Get back or Get on with the blessing

[swl]

Now me and my x had a deep loving relationship for 5 years which has been over for about 7 years now. She had two kids from 2 previous relationships. two kids in which I come to love deeply as well as her. When we medt the girl was about 7 and the little boy had to be about 3 to 6 months.. I try to forget this because it hurts to think about them. She was with me when I lost my last remaining parent and I was with her when she lost her older brother to aids who was actually the breadwinner in the family. the brother was a drug dealer and the two fathers of the children were drug dealers as well. OK! (Note: The woman who dates the drug dealer who has kids.. Then later on in life she deals with a working man with no kids who can't match a drug dealers paper and lifestyle.. A genuine baby momma should recognize that if she truely has matured and agree's to participate in a relationship like this. So should I to some extent.) Nonetheless, this was my new family since I lost my last remaining parent. Past asside. In conversation during this 5 years she told me that she had abortions before and would never have another abortion again in her life. I'm like OK.. I don't plan on having an abortion either. Which is why I alway's took the proper steps not to ger her pregnant.

 

Working in the tech field, work comes sparingly. I did good in the mid 90's to 99 then it was contracting so work came sparingly. Nonetheless, it's still hard suplementing income from two kids that weren't mine. I did it though. they had the best I had to offer and never wanted for much. As time went on our communication broke down due to her wanting to get married and wanting me to mover where she was and vice versa. I wanted to get married but, money and communication wassn't getting any better because I'm working to pick up the pieces an only child had to deal with after his only remaining parent dies and you got a single mother of two with help from me.. which is not enough because of what she's use to with the fathers.. COME TO FIND OUT. THE BROTHER WHO GOT AIDS WAS ACTUALLY PAYING MOST OF HER BILLS. THE BABY'S FATHERS DIDN'T WORK SO THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. Needless to say our communication wasn't good enough for us to relocate. Finally we get to a point that she wanted to move here and I got paperwork for a larger apartment and looked for schools for the kids we had an all our war .. She would up going our with another dude to dinner and of all people the little boy told me about it. So to put a long story short I put the relationship on pause. We talked it out for 3 months (oh it was just dinner it was a mistake I still love you and I didn't blah blah blah). Within that time she wound up getting with another dude. I still don't feel secure within this relationship to continue on But, I lover her. She stopped seeing dude and we kept it cordial and talked on the phone so I could regain trust... I wouldn't allow her to come see me and I wouldn't go see her. So we decided to spend the holiday's together. Oddly, still something wasn't right.. Right after Thanksgiving she called me and told me she had to get an abortion by this dude.. WWWOOOOWWW!!! So I promptly threw out all of the memories we collected and tried to writer her off. Still, I let the new year come in and tried to forgiver and forget because I loved her but, we knew it would never be ther same. I knew I didn't want my life to tourn out this way so weeks turned to month we hung on loosely for a year. Long story short it takes black people a year to really break up. Worse came to worse next xmas and I had to nerve FINALLY to dead it on Xmas eve with her babies father standing in the living room (WTF was he doing there) he comes by and drops off toys for the last 5 years.. So it made it easier to break it off.. My presents made him leave after 15 minutes.. But, I admit I was tight he stayed that long.. He hadn't spent 15 minutes with his child since he was born.. Let's just say it was a very ugly break up and the cops had to come.. She sat on my lap after I broke this down to her crying.. We can't be together anymore.. This fool pulled a knife on me.. after she tried to hit me and missed I caught the punch and lead her into a wall. She finally let me leave.

 

NOW.. onto the most important part of my problem as I see it today. 7 years later. I have changed my number and tried desperately to move on with my life and then I get a call from an unavailable number. Low and behold it was her telling me that she wanted to call to see how I was doing (Bull**** between you and me). The call went like this: Within the midst of me asking her repeatedly why in the hell is she calling me and how did she get my number, she kept saying I just wanna see how you are doing. Ok so I calmed down and found out how she got my number. So she jumps in and starts on her achievements. Also telling me to relax she didn't want me any more and she finished school and got married. Being married was one of the last things she revealed in the convo. I politely said congrats and was happy because she wasn't gonna get on my nerves any more.. Again God bless you and congrats with a big smile on my face and I'm sure she could hear that I was genuinely happy. Now there's nothing but, silence on the phone when she was talking a mile a minute. So I ask is that it? Still nothing.. she say's yeah.. Ok so I hung up..

 

3 weeks later I get a hand written letter stating that she is writing as she alway's does to see how I am doing.. (YEAH RIGHT)... Letter reads.. I'm writing to see how you are doing. I still look like I'm 24 and the kids are doing well. Oh, how I wish you could talk to them and that she didn't have any more kids and that she understands if I don't wanna talk to her ever again but, if I ever feel the need to she gives me an email address. She then signs the letter I will love you alway's.. Donna

 

So I reply to the letter by email. I think it's very disrespectful to me and your husband to be contacting me. We don't have nay children or abourtions together just history please don't contact me anymore. her reply comes back under her married name email address.. I'm still crazy and to loose her email address. Mind you thisdidn't stop her from also replying in later responses that she ignored the nasty things I said and wrote pages of emails explaining where she went wrong and let me know her OLDER AIDS infested brother was slanging and using drugs and paying for the things she needed.. She's sorry she never told me and put so much pressure on me to give her money... Basically at the time we were having so much trouble.. Her brother was dying and that drug money was running out so she tried to put these demands on me.. This is her part to the all out war we had before the abortions.. JESUS.. All this ish is enough.. I have been thinking about her for years.. Don't wanna be with her don't wanna talk to her but, deeply love her. She has said I'm sorry till she's breathless.. I'm not convinces she even know's what to be sorry about.. She was my friend.. Needless to say I shut down the email address she was contacting me on and so did she. I see she tried to contact me through reunion.com

 

I now have her address and phone number.. I wanted to call and **** with her head on Christmas eve because that's when I broke up with her.. Just for some get back. What do you think?

 

This has affected me terribly. What should I do that I haven't already done.

[sedgwick]

why are you posting this offensive thing a second time???

[GlamourBabe]

What is it with people kicking people further down on this board when we are asking for advice? If you dont want to help. Dont say anything at all.

[RichC]

What did you really want to accomplish with that post?

[sedgwick]

As I posted before, my uncle died of AIDS not long ago, and I saw the devastation it wrought on our family. I take great offense to the fact that the OP posted this once, I expressed my offense at his use of the term "AIDS-infested," and he posted it again. I'm not trying to kick a person when they're down, I'm trying to ask for a little sensitivity.

[HarryR]

You are right on with your reply

[HarryR]

right when I think I have a grip on someones reality something comes along to make me ask myself ,,,,,,,,Huh?

[swl]

There's thousands of posts here Sedgwick. I don't know you or you uncle. I offered my sympathy once. If you must know the guy I'm talking about was a drug dealer and he used drugs. Why must you follow my posts if it's offensive to YOU grow up. Skip it. I don't know you or your situation and for you to pick out a line from what's written is a waste of time for you and me I'm looking for advice not to provoke your Aids sensitivity.

 

This board is for people looking for advice. Not for you to batter me for my opinion on a situation that has nothing to do with aids. So please take your sensitive self somewhere. If you must grieve for your uncle and the aids issue start your own post and stop inflicting your grieve driven opinion in my posts over a quote within me trying to explain my situation. I feel sorry for you truely I do but, keep your nose out of my business. I'm not talking to you directly or your situation in my original post.

 

I won't belittle myself to your standard. Have a happy holiday and I really hope we don't have to talk about this again.

[swl]

I familiarized myself with some of Sedgwick's post and she is a horrible disturbed woman who has been in therapy for years and apparently likes to pick on people..

 

I had to figure out what kept on drawing this woman to my posts.. Now I know.. WOW!

 

I almost thought she was a gay man.. But, she's just a disturbed woman..

[sedgwick]

From the "civility and respect" section of the LS terms of use:

 

"We expect that all community participants interact in a manner conducive to free-flowing, collaborative participation from all visitors, fostering an environment free of harassment, character attacks, and other forms of individual and group berating. We realize that all members may not share the same definitions on issues surrounding personal morality, appropriate behavior, and other sensitive topics of discussion that often appear on the site; we encourage all to voice their own opinions while refraining from criticizing other participants for the perspective they hold. Each person that posts on the forum is to be treated with the utmost respect and civility regardless of how absurd or ridiculous the opinion expressed might seem to you from your perspective.

 

Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant."

 

I responded to your post. You responded by attacking me personally. LS admin has been contacted.

Edited December 26, 2007 by sedgwick

[swl]

This chick is sick.. She comes and tries to insult me and then wants to post forum rules.. You need a role model.

 

So what you saw my post once and didn't like it.. You decide to follow another post.. All you had to do was click on any of the 9k other posts.. You are truely sick.. Get your money back from therapy because obviously it's not working.. This is a 36 year old woman.. OMG!

 

ROFLMAO!