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Okay, im struggling with NC


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becky001555

Brief overview of story;

 

-Ex broke up with me on valentines day after 2.5 years together

-Said he needed space

-I couldnt handle that and began ringing/texting/crying etc

-I found out he had already slept with 2 people after a month of us splitting up

-LOTS of harsh/angry/horrible/terrible things were said to each other

-We spent the day together before beginning NC, had a really nice time, but he says he's still not sure about us and that if we do not start NC then there will never be a chance for us at all.

-NC begins

 

 

Okay, so i have gone 3 days NC and even though its not much, im starting to struggle a bit, i go through a thought process of

 

1. maybe ill send him a message on facebook

2. no i won't, as it will make him frustrated with me

3.maybe ill text him

4. no i won't as ill be wondering all night whether he's angry with me thus being the reason for no text back

5.but what if hes with someone else, thats why ive not seen him online?

and then

6. just one more day of NC, just to see how it goes.

 

This just goes around in my head over and over, ive not cried today which is good, missing him is just so hard though, but i think if theres ever going to be a chance i have to keep up NC, i read people's posts who have gone weeks and months with NC and i just can't see me lasting that long! :(

 

how can i make thought number 6 stay?

 

Any advice much appreciated!

 

oh, P.S I am so glad i found this site, each time i feel down or i think about breaking NC i come on here and it keeps me going for that little bit longer :)

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Ugh. I remember this so well. I posted a thread about it here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t123271/

 

Becky you're not alone. It is one of the hardest things to do imho (and I've been through some crap I can tell you). NC is torture. You just got to keep breathing and be assured that if you do contact him, you're just going to be right back where you started and the pain will never get better. Sorry you're going through this.

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NC is torture. But I assume your ex knows how to get in touch with you if he wants to. What possible good could come of your contacting him now? Do you really think that will make him come back to you?

 

Did you discuss how long the NC period would be? Whether you'd be "free" to date other people?

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becky001555

Chinook, you just completely described in your original thred what seems to be my day to day life at the moment, the inbox, the crying, the wondering.... thats one of the things that is stopping me from contacting him, the fact that i don't want to be back to square one.

 

Sedona, yeh he know's how to get in touch with me if he wants too and i know that is what he will do if and when he is ready, its just so so hard at the moment, we didn't really talk about seeing other people,

we basically said to each other 'that the thought of each other being with other people is horrible' and he said that if anything happens between me and someone else then he never wants to find out as its hard.

We didn't really talk about the time period, he just speaks about having space.

 

Thanks for the replies, it helps.

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Hang in there Becky. It's tough going and you'll have up moments and down... then deeper than down. But gradually, it will get easier. What I would advise you to think about is this: above all else... everything, maintain no contact, unless he makes some serious moves towards letting you know he wants to reconcile... and I don't mean having you on a rollercoaster or trying to guess him out. Until then... take care of yourself... only you. You may find this thread useful. It is one of the most referred to threads on LS and it imho is one of the most useful.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954

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