Asperger's?

[sedgwick]

Okay, so someone on here just mentioned an ex with Asperger's, and I decided to ask if any of you have any experience with it. I have often suspected that may have been what was going on with my ex, but when I read about it, some things sound like him and some don't. I've never known anyone who had it, and obviously it's not for me to diagnose. But I am curious as to whether that may have been what was going on with him.

 

I've talked a lot on here about his music obsession, but really, when I say obsession, I mean I've never seen anybody be into ANYTHING to this degree except for maybe Rainman and toothpicks. He was very social, but his whole social life (as well as work life) revolved around music. If he was with other people, I'd say at least 80% of the time he was talking about music, if he wasn't playing it. It was this very specific style of music, too, one which happens to be very repetitive, which I find interesting. He was obsessed with this to the exclusion of bathing, eating, and sleeping.

 

He is hyper as hell. He cannot not be doing something. He drinks coffee and smokes constantly. He's often said that he's never tried speed because he knows he'd like it too much, as it would allow him to REALLY NEVER sleep.

 

He was a precocious kid, and an only child, except for a brief period at the age of five, when his mother had a baby who died several months later. He wanted to play music from pretty much birth. There are pictures of him at two years old playing guitar. (His parents subsequently spoiled him, and his mom went a little nuts. He and his mom are extremely close.)

 

As evidenced by the fact that he broke up with me for not being a fiddle player, and with another girl for not being a good enough fiddle player, and drove a third to break up with him because he'd never play music with her because he said there were better musicians...the boy has some major obsession issues. I just don't know if it's enough to qualify as Asperger's or not.

[carhill]

Did you note psycho-social characteristics (or lack thereof) of empathy, understanding or interest in others?

 

Did he engage in prolonged monologues without any regard for his listeners or interest in their reactions?

 

How was he as a lover? (if not TMI)

 

I have some symptoms, but not pervasive and focused enough to interfere with relationships markedly. Combination of stimulus response and psycho-social impediments. My wife I'm sure has been patient on more than one occasion:)

[spookie]

From what I understand (and what I've noticed in my (ex)bf) the defining characteristic is an inability to read contextual social cues, like body language, etc. I'd say there are other things that come along with Asperger's, but to really qualify, you have to literally be unable to read social cues.

[spookie]

What was your bf's childhood like? Was he incapable of making friends? My bf wasn't able to socialize with people at all until college, where he made 3 friends over 4 years (two of whom he thinks are also AS). I'm his first gf and his best friend aside from his sister, even though he's 24 and we've been dating for only 2 months (which makes it hard for me to end it with him; I don't want to damage him beyond repair).

 

The fact that your bf has had relationships and has friends makes me think he might not have AS, although it does sound like something is up with his head (but then, what is normal?). Maybe he has ADHD?

 

Is he obsessive about schedules/rituals/organizing his data? That's a telltale sign as well... many Aspies fear disturbances to their lives.

Edited February 20, 2008 by spookie