my ex is totally cold and heartless towards me...

[missmebaby]

my ex of 9 months broke up with me a month and a half ago. it was kinda sudden because he had been acting so in love with me and talking about getting married just a week or two before he dumped me. he said that i was a really great girl to him and the only one that understood him and my family was great to him but he is not ready at all for commitment or marriage and wants to be single and free. but i didnt act crazy or sad or anything. even though it was hurting i acted like i agreed that we should break up. i think me reacting like that really surprised him and he said a lot of really mean hurtful things to me to make me feel bad and we got into a huge hateful argument. we didnt talk at all for a month.

 

i finally texted him one night and he responded back rudely. we texted each other a few more times that night then he told me to leave him alone so he could go to bed. the next morning though he called me and i didnt answer. so i called him the following evening and he was being very rude to me and saying hurtful things just like when we broke up. he was saying that he had forgotten about me and hes trying to get back with his ex girlfriend because shes so much better than me. then he said that me and my family were really good to him but i was just not the kind of girl he usually goes for and it never would of worked. just as i was about to get off the phone with him because he was being so rude to me he started asking me all about what ive been up to, if ive been on any dates, if ive slept with my ex boyfriend, etc. and he said a bunch of things about girls and his ex gf, trying to make me jealous. we ended up talking for 2 hours.

 

i havent talked to him for about 2 weeks so i called him tonight. he ignored the call and texted me right away saying "stop calling." i wrote back "stop being a jerk, i called you one time to see how you've been." well i got no response to that.

 

i just dont understand why hes treating me like this. when i ask him why he cant give me an explanation...just that theres "no reason to talk to me." we have so many good memories and we seemed to love each other very much, we were going to move in together and he used to talk about how excited he was to buy me a ring and start our life together. i dont understand how he can treat me like this. i never hear about anyone else's ex being so totally heartless and cold. especially when he was so close to my family and they were so good to him. i was very very good to him as well. i was the one who rushed to the emergency room at 7:00 in the morning when he got into a bad car accident. im the one who stayed with him the whole time, helped him pee into a bottle, wiped all the blood off his face, stayed overnight with him, took him home a couple days later to my house where i bathed him, fed him, dressed him, changed his bandages, helped him limp around, rubbed his back so he could sleep at night, and drove him to all his doctor's appointments. his parents were too busy with their jobs to even care about him, but i was with him through it all. thats how our whole relationship went. i was so nice and giving. TOO nice.

 

i didnt do anything wrong...i treated him great, no cheating, no lying. i didnt act crazy when we broke up. so WHY is he being so rude and heartless towards me???

[ninjaturtles]

This sure is a mystery!!

I am going thru a breakup myself..my ex was acting cold to me etc, and i sent him a long email reminsicing about the good times and wondering what went wrong. He texted me a few days ago saying he did not stay in conctact cos he thot it wud be harder for us to move on. bull****, he broke up with me so why should it be hard for him to move on??

Anyway, could it be someels he is seeing. I think he stil loves you, i mean u didnt do anything to him...are you sure he did not hear something bad about you? You didnt cheat or anything?

OR MAYBE his ego is hurt cos you didnt protest tohis leaving you.

Myabe he expected you to beg him or not agree with the breakup.

HE wont be asking what you've been up to if he didnt care. My ex doesnt mnind me doing whatever i want with anyone. It hurts.

Anyway it is a mystery..dont be hard on yourself, he will come out of this attitude..TRUST ME...it may take time but soon enough you would start to seem things more clearly..somethins may start to manifest . you wont always be in the dark..trust me.

NOW, dont contact him anymore and just focus on yourself, moving on ect.

get busy busy, work, uni, classes, somthing. hang out with friends, just focus on getin over him so you dont get affected by his mood swings.xxx

[ninjaturtles]

opps i just read that you didnt lie or cheat or anything.

It is a mystery..this guy knows you are a good person, i dont know what he is up to.

[Woggle]

Some people are just jerks and there is no rhyme or reason to any of it. His issues are about him and not you so don't let ot get you down too much. If you really want to be venegful towards him take solace in the fact that he will probably end up with a woman that treats him like garbage and leaves him heartbroken. You sound like a good woman and you are quite attractive so you should find somebody more worthy in no time and he will be a distant memory.

[sedgwick]

If he said he'd forgotten you and his ex is better than you, why would you care how he's doing? He doesn't deserve your energy. He doesn't deserve your communication. Let him go! I know it's easier said than done, but in the long run you'll be glad you let him see you have some degree of self-respect.

[lexi29]

To the OP, I could have written this myself. I'm in this situation right now. My ex, up until the week he broke up with me, was talking about getting married, me moving in etc. I was always good to him and I didn't think anything was wrong. I took care of his son, he told me no woman ever treated him and his son so well. Then suddenly he broke up me, said he felt tied down wasn't ready for marriage, wanted to be single and free. I did the same thing you did- even though it hurt like hell I told him he was right, that I agreed being single for awhile would be nice. Well he was outraged by this!! He ended up saying all these hurtful things- that he didn't have any fun with me, that he was glad I was gone etc. I didn't understand how he turned so cold so quickly. Well I can guess why your ex is acting like this. He probably has someone else already! I hate to tell you this not what you want to hear I'm sure but this is what happened in my situation.

 

My ex started dating someone else almost immediately but didn't tell me about it. Instead he tried to push me away by being cold and rude and heartless. I found out about her by accident. I haven't talked to him since but if I called him I imagine he would treat me the same way your ex is treating you. He has moved on and doesn't want to be reminded of you (his past) possibly because he still has some feelings for you (I mean someone can't possibly be making plans for the future with you one week and then totally hate you the next week if you haven't done anything wrong) So maybe he wants to feel he's rid of those feelings so he can fall in love with his new girlfriend. Maybe he feels guilty for being with someone else. Maybe he just doesn't want you to find out about her. I think the reason he acted so hateful toward you when you agreed to break up (and didn't throw a fit) is that even though HE wanted to move on he wanted the ego boost of you still wanting him. Now talking to you (if he has someone new already) makes his life complicated and he doesnt want that. He wants him and his new girl in this little bubble of happiness and doesn't want you (the "pesky ex" to intrude)

 

I really hope this isn't the case but what you've described is EXACTLY the way my ex behaved and like I said I could have written what you wrote myself. Almost word for word. and as I found out the reason my ex was acting that way is because he left me for someone else and didn't want me to find out.

[missmebaby]

so you think if i give it some time he will snap out of this attitude? he was never a nice person...to me he was very loving and affectionate and showed how much he cared about me. but other times he was a complete a*shole to me and treated me like crap. i describe him as the best and worst boyfriend ive ever had if you know what i mean. but to others he was a downright mean person. he was mean to his family, rude to complete strangers, and has been in over 100 fights because of his temper and because hes paranoid. basically he does not care about other people's feelings. at the end of our relationship he finally admitted to me that he has depression and is bipolar.

 

but we were very close and my family loved him, his family liked me. we spent all our time together, talked on the phone 6-7 times a day. i care about him and i worry about him and i just want to at least keep in touch. i just dont understand why he wont talk to me when i did nothing to deserve it...i treated him better than any of his other girlfriends did.

 

but i have a feeling that the whole time we were together that he wasnt over his last gf. she has supermodel good looks, and is rich. he said he messed things up with her so she left him and he was very very depressed and mad at himself. they didnt talk at all while him and i were together. no phone calls, text messages, nothing so i didnt consider her a threat. she was dating a guy who used to be his best friend so there was alot of bitterness there. but he still held her up on a pedestal like she was the best thing ever. he told me he was over her and had me now and HE always brought up the subject of us getting married and moving in together. but towards the end of our relationship she called him one night wanting to know how he had been because she heard about his car accident. i think they started talking again after that and she told him she had broken up with her boyfriend and he figured he had another chance with her so he dumped me.

 

last time i talked to him like 2 weeks ago he told me they were taking things slow and trying to get back together. i know thats what he wants but i dont know if shes interested because i saw him out one night without her, and the few days i called or texted him she wasnt with him. and he said he was making progress because he "finally got her to call him." whatever that means. it doesnt sound like she is too interested or like they are spending much time together. he could just be saying those things to make me mad or jealous. or they really could be getting back together and that is why he wont talk to me.

[joekurtz]

my ex of 9 months broke up with me a month and a half ago. it was kinda sudden because he had been acting so in love with me and talking about getting married just a week or two before he dumped me. he said that i was a really great girl to him and the only one that understood him and my family was great to him but he is not ready at all for commitment or marriage and wants to be single and free. but i didnt act crazy or sad or anything. even though it was hurting i acted like i agreed that we should break up. i think me reacting like that really surprised him and he said a lot of really mean hurtful things to me to make me feel bad and we got into a huge hateful argument. we didnt talk at all for a month.

 

i finally texted him one night and he responded back rudely. we texted each other a few more times that night then he told me to leave him alone so he could go to bed. the next morning though he called me and i didnt answer. so i called him the following evening and he was being very rude to me and saying hurtful things just like when we broke up. he was saying that he had forgotten about me and hes trying to get back with his ex girlfriend because shes so much better than me. then he said that me and my family were really good to him but i was just not the kind of girl he usually goes for and it never would of worked. just as i was about to get off the phone with him because he was being so rude to me he started asking me all about what ive been up to, if ive been on any dates, if ive slept with my ex boyfriend, etc. and he said a bunch of things about girls and his ex gf, trying to make me jealous. we ended up talking for 2 hours.

 

i havent talked to him for about 2 weeks so i called him tonight. he ignored the call and texted me right away saying "stop calling." i wrote back "stop being a jerk, i called you one time to see how you've been." well i got no response to that.

 

i just dont understand why hes treating me like this. when i ask him why he cant give me an explanation...just that theres "no reason to talk to me." we have so many good memories and we seemed to love each other very much, we were going to move in together and he used to talk about how excited he was to buy me a ring and start our life together. i dont understand how he can treat me like this. i never hear about anyone else's ex being so totally heartless and cold. especially when he was so close to my family and they were so good to him. i was very very good to him as well. i was the one who rushed to the emergency room at 7:00 in the morning when he got into a bad car accident. im the one who stayed with him the whole time, helped him pee into a bottle, wiped all the blood off his face, stayed overnight with him, took him home a couple days later to my house where i bathed him, fed him, dressed him, changed his bandages, helped him limp around, rubbed his back so he could sleep at night, and drove him to all his doctor's appointments. his parents were too busy with their jobs to even care about him, but i was with him through it all. thats how our whole relationship went. i was so nice and giving. TOO nice.

 

i didnt do anything wrong...i treated him great, no cheating, no lying. i didnt act crazy when we broke up. so WHY is he being so rude and heartless towards me???

 

 

OK then love, are you sure really want an honest answer to that question?

 

'Cause ready or not, here it comes ...

 

The reason he's behaving like he is toward you is because he's an a**hole. Plain & simple.

 

Yeah, it's an ugly word when you really think about it, so I try not to use it too often myself & save it for those to whom it REALLY applies. And this guy certainly seems like he applies.

 

He sounds like he's a spoiled, over-intitled little brat who can't be bothered with someone else or their feelings when it's not convenient for him. Or when he's not getting something out of the deal. So, as much as his behavior hurts you at the moment, you ought to be happy he's out of your life. Unless you really want to be involved with someone in a relationship where it's "all about him".

 

You seem like a nice, attractive, intelligent young lady who can do a lot better than a selfish guy like him.

[Teach28]

I agree with joekurtz. I think he sounds like a very selfish individual and if you openly admit to him treating you like crap then you should be thankful he's not in your life. I know that's not that easy- but I'm sure you can do MUCH better than that. Find someone who respects you and you're feelings.

 

I sent a rose and a note to my EX- nothing nasty just sweet and he simply said to me " Move on" I realized if I could pour my heart out like that to a guy who can treat me like dirt when I did nothing wrong- I don't want him! You deserve so much better!!

[missmebaby]

i know i deserve better. it just really hurts that he doesnt care about me at all, doesnt want to know what ive been doing, how ive been, how my family has been. when we were together he called me every few hours, wanted to see me everyday. but as soon as we break up hes totally the opposite. i dont understand how he can change so suddenly. he must have never loved me, never cared about me. was i just a rebound? i dont want to believe that 9 months with him when i thought he was in love with me, wanted to marry me, and loved spending time with me was all a lie. all the things he said to me, all the promises he made, how can he look me in the eyes and lie to me like that?

 

i dont know why ive been thinking about him so much lately. i woke up this morning and i started to picture some of the times we spent together. its so weird, it doesnt feel like it was ever real. like i can picture laying in bed with him, or kissing him, or going on vacation with him, going out to eat, holding his hand while he lay bleeding in the emergency room....and it seems like it was a dream, like it never really happened. hes like a total stranger to me now.

 

this guy seemed so obsessed with me at times that it even got annoying. i mean he just wouldnt STOP telling me how much he loved me, how lucky he was to have me, etc. wouldnt stop kissing me, wouldnt let me get off the phone with him because he loved talking to me. i dont understand how someone that acted like that towards me can not care at all about me as soon as we break up.

[lexi29]

when we were together he called me every few hours, wanted to see me everyday. but as soon as we break up hes totally the opposite. i dont understand how he can change so suddenly. he must have never loved me, never cared about me. was i just a rebound? i dont want to believe that 9 months with him when i thought he was in love with me, wanted to marry me, and loved spending time with me was all a lie. all the things he said to me, all the promises he made, how can he look me in the eyes and lie to me like that?

this guy seemed so obsessed with me at times that it even got annoying. i mean he just wouldnt STOP telling me how much he loved me, how lucky he was to have me, etc. wouldnt stop kissing me, wouldnt let me get off the phone with him because he loved talking to me. i dont understand how someone that acted like that towards me can not care at all about me as soon as we break up.

 

 

Missmebaby, I think we were dating the same guy!! Everything you just said in this paragraph above described my bf of 3 years perfectly. Up until two weeks before he left me, he was telling me he wanted to get engaged, he called me so much it was annoying, he complimented me and told me that this (our relationship) was what he'd always wanted so many times that I became immune to hearing it.

 

It was like one day everything was perfect and the next day he hated me, couldn't wait to get my stuff out of his house, said terrible things to me. Acted like I never existed. It hurt. Still does. He too has someone else now. Jumped right out of our relationship and replaced me. Part of me hates him but the other part of me still loves him, still thinks of all the good times we had.

 

I dont' think you were a rebound- rebounds don't last nine months. I think from what you described that your bf really did love you. i think he has all these bad feelings toward you because he's trying to justify leaving you (I mean obviously he had a lot of GOOD feelings for you or he wouldn't have wasted his time telling you how much you meant to him and getting to the point of annoying you with all of his attention. I mean guess guys don't put in that much effort for nothing.

 

I don't know if you've talked to your ex lately but I found out with mine-if you ignore him and act like you dont; care he comes around and stops hating you and starts remembering the good times. I was in no contact with him for a week (felt like six months!!) and the last time I talked to him he was so cruel to me. So cold. Told me to lose his number and never talk to him again. said I could never see his son again.

 

Well yesterday (after a week of no contact) he called me and said he just called to say hi and see how I was and that he wasnt' mad at me, that i can see his son anytime I want and that him and his new girlfriend are doing good but that he had been thinking about me a lot lately. I asked him why and he said because we had good times and were together for 3 years.

 

So maybe if you just ignore your ex for awhile and give him space and don't intitiate any contact then he will realize he misses you and contact you.

[nemo28]

I hoped that would happen me, that by not contacting him he would come back.. my ex b/f suddenly stopped talking to me 6 months ago and i haven't heard from him since. i see him and say hi and he looks the other way.

some guys are just heartless $hits.

[BlueEyedSarah]

I think for your ex to be asking if you are dating and going after your ex shows he is jealous and hurt still over the break up.

 

In my opinion I think you should stop calling him and stop talking to him, he told you to do so. I think he is just acting like this because he is still upset about the break up.

[Girl Gromit]

WHY do so many women spend precious of our few days here on earth trying to make a cactus into a violet?!

 

Get over him NOW by redirecting your attention and time and thoughts. He is CRAP and not worthy of you. If he can treat you badly, lie to you, deny you the best parts of him, and purposely hurt you, he does NOT DESERVE you, or your thoughts or time.

 

You cannot figure him out, because you're not LIKE him! You are not of his species of jerk. PLEASE, starting NOW, use your energy, your days, your thoughts, being open to finding someone who will take your love and give it back to you in return.

 

Your days on earth are numbered, hon (AND ALL OF YOU!!), PLEASE use them wisely! Learn from this and keep your self and your love for someone who will not wound you in return for it.

[luveno]

There is nothing wrong with your ex. He did not want to settle down. He is young, and the world is out there.

 

He does not want to talk to you because your relationship is over.

 

Most independent men do not like to associate with their ex-lovers, because it does not add anything to their life. It usually only adds drama and needless bickering.

 

So just leave the guy alone. He doesn't want to talk to you.

[fabulousgal]

There is nothing wrong with your ex. He did not want to settle down. He is young, and the world is out there.

 

He does not want to talk to you because your relationship is over.

 

Most independent men do not like to associate with their ex-lovers, because it does not add anything to their life. It usually only adds drama and needless bickering.

 

So just leave the guy alone. He doesn't want to talk to you.

 

Actually her ex sounds like an immature piece of crap.

 

He dumped, then dismissed, and is being just downright mean to her.

 

I agree to leave him alone, but he gets no points for supposedly being "independent".

 

If you read her post, he's initiated some of the contact himself. He just sounds like a jackass. Sorry you have to deal with such a person.

[Spinderella]

It sounds as though perhaps he didnt feel he deserved you or something, maybe like he couldnt return all that everyone had done for him. So he dumped you and your reaction confirmed for him that he wasnt worthy.

 

Its only my observation based on a few posts you wrote.

Even if it were the case, he has to be pretty immature to not be able to see outside of himself.

Perhaps he is just a ba***** like others have suggested.

 

The bright side is. He's making it easy for you to get over him. You might not feel like that yet though.

[Oregon Blackberry]

I don't understand why you bother with this guy. NO contact! He doesn't want you in his life, he wants to move on, you should, too! Some things are just not meant to be, it just wan't meant to be with you guys. Nine months after the breakup, he is probably dating other women and doesn't want you in his life, it is not NORMAL to keep contact with you, or you with him, just move on and get real!

[ninjaturtles]

Im sorry, but in reference to the person who said 'there is nothing wrong with your ex etc, i totally disagree with you.

 

When dumping someone, if you have a heart, you should be sensitive..its like tellin someone about the death of a loved one. Wouldnt if be harsh to say to the person..' Mr a is dead, get over it'!!..and then treat the person like crap.

 

Fine, i know some women give guys tough times when it comes to breakups, some women become psychos and go crazy, but this is clearly not the case! The lady who started this thread clearly stated that she DID NOT act vrazy after the break up.

 

Let me tell you something, the way i was treated after breakups, made me realise the guys who were jerks and those who were not.

 

Note i am not saying her ex should be calling her all the time. cos they both have to move on, via NC..making a CLEAN break.

What i am saying is, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR TREATING YOUR EX...like crap. What does it take to be nice to her..as long as she is not calling u all day, harrasing and disturbing you.

 

Iv been dumped in the past...one of my exes treated me very nicely after we broke up. for that reason, we are actually good friends now, although it took smetime to get to the level we are now.

 

My point being that, YES he may want to explore the field, but thats no excuse for treating your ex like crap...esp when she is not buggering you.

 

As for you sweets(i.e the lady who started the thread).u need to look foward. iv been readin ur previous threads...this guy was saying he wanted to marry u within 3 months..a bit far fecthed !!

I think you should heal, stay off guys for a bit myluv.

 

This guy is clearly NOT worht it. he is sefish and insensitive

juts leave him alone....if he was not gonna marry u neway,it wud have ended one day.

 

Trust me, the end of the tunnel of bright!!!!

Just hang in there, read threads n b strong.

it hurts i know..but we have all been thru it...ok??

xxxx

[Oregon Blackberry]

Whether he has treated her badly or not, he has made it clear that he is not into her anymore whatsoever and in fact is more attracted to his ex and wants to get back with HER. So..you know you can't compete with that, he loves her, not you, why torture yourself by keeping contact.

All relationships are great at one point, butterflies, I love you's, taking care of each other through hard times, etc. But...lots of relationships end because one of them loses feelings. It sucks but it's life.

[ninjaturtles]

Thats true actually. its sad.. i guess i just understand the way she feels..u know...she is the one with all the emotions...she feels hurt..but u know...life goes on!!

 

Dont act as if its soo much of a big deal. see, people change....you dont wanna hear some of the stories that have happened to ppl...such as calling off weddings etc.

 

you are lucky it was just 9 months and not anything more.

 

See, its not that much of a big deal when you think of worse situautions.

 

A lot of times, we let our emotions take control!!

view this guy as a guy..simple..he was not your husband..just a mere guy...he will date other women...life goes on..so shud yours.

 

 

I know its harddddddddddddddd...trust me,...been there and done that...but u know u will be fine with time..just let go and save the rest of your pride!!!

 

its hard but YOU CAN DO IT!!

U CAN LIVE WIHTOUT HIM

HE DOES NOT OWN YOU

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL WANT TO MARRY YOU., NOT SOMEONE WHO WILL GO RUNNING BACK TO HIS EX, MAKING U FEEL INSECURE!!XXXXXXXXXX

[ninjaturtles]

Thats true actually. its sad.. i guess i just understand the way she feels..u know...she is the one with all the emotions...she feels hurt..but u know...life goes on!!

 

Dont act as if its soo much of a big deal. see, people change....you dont wanna hear some of the stories that have happened to ppl...such as calling off weddings etc.

 

you are lucky it was just 9 months and not anything more.

 

See, its not that much of a big deal when you think of worse situautions.

 

A lot of times, we let our emotions take control!!

view this guy as a guy..simple..he was not your husband..just a mere guy...he will date other women...life goes on..so shud yours.

 

 

I know its harddddddddddddddd...trust me,...been there and done that...but u know u will be fine with time..just let go and save the rest of your pride!!!

 

its hard but YOU CAN DO IT!!

U CAN LIVE WIHTOUT HIM

HE DOES NOT OWN YOU

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL WANT TO MARRY YOU., NOT SOMEONE WHO WILL GO RUNNING BACK TO HIS EX, MAKING U FEEL INSECURE!!XXXXXXXXXX

[shadowplay]

my ex of 9 months broke up with me a month and a half ago. it was kinda sudden because he had been acting so in love with me and talking about getting married just a week or two before he dumped me. he said that i was a really great girl to him and the only one that understood him and my family was great to him but he is not ready at all for commitment or marriage and wants to be single and free. but i didnt act crazy or sad or anything. even though it was hurting i acted like i agreed that we should break up. i think me reacting like that really surprised him and he said a lot of really mean hurtful things to me to make me feel bad and we got into a huge hateful argument. we didnt talk at all for a month.

 

i finally texted him one night and he responded back rudely. we texted each other a few more times that night then he told me to leave him alone so he could go to bed. the next morning though he called me and i didnt answer. so i called him the following evening and he was being very rude to me and saying hurtful things just like when we broke up. he was saying that he had forgotten about me and hes trying to get back with his ex girlfriend because shes so much better than me. then he said that me and my family were really good to him but i was just not the kind of girl he usually goes for and it never would of worked. just as i was about to get off the phone with him because he was being so rude to me he started asking me all about what ive been up to, if ive been on any dates, if ive slept with my ex boyfriend, etc. and he said a bunch of things about girls and his ex gf, trying to make me jealous. we ended up talking for 2 hours.

 

i havent talked to him for about 2 weeks so i called him tonight. he ignored the call and texted me right away saying "stop calling." i wrote back "stop being a jerk, i called you one time to see how you've been." well i got no response to that.

 

i just dont understand why hes treating me like this. when i ask him why he cant give me an explanation...just that theres "no reason to talk to me." we have so many good memories and we seemed to love each other very much, we were going to move in together and he used to talk about how excited he was to buy me a ring and start our life together. i dont understand how he can treat me like this. i never hear about anyone else's ex being so totally heartless and cold. especially when he was so close to my family and they were so good to him. i was very very good to him as well. i was the one who rushed to the emergency room at 7:00 in the morning when he got into a bad car accident. im the one who stayed with him the whole time, helped him pee into a bottle, wiped all the blood off his face, stayed overnight with him, took him home a couple days later to my house where i bathed him, fed him, dressed him, changed his bandages, helped him limp around, rubbed his back so he could sleep at night, and drove him to all his doctor's appointments. his parents were too busy with their jobs to even care about him, but i was with him through it all. thats how our whole relationship went. i was so nice and giving. TOO nice.

 

i didnt do anything wrong...i treated him great, no cheating, no lying. i didnt act crazy when we broke up. so WHY is he being so rude and heartless towards me???

 

A few things are going on. He feels guilty about dumping you since you were so good to him, and he's redirecting that self-hate in your direction. He's also angry at you for making him feel guilty by being so good. He's trying to convince himself that he hates you so he can justify what he did.

[underpants]

Missme,

 

Why are you trying to understand crazy? What good could possibly come from it?

 

He treated you really bad. Did you ever make that list? If not go back to your other thread and print it off.

 

He is just a jerk. Too bad for him.

 

What you can do is maybe try to understand your need to validate yourself through his eyes?

 

Go to a counselor, or a free group like co dependents anon, or maybe adult children of alcoholics (if that is applicable). Get to the root of this attraction or you will more then likely repeat dysfunctional relationships and find yourself in this place again and again.

 

Good luck

[missmebaby]

oregon blackberry...it hasnt been 9 months since we broke up. we were together for 9 months. broken up for 1 1/2 months. last time i talked to him 2 weeks ago we talked on the phone for 2 hours and he was asking me all kinds of questions about myself and who ive been dating and if ive hooked up with my ex. i guess i didnt get the hint that he wanted nothing to do with me?

 

underpants..i dont think i need to do something as extreme as seeing a counselor. and definitely not adult children of alcoholics haha my parents never drink and never have. its kinda funny if you knew my parents...they are about as clean cut and boring as you can get. but this isnt something i cry over and it doesnt consume my life or anything. i just get a little down every once in awhile when i think of how much hes changed towards me. i guess im just trying to get some perspective on why hes treating me like this and if its normal or if im overreacting.

 

he is definitely a jerk and i havent taken any of the harsh things hes said to me, to heart. he knows how much me and my family did for him, and i think hes trying to make himself feel better by making me feel like crap. he is getting back with his ex girlfriend...good for him. its what hes always wanted. back with the girl that left him, started dating his best friend, but continued to sleep with him and lead him on.