SadBabyGirl Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Me: I just want to know why you've been a bit distant lately.. it seems you are bored with me or something ( after 8 months of our relationship, which of course, like most are WONDERFUL in the beginning) We began to cohabit btw. Him: You're not going to like what I have to say Me: Just Say it Him: Im not happy with you. I am getting older and I want to start thinking about my future and making a family and I can say for sure this relationship will not lead into a marriage or a long term one. Its not you, its me. You are wonderful, nurturing, beautiful, nothing is wrong with you. I just want to be honest and not let you get your hopes up. I REALLY care about you, but I dont 'love' you. I dont know what I feel right now, Im so depressed, with work and my debts and my family being far away. I am so homesick and everything isnt making me happy. Me: So if i didnt do anything wrong, than WHAT IS IT? Him: Culture. I prefer marrying a girl from my own country. I wanted to try a relationship with an american girl to give it a chance, and I find something is missing, which is hard to explain. It has nothing to do with you though as a person. You are a good person. Me: So what should we do now?? Him: Either end it now and just be friends and Ill help u with whatever you need, or we can end it later and be in the relationship now, but with your knowing it will not last. ME: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WHAT SHOULD I DO, I WANT TO STAY WITH HIM BUT IM HURTING,,SHOULD I STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE ISNT HAPPY FOR MY SAKE OR LEAVE IT)? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WHAT SHOULD I DO, I WANT TO STAY WITH HIM BUT IM HURTING,,SHOULD I STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE ISNT HAPPY FOR MY SAKE OR LEAVE IT)? I think you should leave, find someone else. It's he's loss. Link to post Share on other sites
jusified Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 That is an extremely ignorant attitude he has. Why would you go out ith someone just to see what its like because of their background. Leave him and go for someone better Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Me: I just want to know why you've been a bit distant lately.. it seems you are bored with me or something ( after 8 months of our relationship, which of course, like most are WONDERFUL in the beginning) We began to cohabit btw. Him: You're not going to like what I have to say Me: Just Say it Him: Im not happy with you. I am getting older and I want to start thinking about my future and making a family and I can say for sure this relationship will not lead into a marriage or a long term one. Its not you, its me. You are wonderful, nurturing, beautiful, nothing is wrong with you. I just want to be honest and not let you get your hopes up. I REALLY care about you, but I dont 'love' you. I dont know what I feel right now, Im so depressed, with work and my debts and my family being far away. I am so homesick and everything isnt making me happy. Me: So if i didnt do anything wrong, than WHAT IS IT? Him: Culture. I prefer marrying a girl from my own country. I wanted to try a relationship with an american girl to give it a chance, and I find something is missing, which is hard to explain. It has nothing to do with you though as a person. You are a good person. Me: So what should we do now?? Him: Either end it now and just be friends and Ill help u with whatever you need, or we can end it later and be in the relationship now, but with your knowing it will not last. ME: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WHAT SHOULD I DO, I WANT TO STAY WITH HIM BUT IM HURTING,,SHOULD I STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE ONE ISNT HAPPY FOR MY SAKE OR LEAVE IT)? i'm in a interrational relationship and it is the worst. i feel the pain everyday Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well, I was in a similar situation before. He was the one that told me to have faith and when I decided to give it a try, he slacked off. I would say that you should let it go as fast as you can. You have to "let it die". Sorry to put it this way but when it comes to international relationship, everything becomes more complicated. So if he can't see a future with you, you'd better start letting go and moving on before you get really deep into it which will only leave you with more hurt feeling. In the long run, it is the best solution. However, I still believe that two people who truely love each other can overcome anything in the relationship to make it work and last. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadBabyGirl Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 He can be so confusing. Since our 'fight' hes been more affectionate, hes been doing a lot for me, we've been making love and he always gives me kisses and hugs before work in the morning. So I have no idea whats going on.. its like he does care about me like he says, but his shell is not willing to let him admit that its anything more than..that. I dont know what happened. I dont think it is his family, because his family members know about me, he even sent them our couple pics. Perhaps its the reason that I am not financially ready, stability wise. Im still in college trying to get my BA, I dont have a car yet, Im pretty dependant on him, we are cohabiting. I am working towards bettering myself and my future. But right now I dont feel ready to be a wife or a mother. Maybe this is what he sees? He is 30 and beginning to plan his future. He also will be leaving the country once his visa expires and theres no way out of it, a green card wouldnt even work because of the strict limitations on the visa. He does not want to hurt me. I dont know if hes being so affectionate just to make me happy or not hurt me. Im trying to take it casually, and use his help and at the mean time focus on my things and check out the other fish that are out there... Its all confusing and I dont know what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
sunangel Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Why would you stay with someone who is ALREADY warning you in advance that there is NO hope for a future together. You don't need anymore signs to show you that this relationship isin't working.... Unfortunately you can't force someone to fall in love with you! There is still someone out there for you who will really love you.... Move on Link to post Share on other sites
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