I need understanding this man!

[Guest]

We have been dating for about 6 month. He wants me around all the time but puts minimal effort into taking me out or showing me affection. In the past we have had many discussions/ breakups over his lack of affection, effort, etc. He has gotten better verbally expressing his "like" for me but is still not getting the romance/ taking a woman out part.

 

He is under a lot of stress at work and tells me that this is the reason why he lacks in the "taking out" department. I cook, clean, make his lunches, do his laundry, everything he needs I try to take care off.

 

Last week I took him on a weekend getaway for V-day. I baked cookies, planned the whole thing, dropped some cash, etc. We had a fab time up until Sat night. I expected him to take me to a romantic dinner, gaze into my eyes, blah, blah He wanted to go to sleep. WHAT? I went out by myself. We briefly made up the next day with him telling me that he was sorry he disappointed me, etc. I forgave him, we spent several hours having fun until we got to the airport. I asked him why he apologized and he said that he felt sorry for me!

 

And that he needed time to think about things..."He is tired of hurting me all the time & making me sad" We spent both flights in dead silence, drove to his house where I had a some stuff that I needed, he made sure to point out my stuff in the bathroom and suggested I take that with me as well. After I looked at him, questioning the comment, he said, "the writing is on the wall"...I left.

 

I wrote him an email, nice, suggesting that things were crazy in our lives and that perhaps we could stay friends. This is what I got back:

 

I felt bad for you because I had hurt you, and you had planned this trip and had expectations that did not go your way. I could see your pain and wanted to comfort you, but since it was my fault I did not know if you wanted comfort from me. It was not pity and never has been. Again, I did the wrong thing Sunday night and said the wrong thing at the airport. I was not sad because I am tired of doing the wrong thing and upsetting you. I know I will feel the loss in the near future, and it will hurt, but it is something I will have to live with and overcome. Yes, you have done everything I could ever hope for and you can walk away knowing you gave it your all.

 

Thank you for the pictures and the trip to XXX, and everything else. It would be inappropriate to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, so I will just say Valentine's Day. I hope the best for you and would like to keep in touch in the future.

 

NOW, this is not the first time he or I have broken things off, emailed several times back & forth and made up. I usually make the first step and he is just overjoyed & happy. Tells me how much he missed me and that we should work it out. His excuses are that he tries but is unable to show his feelings and he agrees with everything I accuse him off...

 

He is a changed man for a couple of days, showers me with attention and I can see in his eyes how much he has missed me. I feel made a fool of and I feel that this relationship is one sided. I miss him & wish I could just call and make things better but I don't think this is the right move this time. What do you think?