope. I drove him further away because he saw me as weak, with no confidence, etc. Nothing turns off anyone faster. I forgot about that.

 

I have no "closure" from him. I only gained "closure" for myself. I don't understand "closure" as others have defined it. As I've told a friend, yeah it would be nice to receive concrete answers. But the tongue of man is a deceitful thing (almost a direct quote from the Bible but not quite - and I'm sorry if I offend you by doing so, I'm not waxing religious it's just that it's very appropriate for what I am saying) and so are his actions. I've learned that people are generally not what they seem and that everyone I encounter, I shall take with a HUGE rock of salt - forget grain of salt.

 

I am at peace with myself for giving Lawrence up - but I miss him as intensely as I did when I decided to walk out on him the way he walked out on me.

 

I hope you'll find peace within yourself, too. When you're ready.

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Dumpers contact not to torment or get hopes up, they do it for purely selfish reasons. Not selfish in the evil sense but in its literal sense. They miss you so indulge themselves with your presence. That their consideration doesn't extend to how you feel is not evil in nature but it is highly inconvenient to those coming to terms with being given the arse.

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