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Should I just stop contacting her?


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I told my girlfriend I'm going to give her some space. Then she said "ok" and signed out of Yahoo.

 

Should I just leave it now? What if she really never gets in contact again? She blew very hot, even proposing marriage (after just six weeks) and then blew very cold and disappeared. What is going on? Do women really want what they cant have? Should I eqaully disappear?

Since I told her this I tried to ring three times earlier and sent one text, thanking her for a letter I recieved (which was written two days ago, before all this)

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Can you give some more info on her and your relationship? How long have you been together?...etc.

 

WHY did you tell her you were going to give her some space? Was something said by you and possibly, maybe she was expecting a different reaction out of you???

 

Fill us in more...

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Ok. We have been together just six weeks. But it is very intense, but mutually exciting. She proposed marriage two days ago. So her feelings must be high, even if it is a red flag needy thing. I know, I know, but it does say something.

 

Then yesterday she seemed aloof and distant. I asked what was wrong. She said she hadn't been feeling herself for a few days. She does get down and tends to pull away when she is. Always after we have a fabulous time, there is this period of aloofness from her. Then she seems to snap out of it and enjoy 'us' again. But this time, she has gone for 24 hours with no word, no calls being answered, or texts. I'm a bit panicky now.

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I wonder if you making the comment to her about giving her her space was not a good idea, you want to reel her in and communicate, not push her away. Sometimes us women can be difficult to read. Maybe try something like asking her if there is anything that you can do, or send her a small bouquet of flowers and add a note to put a smile on her face. This relationship is still new and emotions are probably all over the place and she may be a bit confused, take it slow but don't push her away, let her know that if she needs you, that you are there for her. The whole proposal thing seems a bit intense and way too soon, so I don't understand that one, maybe she feels silly about asking you now that she's had time to think about it...or maybe there is an ulterior motive behind her asking you. Sometimes women 'test' men too, we do occasionally have our own reasoning behind the silly things we do.

 

Maybe you should give her a call or send a message letting her know that you are thinking about her.

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Uh... calling her three times and sending her an email is NOT giving her any space. Just back off and give her some time alone. No calls, no emails, maybe she justs wants to be by herself for a short while.

 

Why are you thinking she is not going to contact you again?

 

Jeez... I've been in that situation and it drives me up a wall when a guy gets all clingy like that. Yuck. Just leave her alone for a couple of days.

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I agree with Ssheena. Calling her 3 times is NOT giving her space. Back off dude.

 

She proposed after only 6 weeks? Hopefully she is rethinking making a commitment for a lifetime after so short a time. I hope you are too.

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The thing is that she never outright said "I need my space"...so does she really need her space...or something else??? I think there needs to be more communication here between you two.

 

Did I read in another thread you posted that she was in a fifteen year relationship and had only been out of it for 4 months??? Be careful with this...

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Uh... calling her three times and sending her an email is NOT giving her any space. Just back off and give her some time alone. No calls, no emails, maybe she justs wants to be by herself for a short while.

 

Why are you thinking she is not going to contact you again?

 

Jeez... I've been in that situation and it drives me up a wall when a guy gets all clingy like that. Yuck. Just leave her alone for a couple of days.

 

I was going to give her space. But, I'd just recieved a beautiful letter from her that she had sent just moments before I told her (which was my decision) that I was giving her space. How could I ignore that letter? I thought I'd made a mistake by telling her I was giving her space. These are the two reasons I tried ringing. I tried three times in twenty minutes and then left it all night.

 

She did get in touch and told me that by telling her I was giving her space hurt her as when she is down she needs people. I don't, I like to be left alone, which is why I backed off.

 

I wasn't being clingy, but realised my mistake, and when she saw that I had tried to contact her, it did mean a lot to her. So all in all, I did the right thing getting in touch and apologising. As a result I'm off to spend another few days with her and all is forgiven.

 

It just takes time to adjust to each others moods etc..

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The thing is that she never outright said "I need my space"...so does she really need her space...or something else??? I think there needs to be more communication here between you two.

 

Did I read in another thread you posted that she was in a fifteen year relationship and had only been out of it for 4 months??? Be careful with this...

 

Thats right. I asked her twice if she wanted space, and she said no. But I still told her I was going to anyway. I realised my mistake very quickly and made it up to her. I will not do that again as I have now learned what she wants when she is down, and that is a friend and a listener. I am forgiven, it seems.

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Yes...most men want to be alone when they're having a bad time, and most women want affection and company.

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That's good that it has worked out and now you know that when she is down, she still wants you to be in contact with her and that's she's just in a mood.

 

It would however, be nice, if she could have verbalized that before you freaked out. As in, I'm kinda feeling a tad blue or moody right now and I am not my normal self but I still want you around, I just want you to know that I'm moody right now. At which point you could thank for for telling you that and let her know that you will be there for her however she is.

 

Of course, that's probably a "perfect" senario.

 

Glad things are OK thou!

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