What a waste of time!

[Snap22]

Hi Guys...

 

I've been vrowsing this forum for about a month now since my BF of 4 years broke my heart. The story is quite lengthy bur here goes!...

 

I met him when I was just 14, we were great friends for fours and enjoyed some real fun times. I slowly fell in love with him as he did with me. After four years of being best friends, he asked me to be his GF and said he loved me dearly.

 

I agreed and we began a new chapter as a couple. He lived with his dad and i lived with mine (i was at college and just about to start uni, he was in and out of different jobs for quite a while).

 

My parents just didnt warm to him at all and he wasn't very welcome in my home. They couldn't really give a reason, just that something about him didnt feel right.

 

Of course I was in love with this guy and defended him until the death, me and my parents had endless rows over him and things got pretty stressful.

 

His dad wasnt happy with me staying there either (we lived 40 miles apart so I would stay only at the weekends).

 

I asked him to move in with me so we could get away from the stress and do our own thing. He agreed.

We did a house share for six months which was a nightmare! the land lady was horrid and our flat mate was mental!

 

He walked out on me once whilst we lived there, he came back within the hour and cried like a baby saying he was worried about his mum?!! Very strange as he hadn't mentioned these worries before.

Of course I took him back. We decided to rent a flat of our own because the land lady was becoming increasingly horrid.

 

We fiound a nice flat in a good area at a good price, it seemed perfect. My parents were supportive even though they weren't keen on him at all. We moved in and everythingt was fantastic for a while.

 

We moved in in July but by the September, things were beginning to change. He stopped helping me with house work, spent all the time in the pub, played computer games all weekend and was generally inconsiderate. Our sex life dwindles to nothing and I had no idea why.

 

One evening he called me from the pub, he said 'It's over I dont love you anymore!', he was with his mates when he said this so I felt utterly humiliated. He said he was going back to his dads that night. I panicked and knew it was the drink talking, so I payed £50.00 for a cab at 1am to save our relationship. Anyway, he apologised and said he didnt mean it.

 

His behaviour still didnt change over the enxt couple of months, one day I had enough and said that if he wanted to leave he should because I felt incredibly rund down and fed up. I didnt expect him to leave but he did.

This time he moved back to his dads for 5 days, we arranged to meet to discuss finances ect, we ended up back together that night, he was full apologies blah blah blah.

 

We decided that living in the flat was too much responsibility at our age so we agreed to move back to our parents and carry on with how things were before. I wasn't 100% happy about this as it felt like I was giving up my independance.

 

Anyway, he gave up his job after moving back to his dads where he continued to be a lazy, good for nothing bum for the next 2 years. I worked full time (I gave up uni to live with him), I supported our social life for these two years, bought his clothes, shampoo, underwear, food, meals our, you name it, I paid for it! I tried my best to support him through his unemployment and try to overcome the reasons why he found it so hard to get a job and hold it. I built an excellent relationship with his family and was there for him when his sister was fighting breast cancer.

 

So... November 2007, he calls me at 1am, sounding very depressed and down. He says he is sick of his unemployment situation and something needs to change. I gave him ideas of where to look and said I'd always support him in which ever avenue he wanted to go down. at the end of the call he said 'I need you loads right now'.

 

Within the week he had started a new job at a call centre, he sounded really happy to be back in work. It was great to hear him talking so positively about new friends and experienceds. I finally felt that we could look forward to 2008, go on holiday, see some sights ect ect.

 

It was a great until 2 weeks into the new job he took me to one side and mentioned about my weight (i've always been curvatious, i hadnt just piled on a tonne of weight over night!). He said that he 'didnt have a fat fetish and he would prefer me if I was slim'. I was shocked but desperate not to lose him, I agreed to diet. I was upset but was angry that he thought he could start saying these things because he had a little bit of something different in his life (his new job). He would never of dreamt of saying this if he was still jobless because I was pretty much all he had!

 

So I dieted and he commented on how good I looked, a further wo weeks went by and he woke me up one saturday afternoon (i was having a nap because i wasn't feeling to great). he walked in and said that there was something we had to talk about. I knew what was coming, it was written all over his face. He said that we were over and that he didnt love me the same anymore. I was frozen for a minute. Was this guy for real?! I stuck by him through thick and thin and now his life is back on track, he's discarding me like old rubbish?! I was devastated.

 

He asked me to collect my things and leave within the hour. I was in a right state but he still expected me to drive the 40 miles home.

 

The next few days were a blur really, he refused to answer any of my questions about why he broke up with me. He just told me to move on.

 

Within the week xmas arrived and it was the worst xmas ever! I spent all day crying in bed like a maniac looking at the xmas presents I had bought him (sad i know!).

 

We spoke again on new years day when he called me. I asked if there was someone else involved and he told me 'it's none of your business'. apart from that the conversation was quite pleasant.

 

A week after we spoke online, we talked some more about the reasons why but he was still really shady about it. I just ahd a feeling that there was more to the story. He kept denying that there was anyone else.

 

2-3 days later we spoke online again, this time I told him I believed there wasnt anyone involved and thanked him for his honesty! some time later he admitted that he was now with a girl he met at his new job! I dont know why he decided to tell me in the end, but it hurt so bad when he did admit what I already knew deep down.

 

He says they didnt sleep together when he was still with me (I dont believe him because our sex life dried up towards the end), he said it was just 'inconsequential' that they got together after we split. He did admit that she was a big factor in the decision he made.

She's already met his family, has stayed at his place, he says that they 'get on amazingly'...he wouldnt answer me when I asked if he loved her.

 

I'm just so gutted. I feel like an old t-shirt that has gone out of fashion.

Im incredibly angry at him for the heartless way he went about it.

He just doesnt seem to care at all, and every day that goes by I realise how selfish he is.

How can someone use another person when they have nothing and as soon as they have a little bit of something, they just drop you like a hot turd?!

 

Its been 6 weeks since we split and two weeks NC. I was a total mess to begin with but as each day goes by, I get a little stronger and can see things a little more clearer and understand that he is in fact a piece of sh*t from the ar*se hole of life.

 

I know this is long but thank you for reading it. Today has been one of those 'not so good days' so I thought I'd post.

[Islander]

My dear, i hope your okay. To give so much to someone and to receive only **** in return is. . .well its not good. I can't believe you gave up uni. Thats devotion. If i were you I'd get back to uni. It has always been said that starting uni is the start of a new life. I would start. I dont know what you were studing but go for it!! Something big and new to help your heart. There are guys out there who are complete users when they find a good thing. My heart goes out to you my dear.

[s_n_d]

Itll be better in time.

I know you probably hate when people say that. I sure did when people told me that time would heal all things. Its been almost three months since my breakup and time hasnt HEALED a thing but it has helped me understand things better. I still love my ex more than ever despite what hes done to me. I guess itll take a long time for me to really get over him. He was the best I ever had and I was the best he ever had. Its so heartbreaking and I know how your feeling.

Hang in there and keep coming on LS..Sometimes it helps to know that someone else is going through the same thing as you.

For the time-being, try to surround yourself with family and friends and do things that make you feel better. It really does help..Even if its only for a little while.

[Grimreaper]

duh, I know exactly what you feel.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1515004#post1515004

 

she even passed on the signs that this is what she wanted.. I know how it feels Im sorry but this is life, not everyone we meet are good at heart.