Wish i did go NC, but i didnt..

[happygilmore]

Confused.

my ex is 23 female and im 25.

Ive been with her 4 years 4 months,she told me how happy she was and how much she loved me etc, things got bad when i started doing steroids but i didnt notice my change..She did.

got moody over nothing#..

 

I become abit distant to her and saw my friends more for gym and even planned to go newcastle newyear also played pc alot..

She showed me love always , with texts like i love u soo much etc, when she was wit her m8's..

Then trying to make me jealous with words like i got lap dance from man in santa suit.

so i said i got girls tits in my face coz i was pissed off with her text..

then she txted me when i was asleep bout 3 and 4 am like i need u and im naked in my bed..

i feel now she thought i cheated on her..

i only saw them in the morning.

 

well i moaned at her 1 day over a pair of shoes i didnt like over the phone (i dont know why i moaned turn moody sumtimes)

She lefted work early and packed her stuff, waited for me to get home crying to say= i need space to see how i feel on the 19th dec..

 

she texted me this isnt the spur of the moment il ring u in the newyear..

next day i text her = do u need space or r we over..

she said = im sorry finished.

 

next day= i texted her how i feel.

she said.. she ring me in the newyear to see how she feels after time apart not righting us off, but i feel gd now x

everyday i gave her nice texts up to newyear.

She said things like , im fine at the moment, im gd, ive made the right choice.

 

I texted her up to 20th jan bout 4 wks trying to tell her my mistakes, sent flowers and telling her il stop doing steroids..

she said she didnt trust me anymore, wit drugs..

I said= my goodbyes.

Then she asked my girl m8 out for a chat.. told her basically she had loads of niggley bits over the years, sum silly i.e. talking bout pc stuff and she liked to have me back but scared id hurt her again.

 

so i texted her said it upsets me and i miss her that she talks to my m8 and not me..

She said i lefted dvds at yours and need to get them sumtime, when u have settled (i felt like a wuss). But she gave me my presents early and she didnt want mine when we split, (so why she bothered bout 2 dvd boxsets worth bout 50 quid).

 

so i went NC on the 24th jan coz i had anoth.

then she texted me on 28th=

She said: im in the area wit a m8, can i get dvds (she lives 10 miles away)

i text: how long u gonna b?

she text: 5 mins ok?

i said: thats fine...

she text 10 mins later that her cars got problems needs to get home..

i said:opps hope your cars ok, shall idrop them around yours..

she said: yep if u could.

 

so i texted her today 29th jan. can i meet u tomorrow im not busy 2 give u dvd? im not going to hassle u, if u hav no love for me wats the point...

she said: im busy this week.

i said: when can u? do u hav a problem seeing me?

she said: No im just busy.

 

 

Wat shall i do? dragging on. i want her back bad, shes like my baby im her only sexual boyfriend and i treated her bad and its come to this to realise wat ive done... feel like **** that i hurt her feelings.. NEVER do steroids makes u on edge and aggesive thats my lesson..

 

i feel after reading this site ive made things worse by telling her how i feel and my mistakes and not going NC..

 

Why would she be so funny to see me? and say (got to go home car got problems, like she bottled it), never seen her turn so cold to me when she adored me to death and kissed and hugged me as much as she can, i know ive coursed sum bad mistakes..

 

wat is your advice for me please? and wat would u do with dvd's?

 

Thanks Andrew...