Guest Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 it's been two months since we broke up. he said that he would hurt the most if we can't be friends cuz it'll be like he's losing his heart and best friend. but i tried texting and calling him but he doesnt' answer. i just want a final convo for closure and he doesnt even give it to me. even if he is busy y can't he take 5 mins to reply to a text saying he doesn't want to talk yet??? is he avoiding the situation or me? he said he's not ready for a rlationship for career reasons.i waited for 5 months but still nothing so we went separate ways. does it not hurt him? i jus need to know where we are. if its over text me and say its over for good. y is he playing this ignorign game when he says im his first love and only person he ever cared for (he was in a realtionship before)?? i don't get it. im hurting so much! Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I'm so sorry for how your feeling, but the old cliches are true: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS !!!!! thats it honey, thats all you need to know. If he loved and missed you that much, he'd be in contact.Maybe he meant it when he said it, maybe he's had a brain tumour and forgot you existed, either way it doesnt matter a bit. All that matters is he's not showing you ANY caring or attention. Now, get yourself together, cry with friends, get over him, buy a new outfit, whatever, and go out and find somone who's not fill of sh*t. My first husband loves me with all his heart, was an abusive alcoholic and had been tortured as a child. I stuck by for 7 yrs trying to "save" him. Then I realized, it didnt matter WHAT he went through as a child, what he said, even how much i knew he loved me, the bottom line was: What he gave me was not good enough and was not acceptable. Please, believe in yourself and try and find somone kind and real and true who adores you. In words AND actions Link to post Share on other sites
CosmoBella Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Hello Guest, Okay, Ive been in the same situation. Ill tell you this, you shouldnt contact him because if he wanted to contact you he would. Simple as that. Sorry but its true. He may not know what he wants if he told you one thing and acted out in a different way. Maybe he doesnt want to deal with what is going on. You need to have NC, and do this for yourself because it doesnt matter how much you love him or how much pain youre going thru he just doesnt care. Its hard to get over someone you love, this is the only way NC. People in this world just dont know how they affect other people with their actions. Keep your head up sweetie! Link to post Share on other sites
confusedangel Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 so i finally subscribed. thanks for replying. it's so painful! i see him around campus and he does acknowledge me but its like i'm just another person. how do u act like that if you were once intimate with them? i can understand if couples ignore each other over a fight but thats only for a few days. it's been two months and when i see him he acts like im jus another person not even as a friend. i don't understnd how he can say all those things to me in the past and be like this. if he's ignoring the situation and comes to me when he's done needing space how does he expect me to react? i jus dont undesrtand. i love him so much. i gave him everything cuz he was my first love and i thought it was going to alst forever. i still have hopes of getting back. he's 5 years older than me he should know better. if he does even want me as a friend then how can he act like this? the pain dint even lessen one bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 so i finally subscribed. thanks for replying. it's so painful! i see him around campus and he does acknowledge me but its like i'm just another person. how do u act like that if you were once intimate with them? i can understand if couples ignore each other over a fight but thats only for a few days. it's been two months and when i see him he acts like im jus another person not even as a friend. i don't understnd how he can say all those things to me in the past and be like this. if he's ignoring the situation and comes to me when he's done needing space how does he expect me to react? i jus dont undesrtand. i love him so much. i gave him everything cuz he was my first love and i thought it was going to alst forever. i still have hopes of getting back. he's 5 years older than me he should know better. if he does even want me as a friend then how can he act like this? the pain dint even lessen one bit. I have always thought that if you really do have feelings for someone it is a lot harder to stay in contact. The last two relationships that I was in it was so hard to see that person becuase there were feeling of hurt and love. Even if I was the one who called it off but I still loved that person I just couldn't bear to see them. If i did happen to run into them I would try to avoid it. Whatever feelings you are having he is too. There is no rules for breaking up or getting over someone but time does heal all wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
EllieBear Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 OMG confusedangel I am sooo in the same situation as you! Your not by chance from Pittsburgh? LOL might be the same guy! LOL He was 7 years older then me...ME being 24 and him 31...and like you I thought being older would make him more able to be upfront and not be like those 24 year olds I use to date. and I finally thought this is what I needed...My ex and I have been broken up for a month and like yours he said he wanted to be friends and still talk b/c he wanted to see how I was doing...and poof like that he stops calling, stops returning my texts and calls...But I continue to call and I keep taking steps back from healing! But still you wanna know why and keep calling and texting and no reply...I would love to know why but somethings in life we just aren't ment to know. Like yours he told me cared but how can someone care so much for you and then ignore you...I wish i could tell you why they do this...but I can't...but take it from me being in the same situation as you..this is WHAT you MUST do!!! Start the No Contact...Even delete his #...It's what everyone is saying and its true! I don't promise that he will call but this will show him that you aren't at home waiting for him to call and that you are moving on. If you have NC it helps you to get over him and move on. I know you prob don't wanna move on and think he is the only one for you...but if he cared he would call...that's the bottom line...he's not calling so I think to myself he doesn't care so why should I?? Its been a month for me and my heart is starting to feel better...only after a month...Though I have broken down a few times and called and got no reply...Ass! Like everyone else says his actions are telling you that it is over...I know you want closure but your closure is that he doesn't want to talk to you. Let me ask you something?? When someone calls you and you know who is calling and then you don't answer...? Why don't you answer? It's b/c you don't wanna talk to that person and not to sound harsh but that is what your ex is doing. He doesn't want to talk to you! I'm sorry but thats what ppl told me and it helped... Just hang out with friends, work out, do stuff you like to do, read break up books, do whatever...and then maybe when loser is ready he will call you b/c i'm sure he will call one day..and you will be over him and then maybe you can be friends...that is if you want to be. If you wanna talk more let me know! I'm totally with you on this! I'm hear if you need anything! Link to post Share on other sites
confusedangel Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I have always thought that if you really do have feelings for someone it is a lot harder to stay in contact. The last two relationships that I was in it was so hard to see that person becuase there were feeling of hurt and love. Even if I was the one who called it off but I still loved that person I just couldn't bear to see them. If i did happen to run into them I would try to avoid it. Whatever feelings you are having he is too. There is no rules for breaking up or getting over someone but time does heal all wounds. i still love him very much and i always believed that if we break up i will never be able to see him or talk so i said i'll never be his friend. But he said he would be real hurt and so i tried to keep contact. why is he ignoring me now? it's like he doesn't even want to be friends anymore. he says he still loves me and i want to believe that but he's not showing that he cares at all. even after all the mean things he's said to me i still want to work things out because i believe that if you truely love each other you should be together and things will work but he keeps runnning away from his problems and stress and when he does get stressed im the one he drops. how can he say he loves me then when he wants to put me aside like that? Link to post Share on other sites
confusedangel Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 hi elliebear, its so hard bc its been so long already and im not even getting any better. i miss him more and i want to talk to him more but the time does make me question if whether i want to be with him anymore. i still love him but should i stay in a relationship thats unfair to me. i thought i can give and not take but is it worth it? i always believed that he made it worth it when we're good but when we're bad its like this. i dont know anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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