shadowplay

Found some old diary entries I wrote when I was 19-20, many of them revolving around Jack* ("Harvard Guy") and my gradual descent into depression.

*I've changed all the names.

Jan 26, 2003

I can't stop thinking about Jack. I had a dream about him recently, the first one where we actually kissed. It's strange but whenever I like someone I never dream about them. Maybe it means I'm thinking about him less. I was at least until I had this dream....

God, I can't believe what a fool I've made of myself.

If I only had been patient. Instead I just kept digging a deeper hole.

Now I've lost the one thing I ever wanted.

Gawwwwd....

I am drowning in sea of words. I am an emotional exhibitionist, it's ridiculous. I need to stop now.

I always want to fix everything. I can't let anything go. I am out of control.

Somebody please kill me now.