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She left once and came back..Now she left again


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richardcruz

Well here’s my story. I have been with my girlfriend for about 8 months and we really love each other. Im 28, she just turned 20. But from the get go when we started dating her first instinct has been to push me away. I am her first “real” boyfriend. Prior to me she had just dated around but never really committed. She is very attractive but she is a very driven person and puts her schooling on a very high priority. Anyways, at the time when we first started dating we got intense feelings for each other almost immediately. Then all of a sudden about three weeks later from the blue she tells me that we should just be friends because she didn’t feel ready for a serious relationship and really didn’t want one. I was stunned because I wasn’t suggesting that in anyway as we were just “seeing” each other. I let her be and the next day she text me to tell me she was sorry. I told her that we didn’t have to rush into anything as I was just getting out of a relationship myself and that we should just take things a day at a time. And so we did. Three weeks later we became more involved with each other and officially started “going out.” Five months passes and were both really happy. Yes we have arguments about things but they are typically nothing major. Then I start sensing a loss of interest. She becomes less affectionate with me and seems to be hanging around with me less and less. The typical phone calls from her on her lunch break also stop. I call her on it and she drops this giant load of stuff on me. She says that she doesn’t know if she wants to be in your relationship because she cant see herself with me long term. She says shes sorry and she knows I don’t deserve this because Im a “good person” She continues saying that she really needs time to think. I love her and beg her to stay with me but she just tells me to be strong and leaves. She exits my vehicle and says not to email, txt, or call her because she needs to make her mind up. I leave and cry the whole night and get little to no sleep. If I had learned anything from my previous breakup, it is that persistent calling doesn’t help, so I decided never to call her again. The next day I receive a call from her. She says she’s outside of my house and wants me to come out. She tells me that she had been crying the whole night and has realized that she needs me and that sometimes she feels that she wants to do other things that her single friends are doing (the partying and all that stuff) but she would rather not if it meant losing me. I accept her apology and take her back and things are better than ever for the next three months.

NOW, the past two weeks we have been arguing quite a bit. I recognize that I did cause a lot of the arguing because at times I can be extremely stubborn occasionally and have a hard time letting go of things when I should. Well yesterday we got into an argument again and we didn’t speak to each other for half of the day. She calls me at night after she finishes studying and tells me what I was doing. She asks me If I was still mad and I reply yes. She told me that she had been thinking a lot and that she feels that sometimes she feels that I love her more than she loves me. In the past we had also had arguments about her not compromising and that sometimes I feel that she doesn’t love me as much as I love her. Anyways she continues to say that she feels that she wants to be alone and that she cant see herself with me because she doesn’t like compromising because she has never had the need to in her life. She says that she has already made up her mind . She starts telling me good bye, I start asking her why shes doing this again because she had promised me last time she came back to me that she wouldn’t again. I start crying. She tells me good luck in life as she cries and hangs up while I tell her “wait.” I cry myself to sleep. I wake up in the morning and decide that there are somethings I didn’t get to tell her. I meet her at a coffee shop that she goes to every morning. She looks at me surprised when she sees me. I can tell that she has been crying. I continue to tell her that I was sorry that we had been arguing as of late and that it wasn’t right that I was telling her that I loved her more than she did because everyone shows their love in different ways. She says that she felt like calling me but she had to make an intense effort not to. Before we started taking she told me that she already had made up her mind and that hings wouldn’t work as I apologized to her she said that maybe we should take a few months away from each other. Then as we came to the end of our conversation, she says that everything that I explained to her made sense and that she needs a month, not three months to figure out if she misses me and truly needs me or I it just that shes just used of having me around..I tell her ok. We kiss on the cheek. She tells me she loves me in a shakey (about to cry voice) and we go our separate ways.

 

My questions to you reader is that I don’t know what to feel. I am extremely saddened and feel that I have lost my bestfriend. I feel so depressed and It hurts so bad. I want her to come back to me but im afraid that she’ll learn to cope without me and It will make it easier to say no a month from now. Will she call me before a months time to get back? Will she not call me at all anymore? How do I cope with the pain and the anticipation of expecting her call to reunite? Thank your for your time.. My heart hurts so bad and any words from you would help.

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I just got screwed over by a 20 year old. No, she won't come back. She has or will find someone else. She is 20 bro. She is two years removed from high school. You should not cry infront of her. What is the matter with you? She looks at you as mature and strong. You need to have an attitude where you are old enough and man enough to handle anything. That is the only way she will come back. She needs to know that you are not more emotional than she is. I know you love this girl, just check out my posts to see how much I loved mine. But that doesn't change the fact that we both have 8 years on them. 8 years man, that is a long time. She will get with many, many guys before she realizes that you are the one. She is gone.....If she comes back it will be because you are comfort. You should look at it as, okay, I am dealing with a very young girl who doesn't know anything. NEVER, ever, chase a young girl around. IT IS A MAJOR TURN OFF....She may come back but she won't be yours for another 4 years. Welcome to the world of dating young girls.

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basically the exact same thing my ex has done to me for the last 7 years or so.in the beginning it was she would throw me out of the apartment she had,take me back and do it again in a few months.then i bought the house we lived in.then it was going to the court and getting restraining orders every couple of months,she has even lied to them and said i hit her to get them.ive never layed a hand on her and never would!!well the last time she did that i told her "do it again and ill burn the house to the ground with everything she owns still in it".then it was every few months she would move out and get a restraining order.and here i am again sitting here alone.i kept dealing with it cuz i truely love her and i know she loves me plus we have a child.but the problem is her family cant stand me so they do what they can to get us to break up.but she always comes back.and i keep letting her do it.

 

so unless you want to take the chance of ending up like me id let her go and find another.

 

i just cant let her go.weve been together too long and been through too much together.

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Star Gazer
She has or will find someone else. She is 20 bro. She is two years removed from high school.

 

....

 

But that doesn't change the fact that we both have 8 years on them. 8 years man, that is a long time.

 

 

Agreed. You two are light years apart right now.

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richardcruz

I will not chase this girl around and I definently wont call or text her. The only reason I went to see her was to finish saying what I felt I had to tel her. The ball is in her court now. I wonder if she's hurting as bad as me and if she is why doesnt she stop it and call me. Im hurting but I cant do anything about it. Last time when we broke up to my suprise, she came back the next day. This time I dont think thats gonna be the case. Then again I wasnt even expeccting her to return the first time. I just want her to come back to me. I really love her alot and a month will feel like an eternity. Im the kind of person that cant focus in my other areas of life such as work and other activities when something tramatic is happening in my life. I just feel like falling asleep and waking up a month later. Today has been really bad and I cant imagine 29 more days like this. Then again, there's always the possibility that she may never call. All I do is look at my cell everytime it rings and hope somehow that its her. I just cant stand it. Yes im a man and yes im 28. But to be honest with everyone here, I cant stop crying when im by myself. It hurts me deeply...

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Bro, I am sad too. You don't think I cried a lot. I became physically ill and grayed up on the sides of my head. I went through hell and back with her for 7 months. Everyday I wanted to see her and see if she called. I just found out she is with someone else. This kills me. But then sometimes I sit down and try to think of this logically. She is 20. She has no idea what life is. She is in the selfish stage. Her emotions and what she wants in life changes by the hour. She will have many guys courting her and she will want to party with her friends. I am exactly in the same situtation as you are. All I have to say is be carefull. It is extrememly dangerous to fall in love with a young girl. She does not possess the maturity that a woman has. People who say age doesn't matter are full of crap. It does matter, especially with American girls. American girls usually do not settle down and want stability till they are 25. It is the culture. Be careful man. This will take you to places that you never thought existed. I have been through hell and back and believe me, depression over a 20 year old is not something to play with. I am slowly coming out of it.

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richardcruz

Well to make things more complicated, I was her "first." I held this very special and close to my heart too. I knew she was young but I thought that maybe if she had waited that long for the right person, I thought she would really hold that person special and do everything she can to make things work and not hurt me. But in reality it seems that she has no problem leaving me. I think I might actually see it as more of a special thing because she just seems so much quicker to "through in the towel" on your relationship. I guess I think to myself that it wouldve been nice to have had my "first" experience when i was a little older (as I lost mine when i was wayy young) with someone who truly loved me, kind of like to be in the positon that she's currently in with me.

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trust me for first few days i cried alot.im 28 as well.its only been 2 weeks now and im still crying.doing things i shouldnt do.im going to see a psyciatrist at 11AM cuz i need something to calm me down real bad plus i have other issues that need to be worked on.i thought i had my ex on the edge of comeing back home or staying away.all she needed was a push in my direction and she wouldve been home in a week or so.but i screwed it all up yesterday.it started with an IM.she couldnt achieve what she wanted that way so she called me,i knew better than to answer it.she hung up on me.well she got what she wanted,me getting so freekin mad that i called her a few choice words and said a few things that i shouldnt have said.20 minutes later she started with the emails.trying to keep me going but she waited too long.

 

and ill still take her back if she came back home today.i as i said i love her way too much to let go.maybe in some way my bad choice of words will actually help me.but like i said unless you wanna chance ending up like me,stay away.find another and if needed go see a doctor and get some meds to calm yourself down to make it a little easier for you,or atleast see a counselor.

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Well to make things more complicated, I was her "first." I held this very special and close to my heart too. I knew she was young but I thought that maybe if she had waited that long for the right person, I thought she would really hold that person special and do everything she can to make things work and not hurt me.

 

 

 

This has nothing to do with laws of attraction or if she will love you forever. You were her first. Now she will look for ways to compare you. You will be held special, but you won't be the one with her when she turns 21, 22, or 23. Stay in her life but do not chase. You mean nothing to her right now. She is too immature and young to realize a man that loves her. Welcome to America I guess. Let her go, she may come back for some comfort. You will not end up in marriage yet. She has 4 more years for that.

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richardcruz

Well last night as i was finally about to go to sleep after tossing and turning ,my cell goes off. It was her. She had sent me a text that said she was crying and says for me to wait for her. she says she was really hurt. I dont know if I should respond to these texts. I dont know why shes crying and saying it hurts when she's the one that is causing all of this.

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