! I don't know ....

[lockchad]

Let me start this out by giving a snapshot of our relationship. We met in high school, dated (fell in love) for 2 years. I met up with her a few years out of high school and she was with a drunk and needed someone to help her out. I did and tried to rekindle some kind of relationship, got my heart broken again. Well a few years later I was visiting friends in my old town and saw her at her work. She told me she was with a guy i knew and thought to be a good guy, instead he was abusive to her. She called me 3-4 days later and told me she was no longer with him. I moved. We reconnected and have been together 7 years and have a 6 year old son.

 

We live separate lives, come and go as we please. With the child she is always busy and I work 50-60 hours a week to provide our main support. She is quiet and reserved, not very outspoken. I tend to take everything in life seriously and am very formal. I do admit she does alot. She takes care of the budget, takes our son to and from school, and tae kwon do and works 40 hours a week. I try to do what i can but she has routines that she sticks to and I feel in the way when i try to take those responsibilities from her. I have a strong labido and she has lost just about all of her sex drive. This I am somewhat used to, it decreased sharply after the birth of our child and has plateaued to what it is now.

 

I am a locksmith and tonight in between calls when I came home she was in bed. She sat up, softly stared at me and said that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. She says that she feels bad having to say no to me and doesn't feel like it's fair. She also feels overworked. She says she still absolutely loves me and thats why she doesn't want to continue.

 

I felt like i was having a stroke and started to plead for my life. She cried as well and earnestly felt bad about what it was she was doing. I told her I loved her and she told me the same. I told her the sex wasn't very important to me anymore and as long as it meant being with her I could wait as long as she needed me to. I also promised her that I would definitely change and start doing anything she needed me to to help.

 

So.. right now we are on the terms that I will change my ways to help her and that i would sacrifice the sex and not pressure her. I talked to her and she says she has someone at work she has been talking to and it kind of opened her eyes to how unfair the relationship is. The someone is a "he" and she has developed feelings (he has a wife and kid as well) for him. Now this doesn't bother me because i know there is nothing going on between them. Hell its almost like he did me a favor by getting her to talk to me about it. Its purely plutonic but i do feel a little bit threatened by it for the sheer fact that by working with her he spends more time with her than i do. But on the other hand I am happy that she has someone to talk to.

 

I plan to try, and try hard, to take up everything i can to make it easier on her. I also made her agree that we would set time aside, find a sitter and do things together. I am just hurting inside right now. She loves me but doesn't want to have sex with me. I have a lump in my throat and feel like I have a bomb ticking with no display.

 

Do I need to worry or can this work? We have a kid involved so I will do everything in my control to make it work. I just........ well don't know.

 

Thank you in advance.

[tikigods]

I think its time to stop and look at this relationship and what you ahve given up for this woman. She has always had you as a backup and you are always willing to bend over backwards and do whatever it is she asks you to do on any whim she has. Now she is asking for you to give up EVEN MORE for her all the while she is developing feelings for someone else. I think its time to figure out the best wa to support your son and get rid of this woman and find someone that won't make you keep giving and giving while it seems ginving nothing in return

[trent25]

Okay,

 

 

I am really, really angry about your post. You are the man. This means that if your woman doesn't make you happy, you take care of the kid and get rid of her. You should sacrifice sex? Are you kidding me? She is the mother of your child and sleeps in your bed but she won't be intimate with you? What she doesn't want other women want. You get rid of this scam artist. She talks to you about another man? This is simply unacceptable. She sees how unfair the relationship is? Do you beat her, do you make her work so you can eat? Do you starve her?

 

Listen to me very carefully. She lost attraction to you. For whatever reason. The only way to get that back is to tell her scam artist ass to go get that guy at work and stay the f out of your life. Your kid will go through the same thing you are if you don't take a stand. You want him to be with a mom and dad that don't touch each other? Why are you begging and pleading? I will say this again; WOMEN PLACE A HIGHER VALUE ON SOMETHING THEY CANNOT HAVE OR ARE AFRAID OF LOSING. No woman should talk to you like this. Tell her to take her broken a** to another man. I am serious bro. You have to take a stand. I know its hard. It is the mother of your child. But she looks at you as a pathetic man right now. What she will look at you as once you stand up for yourself is this. "Oh my god, he is not acting like himself". Get rid of her. Pay the child support. You want to sleep next to someone who thinks of another man. No f in way. Forget this scam artist. The only way she will start acting like a woman is if she gets attraction back. You should completely pull away. Complete change of character. What she doesn't give, you can get elsewhere. This is nuts. I can't believe you would listen to this. No sex, no intimacy, means no attraction. You are a man, you have a right to demand this from your mate. A healthy woman wants to be desired. Go find someone who wants to be desired.