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Work Relationship Too Personal


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I didn't quite know where to post this, but the "breakups" section seemed the best because of the other person's situation.

 

I started working at a new company about four months ago, and I met a few new people who were around my age. I had lost my other job due to budget cuts, and the months that I spent unemployed (and recently dumped) left me a hollow pit with zero self-esteem. I am a fairly attractive, fun person -- but I am EXTRAORDINARILY shy, which makes me somewhat socially awkward at first.

 

Because of that, this guy at work quickly became my new crush because I [knew I] was out of his league, and he used to hang onto every word that I said with special attention, which was incredibly flattering after being emotionally flattened like a pancake. However, once we began to spend more time together, it became pretty evident that we did not match up intellectually, emotionally, or in any other way that might make us compatible.

 

By the time we went on our first (and only) real date, I had figured out that he would not make me happy, and because of that, I would not make him happy. I told him that we worked together, and so I didn't think we should continue to do this, and that maybe we should still be friends -- and I may have been too nice, if that's possible.

 

I recently started seeing someone else, and I am very happy about this turn of events. The unfortunate thing is that the guy from work has also become a part of the group that I now hang out with (which is how I met this new guy). This is fine by me -- I make no effort to invite him places or include him, and I'm not bothered that he is there. Honestly, I could take him or leave him.

 

But we talk at work all the time, and this has led to some extremely uncomfortable conversations where he confesses his feelings for me, or his heartbreak, which is not only unprofessional but is extremely irritating since we only went on one date -- how much closure do you need?! It got to the point where I had to tell him, very harshly, that he assumed he knew me much better than he really did -- and that I didn't let my close friends in very easily so please back off, buddy.

 

This has all culminated in him giving me a Christmas present. In his note, he reasoned that since he had started it weeks ago, he would still give it to me, even though he admits that it's probably inappropriate now.

 

It makes me uncomfortable for several reasons:

 

The present is a somewhat "inside joke" (but one that I shared with all of my friends, not just him) -- but this makes it extremely personal.

 

I know that it was time consuming and possibly somewhat expensive, even though it's homemade.

 

But the clincher is that it also happens to be a design concept that I was personally excited about creating MYSELF. He essentially stole one of my creative ideas, and gave it to me as a christmas present.

 

I don't know what to do. I don't plan on thanking him while I'm on vacation (or ever, possibly...Thanks for stealing my design ideas?) and I plan to wait to address it when I get back to work in January -- but I'm scared that a blowup will get back to my group of friends, and I just barely started seeing this other guy. Frankly, I'd die happy if no one ever knew about this present. The new guy knows that something went on between me and the guy at work, but to [both of our] knowledge, this wasn't going to be a problem going forth, and I think he kind of assumed it wasn't mutual, anyway. Sometimes to hear work guy talk about it, you'd think that I led him on and then dumped him flat -- I was honest from the get go, and can I say once more that it was ONE DATE!

 

I can't have this guy giving me gifts and acting like he knows me so well when I would like to maintain a professional/distant friendship with him.

 

Any ideas? How would you handle this situation?

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